How to get out of going to church?

[Anomalocaris]

Well, I personally ended up not going to church on Christmas Eve because my mother was sick and I was coming down with a head cold (which I still have today); although, there is a part of me that wishes I did go, if only because I had trouble sleeping Christmas Eve and the service would at least have bored me enough to help facilitate sleep (for the record, my family is Lutheran.)

I respect more kids who tell their teachers that the homework was bullshit than those who tells their teacher that the dog ate their homework.

[DiRNiS]

Tell them you have more productive things to do with your time than listen to a load of horseshit. Seriously, why should it be so hard for young people to tell their parents they don't believe in bullshit fairy tales?

[Minimalist]

Because the parents have been brainwashed.

[thesummerqueen]

Seriously, why should it be so hard for young people to tell their parents they don't believe in bullshit fairy tales?

I'd rather go to synagogue on occasion with my mother and spend the entire service with my mind on an entirely different planet than deal with the world of shit it would incur with her and the rest of the family. They already know I don't really care as much as they do, but to keep the family peace I'll carve out the occasional 3 hours in one of my visits to keep them all placated.

Of course, I live 300 miles away from the nearest family member - mmm88's situation might be different. My lapsed Catholic friend divides his time between making sarcastic commentary and spacing out, and my main squeeze amuses himself (he manages to only have to go for a funeral or wedding) by occasionally making rimshot noises.

[Anomalocaris]

Seriously, why should it be so hard for young people to tell their parents they don't believe in bullshit fairy tales?

I'd rather go to synagogue on occasion with my mother and spend the entire service with my mind on an entirely different planet than deal with the world of shit it would incur with her and the rest of the family. They already know I don't really care as much as they do, but to keep the family peace I'll carve out the occasional 3 hours in one of my visits to keep them all placated.

The world of shit will pass. The three hours is forever.

[thesummerqueen]

The world of shit will happen pass. The three hours is forever.

You've obviously never dealt with the eternal grudge of a Jewish mother.

[Anomalocaris]

The world of shit will happen pass. The three hours is forever.

You've obviously never dealt with the eternal grudge of a Jewish mother.

In the end your mother will love you more than Yahwah, and she will forgive you.

[Minimalist]

The world of shit will happen pass. The three hours is forever.

You've obviously never dealt with the eternal grudge of a Jewish mother.

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping centre talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.

Sadie says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother."

Minnie says,"You call that love? You know the Mercedes I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll."

Shirley says "That's nothing. You know my son Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst in Harley Street. Five session a week. And what does he talk about? Me."

[Anomalocaris]

The world of shit will happen pass. The three hours is forever.

You've obviously never dealt with the eternal grudge of a Jewish mother.

Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench in Brent Cross shopping centre talking about (what else?) how much their sons love them.

Sadie says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is and how much he loves his mother."

Minnie says,"You call that love? You know the Mercedes I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll."

Shirley says "That's nothing. You know my son Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst in Harley Street. Five session a week. And what does he talk about? Me."

In that case, her mother ought to be proud of SQ because instead of devoting just 3 hours to humoring her mother by pretending to be religious, she now annoys her mother full-time by being atheist.

[Minimalist]

I worked with a Jewish guy for 25 years and while his mom was alive she kept a kosher kitchen. When we'd go out for lunch he would invariably order fresh ham.

I never missed a chance to point out that I could blackmail him forever were I so inclined!


Funny story. He told me of a summer barbeque with the relatives in which they served kosher steaks. He described this as a lovely piece of meat that they cooked until it had the consistency and taste of shoe leather.
He slipped a piece to the dog. When he tried to give the dog a second piece the dog walked away.

I love the honesty of dogs.