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Dumping friends over politics or religion
#11
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
(January 21, 2017 at 9:55 pm)abaris Wrote: I never dumped a friend over politics or religion. There was one who's political views I despised with a vengeance. He dumped me for reasons unknown, but I would have continued the friendship.

Practically all my friends as a teenager had completely different political and religious views as myself. I was relatively more conservative while they were very liberal, and they were pretty non religious and didn't share a lot of my values. Nowadays I have more friends that are more like minded. But i think since i grew up with very different minded folks, it made me more tolerant of opposing views. My best friend remains the same one I've had since high school. A very liberal and non religious woman. It doesn't bother me.

(January 21, 2017 at 10:24 pm)Shell B Wrote: A vote or a religion cannot describe the entirety of a person. There is no single metric with which the merit the worth of a person as a friend. I'll say right now that there are people who voted for Trump who were "close" to me in some way or another whose true colors shone during the election. I've learned more about them, not because of who they voted for, but because of what they were willing to say and do when it became okay to say and do those things. I've made decisions based on that. I also know people who voted for Trump who are still genuine and kind, if a bit naive. Anyway, nope. Voting preference and religion do not determine who my friends are.

Well said!
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
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#12
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
Nah, I think it's a mark of maturity if you can continue your relationships with people despite the differences in your opinions.
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#13
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
(January 21, 2017 at 10:41 pm)pool the great Wrote: Nah, I think it's a mark of maturity if you can continue your relationships with people despite the differences in your opinions.

Funny.
The older I get, the pickier I become. I find no need to keep people around when we share little to no common ground. There might be exemptions, but I can't think of any at the moment.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#14
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
(January 21, 2017 at 10:59 pm)Mamacita Wrote: Funny.
The older I get, the pickier I become. I find no need to keep people around when we share little to no common ground. There might be exemptions, but I can't think of any at the moment.

How does one grow and change and learn and ponder without being exposed to opposing viewpoints?
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#15
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
(January 21, 2017 at 11:01 pm)phoenix31 Wrote:
(January 21, 2017 at 10:59 pm)Mamacita Wrote: Funny.
The older I get, the pickier I become. I find no need to keep people around when we share little to no common ground. There might be exemptions, but I can't think of any at the moment.

How does one grow and change and learn and ponder without being exposed to opposing viewpoints?

I was the opposing view point for many years. I know what I need to know about Christianity. Regarding politics, there's always people to have conversations with. Doesn't make them my friends.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#16
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
I don't really care enough about politics or religion. 

Which probably sounds odd on a forum like this where I seem to have a reputation as having some controversial or bold political or religious opinions.

But I do come on this forum a lot of the time purely to question things people might take as obviously correct or right.  I think that's the beauty of free speech and the internet.

In person though I wouldn't go out of my way to do that in my situation.

In my lifestyle most of the time I'm in work.  And chatting in work makes the hours go by, I'm not there to question people's dearly held beliefs of any sort.

 My favorite person to chat to in work is a Hilary supporting lesbian who voted to stay in Europe but who curiously is against Polish people in the country.  I voted for Brexit, not a big fan of Hillary and I'm part Polish.
But the biggest debate we've had is about our favorite TV programs and superheros.  She likes batman more than superman.

Other than in work I don't really just hang out and chill with people unless it's intimate relations with them. 

Intimate relations and getting through work so I get paid without stress in work are two important things to me.  You don't want to fuck up diplomatic relations in areas that are important to you so I don't see a reason to go looking for an argument.   

I think I have quite a good radar when it comes to knowing what's going to cause an argument/debate or sensing what people feel strongly about.

On this forum I tend to steer towards having an argument/debate by questioning what people take as for granted as a fact where as in person I'd rather chat about something more fun or a convo that's more flexible and won't center around the same topic for too long.  Not that I won't state an opinion on things but I'm pretty good at navigating around topics usually.

Obviously the two things people lost friends over were Brexit and Trump.  I find both topics pretty boring to talk about with people so I don't.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





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#17
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
(January 21, 2017 at 10:12 pm)Neo-Scholastic Wrote:
(January 21, 2017 at 9:53 pm)Mamacita Wrote: I have been dumped for being atheist, and I don't give a shit, because ultimately I don't really like those Christians anyway.

My wife married an atheist. He became a Christian. This year we celebrate our 26th anniversary. YMMV


Hey, you got to drop that other shoe!  Was she an atheist?  If so, is she still?
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#18
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
I don't have any friendships and it has nothing to do with politics or religion. I don't despise people, I just prefer to be alone for the most part. I realize i'm my own best company. That being said i don't discriminate over political or religious difference. I enjoy diversity of view points. Though i rarely engage in religious or political discussions.  I'd rather be outdoors having fun, enjoying my life.

(January 21, 2017 at 10:41 pm)pool the great Wrote: Nah, I think it's a mark of maturity if you can continue your relationships with people despite the differences in your opinions.

I agree.
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#19
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
(January 21, 2017 at 9:53 pm)Mamacita Wrote: Didn't know if this went here, in politics, or religion, so tadaaaaaa!

Would you dump your friend due to political or religious differences?

I have been dumped for being atheist, and I don't give a shit, because ultimately I don't really like those Christians anyway. I have a few theist acquaintances, but they're not really committed to their faith. I just can't be friends with dedicated Christians. They annoy the hell out of me.

Politics. I simply cannot be friends with someone who voted for Trump. I can't. Someone said that we can't look at people and only see what they voted, labeling them as such. She said people who dump friends over politics are part of the problem in this country. She said politics should be separated from friendship. I disagree. How you vote (especially in these elections) says a lot about you. If you can vote into presidency a fool who mimics someone with cerebral palsy, you are a douche bag. End.

What do you think?

"I simply cannot be friends with someone who voted for Trump. I can't. Someone said that we can't look at people and only see what they voted, labeling them as such. She said people who dump friends over politics are part of the problem in this country. She said politics should be separated from friendship. I disagree. How you vote (especially in these elections) says a lot about you. If you can vote into presidency a fool who mimics someone with cerebral palsy, you are a douche bag. End. "

I think a lot of people think like that, and that it's unfortunate. I've lost friends because of politics this election, and it wasn't by my doing. I think it's really unfortunate that certain people are so angry and full of hatred about me exercising my right to vote who I want to vote for.
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#20
RE: Dumping friends over politics or religion
I have never dumped a friend over religion (that I can remember), but I have been dumped by a Christian friend because I was pagan. But I tend to not make friends with very religious people in the first place, so it would be hard to dump someone that isn't there.  

When it comes to politics, I've noticed that this has become more important for me during the later years. In my teens and even most of my twenties, I didn't really think much about politics, but with the world growing increasingly more mad, I find that political views matter more than they used to. As with the very religious, I tend to not meet and befriend political opposites in the first place, so I wouldn't say I've dumped a friend over it. However, I have kept my distance from acquaintances once I've discovered that their basic values are so opposite of mine. 

But ultimately, as someone else have already mentioned, it would depend on how strongly committed the friend were to their religious/political views, and what other redeeming qualities they might possess.
* * *  Something something dark side  * * *
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