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I have this question for years. I made posts before about things I dislike about him. He has also done nice things for me. I'm satisfied with his financial support and he always invested in my education. When he's (mostly) calm, he treats non and me peacefully. He's also pretty skilled at maths and physics. And I do believe that he loves me, even if he sometimes can't handle his emotions and acts like a dick. He is very anxious and there are many times when he doesn't attack anyone, but his negativity is still very annoying.
However, I don't feel like I generally respect them.
I never try to change my emotions about something or someone. I analyse things and let emotions come for themselves. This might be how (most) humans handle things.
I never told anyone in person that I don't know whenever I love dad or not, but my mom told me, that you should see the majority of one's personality. She said, that he has usually good intentions and does have qualities, therefore he's mostly good. However, there were times when she said she felt like leaving him. She told me once that she didn't left, because of financial matters, the fact that he does have qualities and he didn't have an easy past.
I'm trying to look at things as objective as possible, but I still can't find an answer.
His dad was and still is a bigger dick. I understand that it's hard not to be influenced by your parents, but this doesn't justify my dad's behavior. He dislikes his father, so why isn't he trying harder not to be like him? I'm not expecting him to be always nice or to never loose control, but I would like if he at least tried not to insult us. If he at least tried to be reasonable. His sister (my aunt) doesn't have this problem. Why is she able, but he not?
His mom and many other relatives died when he was a young adult. He has every right to be sad about it, but how can this turned mean to us?
So do I love him? I certainly have mixed feelings, but what are the strongest feelings? Do I incline more to disliking him, and it's hard for me to accept it? Am I somewhere in the middle?
Oh hells no. Time to make him your bottom bitch!!!
But seriously, how can any of us come close to answering that?
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
