So that happened . . .

[Shell B]

I thought I'd start a thread where people tell stories about weird or funny shit that happened to them or in front of them. I'll start.

Tibs and I were outside pulling down trees so we can clear a spot to plant an oak. (Unhealthy, vine-choked trees.) All of a sudden, I hear "ah!" from Tibs. Not a second later, I felt as if I'd been punch-stabbed in the side. In that moment, I knew we were under attack. I let out a "fuck" that let Tibs know too. Soon, we were both running across our backyard without a thought for each other yelling, "Shit, fuck, ow, shit, fuck." By some miracle, we were each stung only once. I think it was a mutant wasp because I've been vacillating between purple and red in about a baseball-sized spot for five days now. Tibs his fine. He's apparently immune.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Signs and portents.

[Jackie]

I thought I'd start a thread where people tell stories about weird or funny shit that happened to them or in front of them. I'll start.

Tibs and I were outside pulling down trees so we can clear a spot to plant an oak. (Unhealthy, vine-choked trees.) All of a sudden, I hear "ah!" from Tibs. Not a second later, I felt as if I'd been punch-stabbed in the side. In that moment, I knew we were under attack. I let out a "fuck" that let Tibs know too. Soon, we were both running across our backyard without a thought for each other yelling, "Shit, fuck, ow, shit, fuck." By some miracle, we were each stung only once. I think it was a mutant wasp because I've been vacillating between purple and red in about a baseball-sized spot for five days now. Tibs his fine. He's apparently immune.

Ha ha

We humans think we are bad ass, but we are not.

Run over species of bees that nest in the ground with your lawn mower, they fucking let you know.

I ran over some yellow jackets, or what ever species that nests in the ground, with my lawn mower, they fucking let me know I was not welcome.

They chased me from one side of my house all the way to the  back door. I must have had a dozen stings by the time I closed my door, and even inside I had to kill a couple who made it in.

Bees do not fuck around.

[onlinebiker]

When I was 11 or 12 a neighbor kid brought over his new .410 shotgun he got for his birthday.

He decided to shoot at a big paper wasp nest high up in a weeping willow tree by the pond.

A million to one shot - the dumbass shot the branch - cutting it off clean - and the nest tumbled to the ground and broke open.

The wasps were pissed and went after the first thing they found - us.

The genius dropped his new shotgun and we both ran for and dived fully clothed into the pond.

We were in there for quite a while.

[Jackie]

When I was 11 or 12 a neighbor kid brought over his new .410 shotgun he got for his birthday.

He decided to shoot at a big paper wasp nest high up in a weeping willow tree by the pond.

A million to one shot - the dumbass shot the branch - cutting it off clean - and the nest tumbled to the ground and broke open.

The wasps were pissed and went after the first thing they found - us.

The genius dropped his new shotgun and we both ran for and dived fully clothed into the pond.

We were in there for quite a while.

And you wonder why I am for gun safety?

If you must know, prior to growing up and accepting that firearms were not toys, I would have been an idiot like that.

Keep in mind I am an idiot who shot a 22 rifle in the basement of a townhouse, and almost got shot by a cop while playing with a toy replica of a real firearm.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

And you wonder why I am for gun safety?

Oh, please! The adults gave the child a gun and ammo and sent him off unsupervised to shoot play with the neighbor kids. Nothing bad has ever happened in that scenario.

[Jackie]

And you wonder why I am for gun safety?

Oh, please! The adults gave the child a gun and ammo and sent him off unsupervised to shoot play with the neighbor kids. Nothing bad has ever happened in that scenario.  

But this thread is about bees, just don't fuck with bees, not with a glock, a 45 or 38 or AR-15....... THEY ARE FUCKING BEES!

Not even with fucking nunchucks.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Shell Bees?

[Jackie]

Shell Bees?

We could go the color joke route here.

The Patriots are the red white and blue. But the Steeler's are "Killer Bees".

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Shell Bees?

We could go the color joke route here.

The Patriots are the red white and blue. But the Steeler's are "Killer Bees".

And the Sacramento Bees are just losers.