Can too much respect be bad?

[Fake Messiah]

C. The grantor's definition of what "respecting someone" means could also be flawed. If I respect some one so much that I'm willing to break my moral code then it's the wrong definition of respect.

But isn't that a vicious circle, considering that most (religious) people get their "moral code" from people they are supposed to respect?

And let's say a bishop or archbishop tells religious people to vote against gay marriage in some referendum and some religious people decide not to respect him, are they disrespecting him personally or the religious doctrine?

[EgoDeath]

Well, it depends on what we consider respect to be. I would argue that respect is a healthy observance of one's personal boundaries, along with a sense of endearment or admiration. Merriam-Webster defines respect in a few ways, with the common definition being number 3 on the list, "high or special regard: esteem".

So, I think a healthy observance of ones personal boundaries is almost never a bad thing, but the endearment and/or admiration part can certainly go way too far. Respect is almost always related to or equated with power, and often wrongly so. Think of the comment you made to your coworker about the company you work for that you would never say to your boss... People would argue that your boss is "respected," but are they really? Or is it the power dynamic that leads people to be more conscious about their actions and words around your boss?

If respect is related to honesty, then "respect" almost certainly goes too far with a great many people. Wouldn't you be honest with someone that you truly respect? In this sense, we don't really respect our bosses, or priests, or superiors, or whoever else, we're simply conscious of the power dynamic between us and them.

[tackattack]

C. The grantor's definition of what "respecting someone" means could also be flawed. If I respect some one so much that I'm willing to break my moral code then it's the wrong definition of respect.

But isn't that a vicious circle, considering that most (religious) people get their "moral code" from people they are supposed to respect?

And let's say a bishop or archbishop tells religious people to vote against gay marriage in some referendum and some religious people decide not to respect him, are they disrespecting him personally or the religious doctrine?

Well it certainly can lead to a vicious circle. Most religious people get their personal moral code the same way you do. Their belief though, typically include a checks and balances with an objective morality typically referred to as the Moral Law giver or God.

To answer your question the way you framed it, if they decide not to respect him, they're disrespecting him personally. If arguments ensue and it's proven his stance is based in doctrine and they still agree, then they disrespect that doctrine.

Well, it depends on what we consider respect to be. I would argue that respect is a healthy observance of one's personal boundaries, along with a sense of endearment or admiration. Merriam-Webster defines respect in a few ways, with the common definition being number 3 on the list, "high or special regard: esteem".

So, I think a healthy observance of ones personal boundaries is almost never a bad thing, but the endearment and/or admiration part can certainly go way too far. Respect is almost always related to or equated with power, and often wrongly so. Think of the comment you made to your coworker about the company you work for that you would never say to your boss... People would argue that your boss is "respected," but are they really? Or is it the power dynamic that leads people to be more conscious about their actions and words around your boss?

If respect is related to honesty, then "respect" almost certainly goes too far with a great many people. Wouldn't you be honest with someone that you truly respect? In this sense, we don't really respect our bosses, or priests, or superiors, or whoever else, we're simply conscious of the power dynamic between us and them.

I agree that relating respect to power is wrong. I personally hold a lot of people in very high respect, but they don't have any power over my decisions. They may influence those decisions and are weighted at a higher value than someone I don't respect, but with personal accountability in play, no more power than I give them. That's the crux, people only have power over you if you give them that power and jockeying for respect is a way to accumulate that power. Few sheeple realize that the control and influence limits exist solely within their control.

Interesting second point.I would be honest with people I respect and don't respect equally I think. I think we can be conscious of the power dynamic, empathetic to the results our words will have and awareness of the power dynamic for all three things simultaneously and separately. I don't think they're necessarily correlated in all instances. Commonly though they can be conflated.

[EgoDeath]

I agree that relating respect to power is wrong. I personally hold a lot of people in very high respect, but they don't have any power over my decisions. They may influence those decisions and are weighted at a higher value than someone I don't respect, but with personal accountability in play, no more power than I give them. That's the crux, people only have power over you if you give them that power and jockeying for respect is a way to accumulate that power. Few sheeple realize that the control and influence limits exist solely within their control.

Interesting second point.I would be honest with people I respect and don't respect equally I think. I think we can be conscious of the power dynamic, empathetic to the results our words will have and awareness of the power dynamic for all three things simultaneously and separately. I don't think they're necessarily correlated in all instances. Commonly though they can be conflated.

Well, like I said, it depends on whether or not one correlates respect with power. It sounds good to say you'd be willing to be as honest with your boss as you would be with your coworker, but I'm not sure how much I buy it, LOL.

[tackattack]

I may be a little looser with my decorum with my co worker than my boss. But there's not a joke I wouldn't tell to my coworker that I haven't told to my boss. There's not a status update or incident I've spoken with co workers about hat I haven't spoken to my boss about, even when the topic is my boss.

I think I tie respect to respecting another person's time. I respect my boss more than some people so I'm more frugal with his time and keep away from the frivolity I can be prone to. I don't consider that being less honest, just being a better steward of our time because of the respect. Same applies to other people in other areas of my life I respect. What do you correlate respect with?

[Shell B]

I think the automatic respect given to soldiers in the U.S. is troublesome. People and soldiers should be judged on their merit. While I agree that some of the best people who've given the most to others wore a uniform, I think the vast majority of soldiers are just normal people. Some of them are actually big, fat shitheads.

[EgoDeath]

I may be a little looser with my decorum with my co worker than my boss. But there's not a joke I wouldn't tell to my coworker that I haven't told to my boss. There's not a status update or incident I've spoken with co workers about hat I haven't spoken to my boss about, even when the topic is my boss.

I think I tie respect to respecting another person's time. I respect my boss more than some people so I'm more frugal with his time and keep away from the frivolity I can be prone to. I don't consider that being less honest, just being a better steward of our time because of the respect. Same applies to other people in other areas of my life I respect. What do you correlate respect with?

So, are there jokes you know that you wouldn't tell your coworker? Maybe the issue isn't that you withhold from your boss, but rather than you withhold from everyone. Unless you're sitting there at your computer trying to convince me that you are 100% yourself and 100% honest and direct with everyone you come into contact with, regardless of context, power dynamic, social pressures, and everything else.... in that case, you're certainly one unique human being. They should study you in a lab somewhere.

So, like I said, it sounds good, I just don't buy it.

As I said before, respect is, to me, observing someone's personal boundaries, honesty, and having a sense of admiration for that person. Granted, I think respect can, like almost anything else, exist on a spectrum. I would not say I respect my boss, so much as I understand the power dynamic between us. The reason I say this is I don't necessarily have any sense of admiration for my boss, nor am I necessarily honest with them all of the time. Nor do I feel I should be honest with them all of the time. Sometimes, honesty will hurt you more than it will help you; that's a simple fact of life. One that's unfortunate, in some ways, but true nonetheless.

I would say that I respect my bosses personal boundaries, in the same way I respect anyone else's personal  boundaries. I'm not going to shove someone out of my way at a supermarket, I'm simply going to say, "Excuse me," and walk around them.

[AFTT47]

I think the automatic respect given to soldiers in the U.S. is troublesome. People and soldiers should be judged on their merit. While I agree that some of the best people who've given the most to others wore a uniform, I think the vast majority of soldiers are just normal people. Some of them are actually big, fat shitheads.

Yup, a whole lot of them. I used to be one myself (a veteran in the USAF, not a shithead - though that's just like, my opinion, man) so I can confirm your suspicions.

Being in the armed services gives you an OPPORTUNITY to step up and be somebody special but most of us were/are just shitheads who just saw a good job opportunity and took it.

[LastPoet]

Yup, a whole lot of them. I used to be one myself (a veteran in the USAF, not a shithead - though that's just like, my opinion, man) so I can confirm your suspicions.

Being in the armed services gives you an OPPORTUNITY to step up and be somebody special but most of us were/are just shitheads who just saw a good job opportunity and took it.

I did boot camp as was mandatory at the time. In Portugal at the time men had to go. The basic stuff, but I didn't like standimg on parades, bah. Also, we are not at war, so I chose to drop out. Sometimes I regret it, as some of my friends made a mint in peacekeeping missions. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. But we here don't have the thing you call "respect the veterans". My uncle did combat in the sixties. He has stories, ofc.

[onlinebiker]

Respect is earned.


Believing in some invisible nefarious sky daddy (or even pretending to believe in one) really doesn't merit respect.


It baffles me that some people think it does.