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[Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
#31
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 6:57 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:
(September 2, 2017 at 1:05 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Girls aren't that complicated.

lol

 Really Catholic Lady?

Humans are complicated both males and females. 

If life were that easy, you wouldn't have to go through courtship and the dance of dating.

If relationships were that easy, it would be as simple as walking up to someone you are attracted to and say, "Hey wanna fuck?"

In reality most men and women would go "Huh?"

Life may be needlessly complicated, but it is and neither males or females as individuals can be summed up in simple cliches. 

Some women like a take charge guy. I have always hated guessing at what women want and prefer them to make the first move. Some women like sensitive men but not beach muscle bolder looking guys that look like bubbling water. 

If women were easy to understand I would have married the first girl I dated.  Understanding your partner isnt about gender. It is about communication. 

Life is complicated for both genders and most of the time we get more rejection than we do acceptance.
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#32
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
What I meant was, if a girl you hit on is attracted to you, you'd know it. The OP asked her if she would help him study and she completely dodged the question. She stood around awkwardly and didn't smile until he was saying bye to leave. It's pretty clear she's not feeling it.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
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#33
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 7:41 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: What I meant was, if a girl you hit on is attracted to you, you'd know it. The OP asked her if she would help him study and she completely dodged the question. She stood around awkwardly and didn't smile until he was saying bye to leave. It's pretty clear she's not feeling it.

Um no. I can speak to that personally on a couple of occasions.

I had  a party in my basement as a teen. 20 people or so, and one of my friends came up to me and said, "That girl thinks you are attractive" I looked at him like he was nuts, or pulling a prank on me. The only way I knew it was when he introduced me to her and she made the first move and took my hand. We went to my room, and well, I think you can figure that out. It was only because she made the first move I knew.

And my X wife is actually the biggest example of not knowing. It took me forever (metaphorically speaking) to realize she was pursuing me. When I first met her I had no interest in dating her. 

We don't know why she reacted like that. Woman can be shy and attracted to you but not know how to react. My wife was hitting on me before I realized and I didn't know how to take it. When she repeatedly kept coming to me at first I really did not know what to think. I didn't want to push it because I didn't want to lose a friend. 

I think most of her reaction at this point is merely because she doesn't know him. I wouldn't recommend he turn the classroom into an attempt at 'The Bachelor". But "not feeling it" doesn't have to be fear or lack of attraction, but mere politeness. 

You may be right that she is not attracted to him, but it is too early. I wasn't looking to date my X when I first met her.
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#34
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 1, 2017 at 5:07 pm)spyrofannumber1 Wrote: I felt I did terrible in this instance. Could some people rate on a scale of 1-10 of how well I did? I would also like new suggestions of how to approach her again, or if I should wait. Thanks. Shy

Your op made me smile.  You've got more guts/tenacity than I do (10/10 in my book): if I was in your shoes, I probably would of called it quits when my backpack got caught on the chair.  Good luck, spyrofannumber1, and I hope you make the most out of your academic career; there's way more to it than smarts, studying, and going to class.











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#35
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 1:05 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:
(September 2, 2017 at 5:22 am)ignoramus Wrote: Too many variables to make that conclusion CL, at this early stage (for me).
If she's a stunner, why would she bother with him? She's either got a dude or knocked back 50 before him.
Maybe he looks like Herman the monster and nobody's told him and she's just being polite?

Maybe she's batting for the other team?
Maybe she can't be bothered with personal relationships so she can put all of her efforts onto her studies?

too many variables...
OP, what do YOU think is going on...? (did she notice your hardon? That's a turn off, you know?)

Girls aren't that complicated. If a guy i felt attracted to came up to me and asked me if I'd help him study, I'd say yes and of course be thrilled. I wouldn't have ignored it like she did. Men are pretty bad at taking a hint. Trust me, she's not interested. Sad

I like you, but that's bad advice.  Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you're an expert in women's feelings in general.

The rule is, if he's attracted to a girl, then he can approach her and keep testing the waters until it's crystal clear that he's not going to get anywhere.  I'd say a handshake and a smile is plenty to go on for first contact.  I also like that he used my method to talk to her.  That's one point for me! Big Grin

Also, don't discourage the boy.  All us old codgers are living vicariously through him-- if he gets laid, we ALL get laid.  Don't you dare virtual-cock-block us!

(September 1, 2017 at 5:07 pm)spyrofannumber1 Wrote: I felt I did terrible in this instance. Could some people rate on a scale of 1-10 of how well I did? I would also like new suggestions of how to approach her again, or if I should wait. Thanks. Shy

10/10
Absolutely. No question about it. You successfully established contact with a girl who was just walking down the street, and got her both to speak to you and to make physical contact. It doesn't matter if you're a bumbling fool-- the girl will know WHY you're bumbling, and she'll decide whether she wants to do something about it. But congrats, because you have just successfully interacted with a female human being!

Most important advice incoming.  Do this a LOT.  Don't pick your battles.  Don't wait for the perfect girl or the perfect chance.  Just walk around campus saying hi, asking questions, getting phone numbers.  Leave no stone unturned in your efforts to entertain us!  (err. . . I mean. . . find your soul mate). I mean. . . the worst that's likely to happen is that a girl will make some excuse and walk away from you. The best that's likely to happen is that you will find a wonderful girl, fall in love, have great sex, and post videos for us to critique. The imbalance between worst case and best case favors activity so strongly that there's really no reason not to just go for it.
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#36
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
In my experience, money seems to uncomplicate a lot of women quite nicely.

Unfortunately, those are not the ones I want for more than 24 hours.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#37
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 8:57 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: In my experience, money seems to uncomplicate a lot of women quite nicely.

Unfortunately, those are not the ones I want for more than 24 hours.

Being young and in college is a special case-- dollars definitely not required so long as you can do or say anything interesting.
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#38
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 7:41 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: What I meant was, if a girl you hit on is attracted to you, you'd know it. The OP asked her if she would help him study and she completely dodged the question. She stood around awkwardly and didn't smile until he was saying bye to leave. It's pretty clear she's not feeling it.

I agree, he was basically asking her to help him study and she told him to download an app, lol.
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#39
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 8:35 pm)bennyboy Wrote:
(September 2, 2017 at 1:05 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Girls aren't that complicated. If a guy i felt attracted to came up to me and asked me if I'd help him study, I'd say yes and of course be thrilled. I wouldn't have ignored it like she did. Men are pretty bad at taking a hint. Trust me, she's not interested. Sad

I like you, but that's bad advice.  Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you're an expert in women's feelings in general.

The rule is, if he's attracted to a girl, then he can approach her and keep testing the waters until it's crystal clear that he's not going to get anywhere.  I'd say a handshake and a smile is plenty to go on for first contact.  I also like that he used my method to talk to her.  That's one point for me! Big Grin

Also, don't discourage the boy.  All us old codgers are living vicariously through him-- if he gets laid, we ALL get laid.  Don't you dare virtual-cock-block us!

Meh, I don't need to be an expert. He asked her if she could help him study and she dodged the question.

He can keep trying if he wants, of course. The updates are fun.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
Reply
#40
RE: [Update 1] of (So, I complimented this girl today...)
(September 2, 2017 at 5:22 am)ignoramus Wrote: Too many variables to make that conclusion CL, at this early stage (for me).
If she's a stunner, why would she bother with him? She's either got a dude or knocked back 50 before him.
Maybe he looks like Herman the monster and nobody's told him and she's just being polite?

This is interesting.  Some years back, there was a woman in my workplace who had competed in a Miss Italy competition and had performed quite well in it.  Now, for some reason, she had a crush on me, despite the fact that I'm not a physically appealing man: logically speaking, if we were to pair her off with a gentleman based on looks, you'd expect her to be interested in a very handsome man; however, IMO and based on my observations, such thinking is shortsighted.   Thus, IMO, it makes sense that there are many variables to account for when considering the phenomenon of romantic attraction.











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