Spanking?

[BrokenQuill92]

I'm reminded of a few biologists who took in wolf pups and tried to raise them as regular dogs in a documentary I saw years ago. While they were pups, it was easy, but once they reached adolescence they became unruly, aggressive, territorial and in all unmanageable by the biologists. They had to release them to other wolfs they had in their wolf park and familiarize them with other wolfs.

My point is that maybe the difference in raising kids, who tolerate and don't tolerate spanking is just in their biological makeup.

I think it’s more some people will be broken and compliant after a slap and then there’s me. Who will hit back twice as hard and the go on to make you miserable for spite. Yeah I was nightmare as a teen

[Shell B]

I disagree with spanking even on the level you're talking about, Gae, but I don't think that's severe enough to warrant actual opposition from me. Take one step over the line into abuse and I will fully smack a person in the head with a bat for hitting their kid, however. 

I don't think the kid would like that.
My dad beat the fuck out of me every day for years and years.
One day these two young dudes beat the fuck out of dad through the car window.
I remembered those dudes and a couple of years later I beat them both to pulps behind the pub.

I was worried that I'd be an abuser, like dad.
Well, I smacked her once in eight years, at the shopping centre.
I looked around to see if anyone else wanted a smack but there were no takers.

Anyway Shell, are you going to beat parents with a bat when you see their obese children?  :-) Just kidding.

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Also, I've never understood what is sexy about spanking between adults.
It's just seems fucking stupid.
Of course I've had to play the part before because it seems like most women love that shit.
Does nothing for me.

I agree. Abused children somehow still manage to side with their parents. I'll still defend them.

[GUBU]

So while recovering from my booby reduction I was staying with my family. My puppy Lizzy (Elizabeth Anne) was with me of course, and Liz being only 8 months at the time and a teacup (notoriously hard to potty train) had an accident on the rug. (Stupid rug was ugly anyway) Well anyways my mom decided to smack Liz with a house slipper. I of course said heck no to that bullshit and sent her to stay with my friends until I recovered. This lead into an argument about how when I have  kids  my parents are under no circumstances allowed to hit them. My mother growing up swatted me a few times (Daddy hated it and always tried to talk her out of it) and I don’t feel it better our mother daughter relationship or taught me anything other than people who are bigger will hurt you if don’t obey. Anyways, your thoughts on spanking?

Having spent the last two and a half years with child welfare cases, you are absolutely right to ban slapping or any other kind of hitting.

[arewethereyet]

I agree. Abused children somehow still manage to side with their parents. I'll still defend them.

In the last few years of dad's life as his health was a mess of epic proportions, one of us had to step up and oversee things.  Mom had thrown him out a few years before and taken nearly everything he had (but that a whole other issue).  So which on of us three kids was it going to be?

Of course my younger brother had all the legal rights to do things...what with being a man and all.   My sister and I were clearly not capable of such a task.  But, brother is a pansy ass who thought if he pretended everything was just spiffy then it would be and he could continue his unbothered life.

My sister harbored many of the same grievances against dad as I did though she suffered a lot loss physical abuse than I did.  

So...when shit got deep I was the one to step up.  I have to admit there were times when I had to grit my teeth to fight for better treatment for him when he had spent much of life treating me like a punching bag.  The thought crossed my mind now and then that he deserved every bit of pain and humiliation that came his way.  But I kept on and browbeat my brother to get off his ass and help now and then.  My sister finally stepped up and helped me quite a bit with dad's care.

Yeah...other than when I was a small child and very much daddy's girl, I had been the target of his rage and even learned to take a solid beating without a tear...cause tears pissed him off.  

I stood up for and protected one of my abusers with every tool I had.  There is still a part of me that remembers the brief time in my life where dad was my favorite person on the planet.

I advocated for him with issues with medical staff and hospitals.  I did it because it was the right thing to do.

My mother's day is coming and I have announced that I am not 'it' with her.  She was also physically abusive until she learned how to use dad as her weapon of choice against me.  She used to tape our mouths shut so she didn't have to listen to us talk.  She was verbally and emotionally abusive to a degree I can't even begin to describe other than to say that for me personally  - I knew I would probably heal from a beating, bruises would fade and broken bones would heal - but I still suffer from mom's words.  Many years ago I knew that I would rather take a beating from dad than more abuse from mom.  That and dad apologized quite sincerely before he died...mom didn't do anything wrong - just ask her and she'll tell you.

It's weird - maybe Stockholm syndrome that allows some of us who were abused to stand up for the abuser.

[Shell B]

I think it's decency that lets us stand up for abusers. Just because they abused you doesn't mean that you have to abandon your own instinct to care for other humans. It's very complex, and people who don't care for their abusers aren't bad people, but it's not a bad thing to step up to the plate.

I don't blame you for refusing to do it a second time around. You have siblings. Let them take care of it.