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Grandfather in poor health
#1
Grandfather in poor health
Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing good. My grandfather has been in poor health dealing with fluid on his lungs and it just gets worst. The doctor told him last week, that he is in the final stages of life. Everyone in my family right away you know, says start praying, that he can stay longer with us. For myself as many of you know, it just makes me angry, that all my family think their made up space character is going to do something for my grandpa. I just don't know really how to feel because I know death it's just a fact of life. My grandpa is 86, lived a good, but tough life. I know, it will be hard when he's gone.

He would always tell me you know 'god, helps with everything' I get mad at that,because you know he's not doing well, and if 'god' was so good, why isn't my grandpa healthy. You know, I've honestly wanted to call him and tell him that, though I haven't. I come here to tell you guys, only you know how it feels, when your the only atheist, in a room full of what seems like crazy people. I asked, my mom how he was doing, she said 'god is good, he is here another day' I know when all hope seems to be lost, people turn to faith, but for what, it seems just to make up a big lie to feel better.
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#2
RE: Grandfather in poor health
You basically answered yourself in the conclusion of your post.

It is called the comforting lie for a reason.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#3
RE: Grandfather in poor health
I hear ya.


Begging the guy who is ( supposedly) killing you hardly seems like a good idea.

It' s right up there with making deals with the mafia, paying kidnappers or negotiating with terrorists.
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#4
RE: Grandfather in poor health
If you care for your grandfather this is not the time for anger. It's time to show support and comfort, for gramps and the family.

There will be plenty of time for anger later.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#5
RE: Grandfather in poor health
(July 20, 2021 at 7:28 am)Tomatoshadow2 Wrote: Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing good. My grandfather has been in poor health dealing with fluid on his lungs and it just gets worst. The doctor told him last week, that he is in the final stages of life. Everyone in my family right away you know, says start praying, that he can stay longer with us. For myself as many of you know, it just makes me angry, that all my family think their made up space character is going to do something for my grandpa. I just don't know really how to feel because I know death it's just a fact of life. My grandpa is 86, lived a good, but tough life. I know, it will be hard when he's gone.

He would always tell me you know 'god, helps with everything' I get mad at that,because you know he's not doing well, and if 'god' was so good, why isn't my grandpa healthy. You know, I've honestly wanted to call him and tell him that, though I haven't. I come here to tell you guys, only you know how it feels, when your the only atheist, in a room full of what seems like crazy people. I asked, my mom how he was doing, she said 'god is good, he is here another day' I know when all hope seems to be lost, people turn to faith, but for what, it seems just to make up a big lie to feel better.

I watched my late mother take her last breath in a nursing home. Of course I screamed when that happened. Several staff rushed me out and took me to a conference room to console me. "God" "God" "God"........ It was everything I could do not to scream at them, especially knowing many of them knew I was an atheist. 

There is a double standard with theists. When we attend their funerals we are expected to keep our mouths shut during their mourning, and we do. But we cant express ourselves when it is us in time of crisis. After her body was taken to the funeral home, I came home and got online with other atheists and they completely understood and I was allowed to be myself.

Death is an unfortunate part of life. But yea, "God" is simply a comforting lie people convince themselves of. When the inevitable happens you can certainly come here and vent. It is always good to have others to lean on and talk to that understand you.

But as long as he is alive, just give him comfort without confrontation. I did the same with my mom. She was a lifetime Catholic. I never confronted her with religious debate when she was in decline.
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#6
RE: Grandfather in poor health
(July 20, 2021 at 7:28 am)Tomatoshadow2 Wrote: Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing good. My grandfather has been in poor health dealing with fluid on his lungs and it just gets worst. The doctor told him last week, that he is in the final stages of life. Everyone in my family right away you know, says start praying, that he can stay longer with us. For myself as many of you know, it just makes me angry, that all my family think their made up space character is going to do something for my grandpa. I just don't know really how to feel because I know death it's just a fact of life. My grandpa is 86, lived a good, but tough life. I know, it will be hard when he's gone.

He would always tell me you know 'god, helps with everything' I get mad at that,because you know he's not doing well, and if 'god' was so good, why isn't my grandpa healthy. You know, I've honestly wanted to call him and tell him that, though I haven't. I come here to tell you guys, only you know how it feels, when your the only atheist, in a room full of what seems like crazy people. I asked, my mom how he was doing, she said 'god is good, he is here another day' I know when all hope seems to be lost, people turn to faith, but for what, it seems just to make up a big lie to feel better.

It’s never easy to watch a loved one at the end of life. Condolences.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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#7
RE: Grandfather in poor health
(July 20, 2021 at 10:21 am)Brian37 Wrote:
(July 20, 2021 at 7:28 am)Tomatoshadow2 Wrote: Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing good. My grandfather has been in poor health dealing with fluid on his lungs and it just gets worst. The doctor told him last week, that he is in the final stages of life. Everyone in my family right away you know, says start praying, that he can stay longer with us. For myself as many of you know, it just makes me angry, that all my family think their made up space character is going to do something for my grandpa. I just don't know really how to feel because I know death it's just a fact of life. My grandpa is 86, lived a good, but tough life. I know, it will be hard when he's gone.

He would always tell me you know 'god, helps with everything' I get mad at that,because you know he's not doing well, and if 'god' was so good, why isn't my grandpa healthy. You know, I've honestly wanted to call him and tell him that, though I haven't. I come here to tell you guys, only you know how it feels, when your the only atheist, in a room full of what seems like crazy people. I asked, my mom how he was doing, she said 'god is good, he is here another day' I know when all hope seems to be lost, people turn to faith, but for what, it seems just to make up a big lie to feel better.

I watched my late mother take her last breath in a nursing home. Of course I screamed when that happened. Several staff rushed me out and took me to a conference room to console me. "God" "God" "God"........ It was everything I could do not to scream at them, especially knowing many of them knew I was an atheist. 

There is a double standard with theists. When we attend their funerals we are expected to keep our mouths shut during their mourning, and we do. But we cant express ourselves when it is us in time of crisis. After her body was taken to the funeral home, I came home and got online with other atheists and they completely understood and I was allowed to be myself.

Death is an unfortunate part of life. But yea, "God" is simply a comforting lie people convince themselves of. When the inevitable happens you can certainly come here and vent. It is always good to have others to lean on and talk to that understand you.

But as long as he is alive, just give him comfort without confrontation. I did the same with my mom. She was a lifetime Catholic. I never confronted her with religious debate when she was in decline.

Way to make it about you, you heartless prick.

Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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#8
RE: Grandfather in poor health
(July 20, 2021 at 7:28 am)Tomatoshadow2 Wrote: Hi everyone,

Hope you are all doing good. My grandfather has been in poor health dealing with fluid on his lungs and it just gets worst. The doctor told him last week, that he is in the final stages of life. Everyone in my family right away you know, says start praying, that he can stay longer with us. For myself as many of you know, it just makes me angry, that all my family think their made up space character is going to do something for my grandpa. I just don't know really how to feel because I know death it's just a fact of life. My grandpa is 86, lived a good, but tough life. I know, it will be hard when he's gone.

He would always tell me you know 'god, helps with everything' I get mad at that,because you know he's not doing well, and if 'god' was so good, why isn't my grandpa healthy. You know, I've honestly wanted to call him and tell him that, though I haven't. I come here to tell you guys, only you know how it feels, when your the only atheist, in a room full of what seems like crazy people. I asked, my mom how he was doing, she said 'god is good, he is here another day' I know when all hope seems to be lost, people turn to faith, but for what, it seems just to make up a big lie to feel better.

I'm sorry. It's a difficult thing to watch the end of someone's days. People handle this life event in very different ways.

The best thing to do is seethe at the comments in private or come here and blast away, we get it.
  
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
                                      
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#9
RE: Grandfather in poor health
I'm sorry to hear about his health. I'll likely be saying goodbye to my parents within a few years (or they could die suddenly).

Everyone creates a story for themselves that explains their purpose, and makes death bearable. All of them are going to be wrong (though some are more wrong than others). I'm fine with letting people live and die with whatever comforting myth they hold.
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#10
RE: Grandfather in poor health
People who don’t believe in resurrection are dealing with and processing a different event than people who do. I imagine that can be an isolating at a painful time and could lead to unspoken concern(s) at the worst possible moment. Sucks man. My dad died awhile back. I doubt it gets better, but it gets easier.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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