Using sir and ma'am to address people...

[brewer]

I use sir and lady/miss, rarely ma'am. If I use ma'am my brain tends to complete the word and then my eyes wander.

[popeyespappy]

Yeah, I'm not ready to be called sir yet.

Just wait until you start getting unsolicited senior discounts at random restaurants...

[brewer]

Yeah, I'm not ready to be called sir yet.

Just wait until you start getting unsolicited senior discounts at random restaurants...

Or can I see your AARP card.

[mlmooney89]

So being southern to the bone I can't handle when people say "don't call me sir or ma'am because I'm not old" I want to scream at them it isn't about age it's about respect. I used to give the same respect to children that they gave me.
"Mrs Mandy can I play at this station now?"
"Did you clean up your last station?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Then yes sir/ma'am you may."

I never blinked an eye at calling children ma'am and sir nor did the children at being called that because in the south it is part of our culture and I think what makes our charm. Manners mean so much to me and I do get offended if I ask someone a question and they say "yeah" instead of 'yes ma'am" At my work I get called ma'am all day by all ages. I know it's just a matter of different cultures but I can't stand the yankee manners and find them very rude. One of my coworkers is from New York and the rest of us have to remember that she wasn't raised with our manners and she doesn't mean anything when she speaks the way she does.

With that said I do understand that with people being more comfortable being themselves some don't identify as one gender or another and that is fine but it makes southern manners difficult. I know this is my problem not theirs and will probably be the start of a slow death of ma'am and sir which makes me very sad but I understand people matter more than society rules. As for now if I can obviously determine the gender I will still use ma'am/sir. If I can't I will rephrase to try and keep good manners while not labeling.

[drfuzzy]

It's probably a southern thing, a military thing, a generational thing.
I was raised to say "Sir" and "Ma'am".  It was ingrained as a sign of respect.  I miss parts of the old formality.  
And - mhmooney - I fell in to the old habit with a transgender cashier.  She loved being called "Ma'am".  
But I see the problem with some who are genderqueer and asexual and androgynous . . . 
we need new terms of respect!

[vorlon13]

I remember a departmental secretary many years ago I always addressed as Ms. Tracy and I even tried to put a southern twang on it a bit. I could tell she liked it, and since most of the other dwellers of cubeville openly thought she was crazy as a bed bug (she was) it helped me to get my items faster and I'd like to think with a little better results.

Unlike a later replacement . .

Company policy of course forbid me calling that one 'bitch' and I didn't, and I didn't ever even when she was out of ear shot. What I found galling however, was that virtually everyone else did refer to her as 'bitch' (or far worse) when she was out of ear shot. And she wasn't above fucking up a document if she got wind of any disgruntlement towards her in cubeville.

BTW, I've googled many folks as of late, and I find something about most everyone I look for. Except her. She has apparently left this mortal coil without a trace.

maybe Satan assimilated her from the timeline for a special project ?

[mlmooney89]

It's probably a southern thing, a military thing, a generational thing.
I was raised to say "Sir" and "Ma'am".  It was ingrained as a sign of respect.  I miss parts of the old formality.  
And - mhmooney - I fell in to the old habit with a transgender cashier.  She loved being called "Ma'am".  
But I see the problem with some who are genderqueer and asexual and androgynous . . . 
we need new terms of respect!

I agree! My cousin is gender fluid and I honestly didn't know what this meant and (see I want to say she right here but I was told those pronouns aren't ok so I'm trying really hard to abide by that but when something is taught one way for decades and it is how you communicate it's hard) said it means some days Morgan feels like a girl some days like a guy so one label doesn't work. Well okay so what do I put on your wedding invitation? I was going to do Mr. and Mrs. Husband's name like everyone else. I was told to use Mr. and Mx. well okay but if I'm trying use southern manners how do I pronounce that? WHAT DO I CALL YOU?!?! The answer was just "Morgan" as you can see Morgan is not from the south and doesn't care lol. I do know an ex of mine is dating someone like that and he just says "They" instead of he/she but that makes it sound like the person is crazy and has multiple personalities.

[SteelCurtain]

I use "my friend" and "y'all" for people I don't know that are my age.

As in:

"Hi, my friend!" or "What's up, y'all!"

[Minimalist]

I use "sir" for older men (significantly older, I mean) who I don't know. I would not for someone my age-ish or younger

British people generally don't say "ma'am". If I'm writing formally I will use "Dear Sir/Madam" or if it's a stranger I would probably say "Miss" but I don't often

That's pretty much where I am. Males older than myself are 'sir' or'mister'.  Males my age or younger are generally 'mate'. 'Ma'am' I reserve for female magistrates or the Queen.  Woman I don't know I tend to address as 'miss' or (if they're older) 'dear'.

Boru

Hard for me to find males older than myself.  It's a narrow window.

[Godscreated]

So being southern to the bone I can't handle when people say "don't call me sir or ma'am because I'm not old" I want to scream at them it isn't about age it's about respect. I used to give the same respect to children that they gave me.
"Mrs Mandy can I play at this station now?"
"Did you clean up your last station?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Then yes sir/ma'am you may."

I never blinked an eye at calling children ma'am and sir nor did the children at being called that because in the south it is part of our culture and I think what makes our charm. Manners mean so much to me and I do get offended if I ask someone a question and they say "yeah" instead of 'yes ma'am" At my work I get called ma'am all day by all ages. I know it's just a matter of different cultures but I can't stand the yankee manners and find them very rude. One of my coworkers is from New York and the rest of us have to remember that she wasn't raised with our manners and she doesn't mean anything when she speaks the way she does.

With that said I do understand that with people being more comfortable being themselves some don't identify as one gender or another and that is fine but it makes southern manners difficult. I know this is my problem not theirs and will probably be the start of a slow death of ma'am and sir which makes me very sad but I understand people matter more than society rules. As for now if I can obviously determine the gender I will still use ma'am/sir. If I can't I will rephrase to try and keep good manners while not labeling.

Politeness is not a societal rule it's just good ol' manners to treat people with respect and others need to learn that we in the south are raised to respect others. I always hold the door open for ladies even when they say that I shouldn't treat them that way, yeah I've had that said to me, some perceived societal rules just suck.

GC