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Current time: January 20, 2022, 12:38 am

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[Serious] Therapy please
#1
Therapy please
So about 7 hours ago we had a power outage. Street lights, traffic signals, the whole nine yards.

So the whole neighbourhood was out on the street going "What the fudge".

Me and my neighbour shrugged and muddled on, pooled resources and adjourned to her place lighting candles as we go.

Having little else to do, we crack a bottle of vino, and have a hilarious time. By the time we get to the bleeding heart bit, we crack bottle 2 and I have to put on my therapist hat (yes, I am trained). She has a personal problem. There is a bloke that she has on/off flirted with for 30 years while wandering in and out of various relations since (one producing a sprog now aged 9) and a whole slew of collateral damage besides that you don't need to ask about. Should anyone ask, I will provide as much as possible without violating confidentiality.

Anyhoo, I crossed a therapy line and recommended her a route to progress. I know I should not do so, but I had no choice. We are on bottle 3 by now yet I still held it together. 

It's 4 am here, I am half cut, and I have no idea if I did the right thing.
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#2
RE: Therapy please
It seems to me that this wasn't a clinical setting but more two friends drinking wine and talking during an unusual power outage.

It's good that you are concerned. I would suggest not getting three bottles of wine in with someone who is spilling their guts about a personal issue. It may have been a time to make clear that you really can't offer therapy but are willing to listen as a friend.
                              It's like herding cats around here...feral cats, at that.                                                          
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#3
RE: Therapy please
(November 22, 2021 at 12:46 am)arewethereyet Wrote: It seems to me that this wasn't a clinical setting but more two friends drinking wine and talking during an unusual power outage.

It's good that you are concerned.  I would suggest not getting three bottles of wine in with someone who is spilling their guts about a personal issue.  It may have been a time to make clear that you really can't offer therapy but are willing to listen as a friend.

I did my best. We both acknowledged when I fell into therapy mode and laughed about it. I have no designs upon this women in a romantic sense. We did not hop in the sack or anything of that nature. Sure, she is attractive, and I am not spectacularly ugly either. But that was in no way any influence on either of us. 

It simply is not about that kind of thing. She is a saint, a solid friend and so on. I am not seeking to explore her panties. Nor vice versa.

I made the cardinal sin. I told her what she ought to do. I do not know how that will turn out, or whether I was right or wrong.

Sometime, I hope she will find her Prince Charming. Whoever that might be. But it ain't me. I will always remain her close friend. But there it ends. We both know that if we shacked up somehow, murder would occur. Not happening. 

I guess if she follows my advice, we will find out tomorrow. She will either follow it or not. I just do not know if it was right.
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#4
RE: Therapy please
(November 22, 2021 at 12:25 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote: So about 7 hours ago we had a power outage. Street lights, traffic signals, the whole nine yards.

So the whole neighbourhood was out on the street going "What the fudge".

Me and my neighbour shrugged and muddled on, pooled resources and adjourned to her place lighting candles as we go.

Having little else to do, we crack a bottle of vino, and have a hilarious time. By the time we get to the bleeding heart bit, we crack bottle 2 and I have to put on my therapist hat (yes, I am trained). She has a personal problem. There is a bloke that she has on/off flirted with for 30 years while wandering in and out of various relations since (one producing a sprog now aged 9) and a whole slew of collateral damage besides that you don't need to ask about. Should anyone ask, I will provide as much as possible without violating confidentiality.

Anyhoo, I crossed a therapy line and recommended her a route to progress. I know I should not do so, but I had no choice. We are on bottle 3 by now yet I still held it together. 

It's 4 am here, I am half cut, and I have no idea if I did the right thing.


Wot? Getting pissed and trying to counsel a person?    You're a trained counsellor? Umm, did that training provide a code of ethics by any chance? You're not sure if you did the right thing? Really.   See how you feel when you're sober.
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#5
RE: Therapy please
(November 22, 2021 at 3:15 am)Oldandeasilyconfused Wrote:
(November 22, 2021 at 12:25 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote: So about 7 hours ago we had a power outage. Street lights, traffic signals, the whole nine yards.

So the whole neighbourhood was out on the street going "What the fudge".

Me and my neighbour shrugged and muddled on, pooled resources and adjourned to her place lighting candles as we go.

Having little else to do, we crack a bottle of vino, and have a hilarious time. By the time we get to the bleeding heart bit, we crack bottle 2 and I have to put on my therapist hat (yes, I am trained). She has a personal problem. There is a bloke that she has on/off flirted with for 30 years while wandering in and out of various relations since (one producing a sprog now aged 9) and a whole slew of collateral damage besides that you don't need to ask about. Should anyone ask, I will provide as much as possible without violating confidentiality.

Anyhoo, I crossed a therapy line and recommended her a route to progress. I know I should not do so, but I had no choice. We are on bottle 3 by now yet I still held it together. 

It's 4 am here, I am half cut, and I have no idea if I did the right thing.


Wot? Getting pissed and trying to counsel a person?    You're a trained counsellor? Umm, did that training provide a code of ethics by any chance? You're not sure if you did the right thing? Really.   See how you feel when you're sober.

Why do you think I raised this thread. I am aware of the ethical issues. That is the very reason for it. 

I'm kinda surprised you couldn't work that out. But you are american, so perhaps not. One must have sympathy for the hard of thinking, I suppose.
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#6
RE: Therapy please
(November 24, 2021 at 11:44 pm)Abaddon_ire Wrote:
(November 22, 2021 at 3:15 am)Oldandeasilyconfused Wrote: Wot? Getting pissed and trying to counsel a person?    You're a trained counsellor? Umm, did that training provide a code of ethics by any chance? You're not sure if you did the right thing? Really.   See how you feel when you're sober.

Why do you think I raised this thread. I am aware of the ethical issues. That is the very reason for it. 

I'm kinda surprised you couldn't work that out. But you are american, so perhaps not. One must have sympathy for the hard of thinking, I suppose.

Oldandeasilyconfused lives in OZ. Nice dick move.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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#7
RE: Therapy please
It wasn't an official therapy session. It was two friends drinking wine, and friends are allowed to suggest courses of action to other friends.
[Image: mtfbwyf.jpg]
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#8
RE: Therapy please
(November 25, 2021 at 12:48 am)Fireball Wrote:
(November 24, 2021 at 11:44 pm)Abaddon_ire Wrote: Why do you think I raised this thread. I am aware of the ethical issues. That is the very reason for it. 

I'm kinda surprised you couldn't work that out. But you are american, so perhaps not. One must have sympathy for the hard of thinking, I suppose.

Oldandeasilyconfused lives in OZ. Nice dick move.
Yep. You are right. I made an unwarranted assumption.

I will happily put up my hand for that and take the deserved slap.

Mea culpa.
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#9
RE: Therapy please
(November 25, 2021 at 8:10 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote:
(November 25, 2021 at 12:48 am)Fireball Wrote: Oldandeasilyconfused lives in OZ. Nice dick move.
Yep. You are right. I made an unwarranted assumption.

I will happily put up my hand for that and take the deserved slap.

Mea culpa.

OAEC also states that he has ASD. With that in mind I take some of his posts with a grain of salt.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem




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#10
RE: Therapy please
I think Fox hit it. Friends advise friends. If she wanted you to be a therapist then she’d have paid you.
It's bad for the rest of the world when americans are paid so little they can only afford chocolate mined by child slaves and clothes made in overseas sweatshops. - Robyn Pennacchia
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