Assuming a Gender Identity

[Acrobat]

So, is my husband non-binary now because he likes rom-coms, talks about his feelings,  and doesn’t know shit about cars?  I feel like you’re setting the bar really low.

A number of people here have suggested this, that I'm using a low bar to define myself as non-binary, but no one seems to suggest any real criteria to define where that line begins, or where I drew the line for myself is inaccurate. 

Maybe a single thing you share in common with traditional females, like a preference for rom-coms isn't sufficient, but several, or multitude of additional things is.

[Yonadav]

So, is my husband non-binary now because he likes rom-coms, talks about his feelings,  and doesn’t know shit about cars?  I feel like you’re setting the bar really low.

Who sets the bar? Acrobat? You? Your husband? Me? If your husband says that he self-identifies as non-binary would you accept that he is non-binary, or would you tell him that he is only non-binary if you or your accepted authority on the matter says that he is non-binary?

I admit that I am sometimes concerned about non-binary people junking up trans issues.  But I avoid confronting them about it because I figure that non-binary self-identity is probably a real thing, and that non-binary people have real issues that they have to deal with in their daily lives, and I don't want to impose my perspective on them.  Trans people have a lot of experience with navigating the conflicting interests of people from different parts of the gender spectrum. For example, there has always been tension between the transsexual community and the drag community. Many transsexuals, including myself, are not even comfortable with the term 'transsexual community' because there isn't really any such thing. Transsexuals don't hang out together. We don't form communities. A lot of us view drag as being misrepresentative of us, and we sometimes call it blackface. 

But we don't get very public about it. We don't want the public to take sides, because that would end up with each side persecuting the other. We don't want to invite the trouble.  The drag community has sometimes been there for us. Despite internal tension, we know that we probably can't exist without each other. Transsexuals, drag queens, cross dressers, and non-binaries don't agree with each other about a lot of very substantial things. But we keep it quiet and accept each other basically because non of us can invalidate any of the others without inviting the same upon ourselves. Despite our differences, we need each other.

[EgoDeath]

You seem to be unhealthily obsessed with this subject. I can't tell if you're actually a non-binary person (if I'm using the term correctly) or if you're using all of this rhetorically to make some weird point. And while you're free to discuss anything you want here on this forum (so long as you're following forum rules), if you're this focused on this part of your life you should probably talk to a professional about it, or try your luck on an LGBT forum with a much more informed community than what we have here. While I'm sure there are LGBT members on this forum, you'd probably have better luck talking to those members directly, if you know who they are, than to keep making threads about this where you just seem to be trying to debate with people.

No one seems to be giving you the answers you need/want to hear, so I'm confused as to why you keep bringing this up. You've proven yourself to be pretty intellectually disingenuous in other threads on this forum, so excuse me for being a bit suspicious. I totally support LGBT people and would consider myself an ally (for whatever that's worth, obviously) but you seem to be really wound up on this subject. I highly suggest talking to a professional therapist that specializes in these types of issues or discussing this issue on an LGBT forum. Just a piece of advice. Good luck to you.

[ignoramus]

It’s outside of cisnormality, aspects associated traditionally with one gender over the other, the fact that I share a combination of these aspects among both genders, is why I identify as non-binary.

I also feel more comfortable with woman then men, I enjoy cooking like my female friends do, romantic comedies, fashion, aesthetics, being open about my feelings, being nurturing to my children,  aspects often associsted with traditional female gender roles, while at the same time enjoy being assertive, the roughy rugged look, toughness, aggression, facial hair, etc.. associated with the traditional male identify.

Wow... Don't you sound like an insufferable narcissistic twit...


I guess I must be non-binary as well. I never cared much for sports, or cars, I enjoy cooking so much I do it for a living, I'm most comfortable around women - especially when f*cking,  I don't own a couch, or a TV, I don't like beer and I throw away my underpants, when they have holes in them. At the same time - I have facial hair, I look very "roughy", and I'm assertive enough fart loudly, ot to call people out on their bullsh*t.

So, what do I do now? Do I need a new passport? Do I have to update my Tinder profile. Do I get to use whichever bathroom I like? Does that include toilets for the disabled, or do I have to be non-bipedal for that?...

HM, you are fucking hilarious! again.
I might try your suggestion though. To use the cleaner/larger disabled rest rooms at the shopping center on the grounds of being an atheist.
You see, I identify as "spiritually" disabled!

[Acrobat]

You seem to be unhealthily obsessed with this subject. I can't tell if you're actually a non-binary person (if I'm using the term correctly) or if you're using all of this rhetorically to make some weird point. And while you're free to discuss anything you want here on this forum (so long as you're following forum rules), if you're this focused on this part of your life you should probably talk to a professional about it, or try your luck on an LGBT forum with a much more informed community than what we have here. While I'm sure there are LGBT members on this forum, you'd probably have better luck talking to those members directly, if you know who they are, than to keep making threads about this where you just seem to be trying to debate with people.

No one seems to be giving you the answers you need/want to hear, so I'm confused as to why you keep bringing this up. You've proven yourself to be pretty intellectually disingenuous in other threads on this forum, so excuse me for being a bit suspicious. I totally support LGBT people and would consider myself an ally (for whatever that's worth, obviously) but you seem to be really wound up on this subject. I highly suggest talking to a professional therapist that specializes in these types of issues or discussing this issue on an LGBT forum. Just a piece of advice. Good luck to you.

No, I'm not obsessed with this subject. I just find it interesting, perhaps more interesting that someone like yourself might. 

What I find interesting about it is something thats not exclusive to the LGBTQ community, but Gender Identity, even if one sees themselves as cisgender. What does it mean for anyone to identify as female or male, what are some of the components of this identity, since this question is separate from that of the status of our physical body. 

If I think of the male components of my identity, I think of my aggressiveness, assertiveness, the draw of a patriarchal family structures, preference for an appearance that's rugged and "manly" and not dainty or pretty. But I can also think of competing elements traditionally associated with females that i also posses, hence why I'm inclined to see my self as non-binary. 

I'm comfortable enough to say it doesn't matter to me one way or the other if I'm cisgender or non-binary, so I don't actively feel the need to make that distinction for the most part. But if I try and contemplate the meanings of these things, what label best fits me, I think it's non-binary. 

But at the same time, others here express doubts, and skepticism, that I am not using the label appropriately, though I have been honest about my history, and components that lead me to this conclusion. I don't care so much what you think of me personally. I think it's interesting to hear people express what they think gender identity is. Doing so from the perspective of my non-binary status, is good conduit in my view. 

And contrary to what you believe, I'm not looking for any specific answers, just in the discussion itself. 

 You've proven yourself to be pretty intellectually disingenuous  in other threads on this forum, so excuse me for being a bit suspicious. 

I don't think I've been disingenuous, if you think I have in other threads please let me know why you think that. I know that people have a tendency to see people that strong disagree with their views, or are critical of their beliefs as disingenuous. I mean how many apologist, religious debaters, don't get accused of being dishonest by atheists?