Translating Theistic Words

[The Valkyrie]

This is the thread where you can post words said by theists and translate them into what you think was really meant.

I'll start.

"I'll pray for you!" (Christianese). Often stated at the end of a discussion/debate/argument when the Christian knows he's losing.

Translation: "Fuck you!"

[Sal]

"God works in mysterious ways." (General theism) used for when a theist doesn't know when or how shit goes down.

Translation: "OK, that's embarrassingly invalidating of my god's lack of action, but let's ignore that."

[Cod]

"It's all part of Gods plan." Used to explain away various disasters and injustices.

Translation: I have no excuse for his incompetence.

[possibletarian]

''You're angry at god''

I don't really know how to answer your question

[brewer]

"It's a miracle."

translates to

"I've been programmed not to think."

[Sal]

"It's a sin." (Abrahamic religions) An arbitrary rule violation.

Translation: "I've been led to believe it's wrong whatever you're doing, just because."

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Original sin = 'You had nothing to do with it, but I'm going to punish you for it all the same.'

Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy = 'There's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning.'

Render unto Caesar those things which are Caesars and unto the Lord those things which are the Lord's = 'GIMMIE THAT, IT'S MINE!!'

Transubstantiation = 'Fuxxake, how gullible can you get?'

Redemption/Forgiveness = 'You'll never, ever be good enough.'

Boru