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[Serious] How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
#1
How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
Just a little background: when I was 17 I did something very stupid. I stole about $900 from someone. It was such a dark and miserable summer. I still remember the very day I got busted. July 6, 2011. I have never seen my parents so angry at me, including my mother. I was grounded for an entire month, got literally everything taken away from me. I lost all my privileges, understandably. I, however, did get a job the following month and paid restitution.  It was really dumb. I wasn't thinking, I was being incredibly stupid. However, 9 years later and things are going great. I have a very close relationship with my parents and even the person I stole from. I am a very honest person and very kind. However, while I did pay for my iniquities, to this day this haunts me. I hate knowing it happened and that I made such a stupid mistake. I try not to think about it very much either. I get it, I was 17. I was fucking stupid! But still. I digress. 

Anyways, have you made a terrible mistake in the past? If so how did you heal from it?
Better there than here where all my stuff is


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#2
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
Did my time. Got time off for good behavior. It was decades ago, so it's ancient history.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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#3
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
(June 2, 2019 at 7:06 pm)Fireball Wrote: Did my time. Got time off for good behavior. It was decades ago, so it's ancient history.

What did you do?
Better there than here where all my stuff is


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#4
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
Yeah don't beat yourself with it: you did something stupid and you apologized and that person understands it; imagine all the people that don't apologize for the crap they do. I remember I once borrowed a RHCP record to some person who then, few days later, told me that he lost the vinyl somewhere in his house and that he can't find it, nor will he buy the new one. That person obviously lied, never admitted the lie nor apologized for it, needless to say that I'm not in a very good relations with that person.
So it's not the amount of money but respect you show to other people and you showed that you respected that person.
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#5
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
Yes iv'e made horrible mistakes some of those mistakes was me being a stupid ignorant kid and i regretted everything 
Some of those mistakes lead me into bad people and i got very hurt there are usually reasons why we do stupid things trauma or just inexperienced and then bam dumb mistakes happen, some of this is just apart of growing up. Put it like this if your friend forgives you then listen to your friend i understand its hard but you have to be willing to believe them when they say it's okay and they forgive you because you have to forgive yourself to start moving on. In these situation where somethings impacted you so badly sometimes seeking out a therapist to speak with may be another good idea.  
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this person has a very good channel on videos that may be helpful, i'm not sure what will help you so i'll just send the channel and hope something clicks.
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#6
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
I broke off all contact with my parents. There was no real reason why apart from the fact that I have come to realize that I don't form bonds like so-called, "normal" people do. My personal research has led me to believe I probably suffer from Asperger's Syndrome or something similar.

I don't sweat it from a moral standpoint. I am what I am. While I may lack empathy for most people, I do have a lot of empathy for animals. I have done a lot of work caring for stray cats and finding homes for kittens born to them.

Again, I am what I am. I wish I was better but I'm at peace for what I am.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein
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#7
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
I've been married four times.

It should have been three.
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#8
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
(June 2, 2019 at 7:10 pm)GODZILLA Wrote:
(June 2, 2019 at 7:06 pm)Fireball Wrote: Did my time. Got time off for good behavior. It was decades ago, so it's ancient history.

What did you do?

I was involved in a barroom brawl where some people got hurt. That's all you are going to get.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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#9
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
You get over you're past mistakes by accumulating so many that it becomes too hard to keep track of. :-)
Recognise that everyone makes mistakes all the time and if you're not beating all of them up about it, then don't do it to yourself.
I've never been caught stealing but I was once accused of it by my dad.
It's a shit feeling, especially when you can't convince them of your innocence.
Anyway, it's been nine years and you haven't reoffended, so you learnt your lesson well enough to take that crime that's been dangling over your head and throw it in the bin.




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#10
RE: How do you get over your past mistakes? [Please Don't judge me]
I've done some bad things. I like to look at past mistakes as data being fed into a loop. ie. Do something bad > Get caught > consequences > learning.
We can, and do, use this negative feedback loop to deter ourselves from doing it again. We want to prevent negative consequences. What usually happens for me (and from what I can read of your situation) is that we never change the negative loop to something positive. We keep not acting out of fear of not getting caught, instead of admitting that we were one way and we're not that way anymore and have learned. We don't appreciate the hurdles we have overcome by facing our problems and their consequences. I think it has something to do with the acceptance of who we are by accepting what we were and what we hope to become. I don't seem to have the time to fully articulate it here though. I'll probably write more on it when I have more time. This is a busy week though.

Seems like you're better because of it, so celebrate the positive transformation it caused instead of the fear and shame that you experienced then. Don't re-live the emotions of the experience when it happened, retrospect and celebrate in the now what it has done for you. </2 cents>
"There ought to be a term that would designate those who actually follow the teachings of Jesus, since the word 'Christian' has been largely divorced from those teachings, and so polluted by fundamentalists that it has come to connote their polar opposite: intolerance, vindictive hatred, and bigotry." -- Philip Stater, Huffington Post

always working on cleaning my windows- me regarding Johari
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