If you come to my house, you'd better like...

[Astreja]

What are your household "signature" items and quirks?  Here's what you can expect if you end up at my place:

• Random outbursts of clarinet playing, or perhaps saxophone or flute or piano; otherwise, an unusually quiet house, with no TV playing in the background and infrequent sounds from the phone or my clock radio.
  
• Dragons all over the house, plus a ginormous one on the front lawn.
  
• The scent of sesame oil, ginger and garlic pervading the entire house (except for the upstairs bathroom, which tends to smell more like roses).
  
• Cookbooks, astronomy magazines, and some random book on the dining room table.  (Currently the random book is The Art of War; before that, it was Naked Lunch.)
  
• Occasionally being awakened at 4:00 a.m. by the aroma of fresh baked goods or some pasta dish, because my daughter cooks at weird hours.
  
• Caches of building materials in odd places, like in the sewing room.
  

[Minimalist]

Dogs.

If you don't like dog hair on the furniture stay the fuck away.  They live here.  You don't.

[The Valkyrie]

Dogs.

If you don't like dog hair on the furniture stay the fuck away.  They live here.  You don't.

I’m the same with the cats.

A few years ago I had a visitor who chased one of the cats off the couch.

When I asked what she was doing she said, “I don’t like to see animals on the furniture.”

My response was that this is their house, not hers. They’re welcome to sit on the furniture. If you don’t like it, feel free to fuck off.

[KevinM1]

Me not letting you in if you show up unannounced. In my experience, "Oh, I just wanted to drop by" = "I'm bored and want you to drop everything and entertain me." Homie don't play dat.

[Astreja]

Me not letting you in if you show up unannounced.  In my experience, "Oh, I just wanted to drop by" = "I'm bored and want you to drop everything and entertain me."  Homie don't play dat.

That's hardcore. Visitors here are sufficiently infrequent that I generally do let them in and put on the tea kettle.

[Crossless2.0]

In my home, you have to be prepared for dogs and all that entails, as well as my wife, who will insinuate herself into whatever petty drama you may be going through in addition to over-sharing her own.

If that is too much, you’d best steer clear.

[zebo-the-fat]

What are your household "signature" items and quirks?  Here's what you can expect if you end up at my place:

• Random outbursts of clarinet playing, or perhaps saxophone or flute or piano; otherwise, an unusually quiet house, with no TV playing in the background and infrequent sounds from the phone or my clock radio.
  
• Dragons all over the house, plus a ginormous one on the front lawn.
  
• The scent of sesame oil, ginger and garlic pervading the entire house (except for the upstairs bathroom, which tends to smell more like roses).
  
• Cookbooks, astronomy magazines, and some random book on the dining room table.  (Currently the random book is The Art of War; before that, it was Naked Lunch.)
  
• Occasionally being awakened at 4:00 a.m. by the aroma of fresh baked goods or some pasta dish, because my daughter cooks at weird hours.
  
• Caches of building materials in odd places, like in the sewing room.
  

Sounds good to me, when can I come?  

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

-Irish folk music as background

-Heavy wood furniture, overstuffed furniture (fuck you, Ikea)

-The smell of something or other baking

-Wall decorations that tend towards classic film posters and musical instruments

-Upon your arrival, one cat.  If you stay more than 30 minutes, a second cat

-Various oddments that embarrass my wife, but that I am more than happy to explain to you

-Books literally everywhere

Boru

[Brian37]

If you come into my house, you better like beer, coconut rum, a cat with no mean bone in his body, horrible corny jokes, evolution, occasional shouting at my computer or the Skins.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Our Furry Overlords.