Assuming a Gender Identity

[Acrobat]

The other day my wife was trying on clothes at a department store fitting room, and she wanted my opinion.

The sales person had come up to me and said: “You are not allowed in here”, because men are not allowed in the fitting room.

Oddly the dept store chain has indicated that they don’t discriminate against people’s gender identities, that people are able to use the fitting rooms of the gender they identify as.

At the same time it seems terribly inappropriate for fitting room staff/etc. to ask a person what gender they identify as, whether I’m a cisgender male, non-binary, transgender, etc..

I should be able to enter which ever fitting room I want to, without being questioned, or having my gender assumed, and it seems to me that it’s discrimination otherwise.

The argument seems to primarily be one where you should be able to use the rest room/ fitting room/ changing room of the gender you identify with, when it seems to be that the argument should be for unisex, genderless rooms.

thoughts?

[I_am_not_mafia]

You were presenting yourself as a man and were in a woman's changing room.

[Acrobat]

You were presenting yourself as a man and were in a woman's changing room.

How do I “present” myself as a man, as opposed to non-binary?

It’s okay to assume my gender by my facial hair, and clothes I wear? Particularly for the sake of saying that I can’t use x room, because of your assumption based on my appearance.

[I_am_not_mafia]

You were presenting yourself as a man and were in a woman's changing room.

How do I “present” myself as a man, as opposed to non-binary?

It’s okay to assume my gender by my facial hair, and clothes I wear? Particularly for the sake of saying that I can’t use x room, because of your assumption based on my appearance.

You're just spoiling for a fight aren't you. Yet another attack by Americans on personal identity to make sure that everyone conforms.

If you can't recognise people who present themselves as men and people who present themselves as women then there's no hope for you.

The shop assistant treated you the same as if you were a transman for example. It all came down to how you presented yourself.

There's nothing else to it.

Now if you were wearing a dress and trying to present yourself as a woman she may well have let you stay.

As for being non-binary, were you presenting yourself as non-binary?

[Acrobat]

You're just spoiling for a fight aren't you. Yet another attack by Americans on personal identity to make sure that everyone conforms.

It’s the exact opposite, I don’t care what restroom/fitting room etc.. that anyone uses. And actually like the idea of unisex rooms. So it not an argument for gender normative rooms, in disguise.

If you can't recognise people who present themselves as men and people who present themselves as women then there's no hope for you.

The shop assistant treated you the same as if you were a transman for example. It all came down to how you presented yourself.

But where does that leave non-binary, or trans people that might not dress according to the norm of the gender they identify with, for whatever reason? Should it be acceptable to question them? It seems to me that it’s none of your Buisness, and I shouldn’t have to tell anyone my gender identify, unless I wanted to.

There's nothing else to it.

Now if you were wearing a dress and trying to present yourself as a woman she may well have let you stay.

I believe I identify as non-binary, because there are certain aspects of traditional male/female identical, which I share, and don’t share with each, such as a disinterest in sports, a interest in aesthetics, open to discussing my feelings, over stoicism, enjoying cooking, etc.

[brewer]

[Acrobat]

As for being non-binary, were you presenting yourself as non-binary?

I don’t even know what that means, how am I suppose to present myself as non-binary? Is there some standard uniform I’m supposed to wear?

Did I tell her I’m non-binary, no, because it’s none of her damn business.

[Little lunch]

I can imagine that if someone looks and acts like a female or vice versa, then it would be uncomfortable to walk into a toilet or dressing room that is designated for the opposite of how they look and act.
That being said, if a man walks into a female toilet or dressing room while my daughter is in there, he won't be walking out.

[The Grand Nudger]

I should be able to enter which ever fitting room I want to, without being questioned, or having my gender assumed, and it seems to me that it’s discrimination otherwise.

It's interesting that you feel that way, but it's not discrimination.  It's called an unfortunate mistake, which happens to binary cis folks as well..and only becomes harassment or discrimination if borish assholery follows the initial misapprehension.

The argument seems to primarily be one where you should be able to use the rest room/ fitting room/ changing room of the gender you identify with, when it seems to be that the argument should be for unisex, genderless rooms.

thoughts?

It's not as if we have to choose, we can have both, they're rooms..we make them on demand! 

Put frankly, there's no law against assuming a persons gender, and that simple assumption falls well below the bar of discrimination regardless of it's accuracy.

[I_am_not_mafia]

I haven't heard of any trans people ever demanding that people should somehow know their gender identity when they don't at least try presenting themselves in a way that is consistent with it. Sounds like a strawman argument from the OP.