Worst Pick Up Lines

[Edwardo Piet]

"You look doable. How much?"

[Cod]

Five more pints and I'm all yours

[Darinda]

One buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING.
However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well,
here it is:
* You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
* You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and,
pointing at you, says, "She's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
* You see a handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
* You see a guy at a party;
you straighten your dress.
You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I?" and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your
breast lightly against his arm,and then say, "By the way, I'm
fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
* You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.
* You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
* Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
* You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing, so you climb onto the roof
of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm
fantastic in bed!"
That's Junk Mail.
* You are at a party; this attractive older man walks up to you
and grabs your ass.
That's a former United States President.
You like it, but twenty years later
your attorney decides you were offended
and you are awarded a settlement.
* I heard that you are fantastic in bed, so
I'd like a few free samples -
That's Product testing.
* I spent the night with you and got infected.
That's called Customer dissatisfaction.
* I got caught screwing you and was shot at by your husband -
That's called Copyright protection.
* While I was screwing you, I saw this better-looking
chick who was much younger and jumped her -
That's called product upgrade.
* I heard that you were good in bed, but I also heard
that your younger sister was better in bed.
That's brand preference.
* You are dancing with this knockout, gorgeous woman with a
fantastic body and she tells you that she is fantastic in bed.
You leave the dance (Alone) and pick up a toothless, 60 year
old hooker off the street corner and shag her.
That's Generic Substitution.
* You go to a whore house and select a gorgeous female with
a fantastic body. She leads you upstairs and turns out the
lights. When you are finished, you flip on the lights and find
you have shagged an old, toothless Eskimo instead of the
gorgeous chick.
That is called "Bait and Switch."
Now, you have the equivalent of an MBA Degree

[Brian37]

'Hi! I'm senator Al Franken.'

Boru

Hello, I am President Covfefe.

[brewer]

I've never been with a human before.

[vorlon13]

Wanna fuck? Has worked just fine for me for decades.

[Little lunch]

Can I smell your pussy?
If she says no, you say, 'it must be your feet then.'

[Edwardo Piet]

"Excuse me but I couldn't help but notice that you are very pretty and I would love to date you. But I was also wondering whether you'd be up for ass to mouth on a first date?"

[Whateverist]

'Hi! I'm senator Al Franken.'

Boru

Why don't you take a nap.  While you're out I'll .. uh .. fluff your 'pillows'.

---

I can only think of one joke pick up line but it is pretty old and tired:

If I told you you had a wonderful body, would you hold it against me?

[Edwardo Piet]

"Hello I heard that you are not interested in having children. I have chlamydia so I was wondering if you'd like to have sex with me? If I make you infertile you won't need to worry about accidental pregnancy!"

I don't have chlamydia but if this pick up line doesn't work I don't know what will!