If you come to my house, you'd better like...

[Whateverist]

What are your household "signature" items and quirks?  Here's what you can expect if you end up at my place:

• Random outbursts of clarinet playing, or perhaps saxophone or flute or piano; otherwise, an unusually quiet house, with no TV playing in the background and infrequent sounds from the phone or my clock radio.
  
• Dragons all over the house, plus a ginormous one on the front lawn.
  
• The scent of sesame oil, ginger and garlic pervading the entire house (except for the upstairs bathroom, which tends to smell more like roses).
  
• Cookbooks, astronomy magazines, and some random book on the dining room table.  (Currently the random book is The Art of War; before that, it was Naked Lunch.)
  
• Occasionally being awakened at 4:00 a.m. by the aroma of fresh baked goods or some pasta dish, because my daughter cooks at weird hours.
  
• Caches of building materials in odd places, like in the sewing room.
  

Sounds good to me, when can I come?  

Are you really going to let a woman tell you when can come?

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Yeah, I know.  I couldn't resist.  Tried though.

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But to answer in kind ..

What you can expect if you come to my house is decor that suggests the people who live here don't really think much about that.  This is home base for doing stuff, but is not the focus of what we do.  Also it is rough because it is a big dingy warehouse built crudely a long time ago of shit materials.  Stairs are not uniform and there may not be one surface that is either level or plumb in the entire place.  

The dogs contribute hair and whatever they may track in from outside.  The big one will be eager for your physical affection but steer clear of the little guy.  He will want to sniff you but will regard you with suspicion if you reach in his direction.  If you come around often he may warm up to you, but he'll never really appreciate your petting him.  It is something he endures from those he likes or finds useful.

[Brian37]

Our Furry Overlords.

DAMNED SKIPPY!

My favorite part of the day is around 5am, when I shift my body in my bed, facing the wall waiting for my cat to kneed me to wake me up asking for breakfast. He knows I am not asleep, but I make him do it a few times before I get up to feed him. IT IS SOOOOOOOOO FUCKING CUTE.

[Crossless2.0]

Our Furry Overlords.

DAMNED SKIPPY!

My favorite part of the day is around 5am, when I shift my body in my bed, facing the wall waiting for my cat to kneed me to wake me up asking for breakfast. He knows I am not asleep, but I make him do it a few times before I get up to feed him. IT IS SOOOOOOOOO FUCKING CUTE.

My pit bull does something similar. It was cute as hell when she was smaller. Now it feels like being awakened by someone performing chest compressions.

[The Valkyrie]

Our Furry Overlords.

When I’m at work I frequently get asked how the furry whanau are.

Whanau is Maori for “family”.

[KevinM1]

Me not letting you in if you show up unannounced.  In my experience, "Oh, I just wanted to drop by" = "I'm bored and want you to drop everything and entertain me."  Homie don't play dat.

That's hardcore. Visitors here are sufficiently infrequent that I generally do let them in and put on the tea kettle.

*shrug* I just find it incredibly rude. If someone wants to hang out with me, or go out and do something with me, that's totally fine. We can make plans. But, my alone time is precious to me, and I don't tolerate unplanned, unannounced incursions into it.

[Brian37]

DAMNED SKIPPY!

My favorite part of the day is around 5am, when I shift my body in my bed, facing the wall waiting for my cat to kneed me to wake me up asking for breakfast. He knows I am not asleep, but I make him do it a few times before I get up to feed him. IT IS SOOOOOOOOO FUCKING CUTE.

My pit bull does something similar. It was cute as hell when she was smaller. Now it feels like being awakened by someone performing chest compressions.

Even in play those dogs have damned strong jaws. I feel the same about that breed as I do feel sorry for Sigfreid and Roy and the tiger that bit Roy's neck. They will argue that the tiger didn't mean it. 

I am sure you do your best to keep your pet happy and are trying to train it to be not aggressive but there still is something to be said for breed and genes.

You just said it yourself, animals can be cute when small, but you talk about chest compressions, I'd worry more about the PSI of it's jaws, even in play.

But to be fair, latchkey owners, not talking about you. 

One thing I have always hated outside of breed, are the assholes who let their dogs roam around the neighborhood. I just had a couple move in on the next street over who do just that. Now, I have observed that they are pretty tame and when I tell them to go home, the dogs do leave. But they have come into my yard and even dug into my trash.. 

No I will not harm them, because I know them. But, these owners are FUCKING ASSHOLES because someone else who may in the future run into them not know that, and end up kicking or punching the dogs, and I wouldn't blame them. Not because the dogs deserve it, but because if you don't know the animal and it is  barking at you, it is reasonable to to assume aggression.

[Joods]

You'll get greeted by my cats. If you sit on the couch, Ebby will own your lap and Lece will stare at you most of the time.

The TV stays on all the time, even when we are gone. It keeps the cats company.

There may or may not be dishes in the sink.
There's usually stuff all over the kitchen table.
We have one couch that seats three people. Everyone else can sit on the floor.
I don't usually go out. I prefer the comfort of my own home.
We like playing cards.
5 cats and the "lived in" look because after years of trying to stay organized and being the only person in the house to maintain it, I gave up. I make only one apology for the state of my house and that's on your first visit. After that, what you see is what you get.

You'll leave with a large jar of homemade pasta sauce and no - you cannot take any of my kitties with you.

[Crossless2.0]

My pit bull does something similar. It was cute as hell when she was smaller. Now it feels like being awakened by someone performing chest compressions.

Even in play those dogs have damned strong jaws. I feel the same about that breed as I do feel sorry for Sigfreid and Roy and the tiger that bit Roy's neck. They will argue that the tiger didn't mean it. 

I am sure you do your best to keep your pet happy and are trying to train it to be not aggressive but there still is something to be said for breed and genes.

You just said it yourself, animals can be cute when small, but you talk about chest compressions, I'd worry more about the PSI of it's jaws, even in play.

But to be fair, latchkey owners, not talking about you. 

One thing I have always hated outside of breed, are the assholes who let their dogs roam around the neighborhood. I just had a couple move in on the next street over who do just that. Now, I have observed that they are pretty tame and when I tell them to go home, the dogs do leave. But they have come into my yard and even dug into my trash.. 

No I will not harm them, because I know them. But, these owners are FUCKING ASSHOLES because someone else who may in the future run into them not know that, and end up kicking or punching the dogs, and I wouldn't blame them. Not because the dogs deserve it, but because if you don't know the animal and it is  barking at you, it is reasonable to to assume aggression.

Oh, my girls are sweet as pie.

Just don’t fuck with their Mom and Dad. That probably wouldn’t go well.

[Brian37]

You'll get greeted by my cats. If you sit on the couch, Ebby will own your lap and Lece will stare at you most of the time.

The TV stays on all the time, even when we are gone. It keeps the cats company.

There may or may not be dishes in the sink.
There's usually stuff all over the kitchen table.
We have one couch that seats three people. Everyone else can sit on the floor.
I don't usually go out. I prefer the comfort of my own home.
We like playing cards.
5 cats and the "lived in" look because after years of trying to stay organized and being the only person in the house to maintain it, I gave up. I make only one apology for the state of my house and that's on your first visit. After that, what you see is what you get.

You'll leave with a large jar of homemade pasta sauce and no - you cannot take any of my kitties with you.

There is nothing more enjoyable than being attacked by friendly cats. Not tigers or lions, but domestic house cats.

[Joods]

Oh, they won't attack... Just own a lap and make you their staff.