I'm too sexy for my shirt.

[Brian37]

True story just happened today.

I have two main cab drivers I draw depending on time of day/shift. So, earlier this week I scheduled today for 11am. They all know I am flexible since I don't have a job, they know they can call me incase they need to adjust for other customers, and many times they will call me and say, "We cant get you at the time you requested, but we can do it at this time."  No big deal for me, I understand. So they fit me in when they can and I am fine with it. 

Today, somehow there was a miscommunication between day shift and night shift. The morning driver had to tell me I had to wait until 1pm, and I told her "fine". But sometimes in the past the morning driver will pass me off to the night shift which starts at 2pm. Also fine with that too. In a very rural area it isn't on demand like a big city which has plenty of drivers.

Ok so here is the gist of it. The morning driver picks me up, for my rounds, and shortly after the 2pm shift, she drops me off and I am removing my groceries about to go into my home, and the night shift driver pulls up into my driveway right behind her. I had two cabs in my driveway. I felt bad for the night shift driver. It was a misunderstanding between the two of them.

But I joked with both of them, "I had two women fighting over me" then I started singing, "I'm too sexy for my shirt."

[Angrboda]

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

[Fake Messiah]

True story just happened today.

I have two main cab drivers I draw depending on time of day/shift. So, earlier this week I scheduled today for 11am. They all know I am flexible since I don't have a job, they know they can call me incase they need to adjust for other customers, and many times they will call me and say, "We cant get you at the time you requested, but we can do it at this time."  No big deal for me, I understand. So they fit me in when they can and I am fine with it. 
[...]
But I joked with both of them, "I had two women fighting over me" then I started singing, "I'm too sexy for my shirt."

Sure, you are unemployed and women dig that because they like guys that stay at home all the time, and not some guys that get lost for hours, and they have to worry if he's getting drunk, getting a blowjob from a secretary, if he's coming back to mow the lawn, etc.

[Brian37]

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

He he, that was the point in posting this.

I had two women in my driveway, I am old as fuck, ugly as fuck, but still. 

But to be fair, these two ladies are middle aged like me, one has a boyfriend, the other is married, and both not women I would hit on in reality. Both wouldn't hit on me either. 

I was simply making fun of the fact they misunderstood each other which lead to them showing up to my house at the same time.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The Amazon River flows for thousands of miles, through some of the least explored places on Earth. Because the rock in some of these ultra-remote areas consists chiefly of porous limestone, the river water is able to seep through and - over thousands of years - form underground lakes and pools almost a mile below the surface. Life is ubiquitous. Even in an environment such as describe above, tiny, blind fish have been able to live in these pools. These fish have never seen the sun or the surface of our planet. They have never had contact with human beings.

---

These fish care more about Brian's story than I do.

---

Boru

[Brian37]

The Amazon River flows for thousands of miles, through some of the least explored places on Earth. Because the rock in some of these ultra-remote areas consists chiefly of porous limestone, the river water is able to seep through and - over thousands of years - form underground lakes and pools almost a mile below the surface. Life is ubiquitous. Even in an environment such as describe above, tiny, blind fish have been able to live in these pools. These fish have never seen the sun or the surface of our planet. They have never had contact with human beings.

---

These fish care more about Brian's story than I do.

---

Boru

Bu bu bu, I had two cabs in my driveway!

This is earth shattering news. I mean, this is stuff that brings peace to the world, and creates more ABBA fans.

The world needs more ABBA fans.

[brewer]

Did you have your teeth in?

[Brian37]

True story just happened today.

I have two main cab drivers I draw depending on time of day/shift. So, earlier this week I scheduled today for 11am. They all know I am flexible since I don't have a job, they know they can call me incase they need to adjust for other customers, and many times they will call me and say, "We cant get you at the time you requested, but we can do it at this time."  No big deal for me, I understand. So they fit me in when they can and I am fine with it. 
[...]
But I joked with both of them, "I had two women fighting over me" then I started singing, "I'm too sexy for my shirt."

Sure, you are unemployed and women dig that because they like guys that stay at home all the time, and not some guys that get lost for hours, and they have to worry if he's getting drunk, getting a blowjob from a secretary, if he's coming back to mow the lawn, etc.

---

Did you have your teeth in?

The few I still have. But no, I don't have dentures.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Sure, you are unemployed and women dig that because they like guys that stay at home all the time, and not some guys that get lost for hours, and they have to worry if he's getting drunk, getting a blowjob from a secretary, if he's coming back to mow the lawn, etc.

---

Did you have your teeth in?

The few I still have. But no, I don't have dentures.

There’s always hope, Brian. Some women actually prefer dad bods and bad teeth. Evidence:

‘Magic Mike’ worldwide gross: $167 million.
‘Shrek’ worldwide gross: $489 million.

Keep swinging.

Boru

[Brian37]

---

The few I still have. But no, I don't have dentures.

There’s always hope, Brian. Some women actually prefer dad bods and bad teeth. Evidence:

‘Magic Mike’ worldwide gross: $167 million.
‘Shrek’ worldwide gross: $489 million.

Keep swinging.

Boru

I love you dude. I love your intent, but I really am past my sell by date.