Really Need to write this out.

[AkiraTheViking]

So just an update on this, after months of the courts not caring about the case and kept putting it off (and very sloppily I might add) by the courts we finally had the hearing. And it was disaster. First of all my brother tried to delay the hearing (it's online) by getting ready late, this caused the hearing to be delayed an hour. When it was FINALLY on the "Judge" told my mom after reading my mom's statement that "arguing with someone is not domestic violence". I tried to argue with the Judge on how he behaves by gaslighting people and arguing over every little thing every day he mentally and emotionally abuses my mom but she didn't want to hear it cuz "she knows the law". He also verbally abuse her (which I didn't mention at the time cuz I am crap under situations involving arguments). Then she saw to my case and read what was in my statement and then she only listened to his side of the story. When asked about the key points making the 1st move; he admitted it, biting me, slapping etc; he admitted it and she decided to grant me only a one year protection order and that is only on the grounds of him attacking me.

The thing is about narcissist is that they have other ways to abuse you without violence. That thing that she is giving me is not going to do shit, it could've if it forced him out of the house but it didn't. And she obviously didn't take the case seriously because afterwards she said, "not all people are gonna mesh together including family" and that "I shouldn't take things seriously" (so i should leave him to get verbally abusive with my mom to a point where he could beat her) and that "we're brothers, friends leave at the end of the day you'll have you family and you have to work things out and settle your differences". BITCH BLOOD DON'T MEAN SHIT, RELATIONSHIPS DO!!! I've had strangers, friends, 2nd and 3rd cousins that treated me more like a brother than him. This whole family is forever shit is nonsense.

By the end of the day by her attitude, tone, treating verbal/mental/emotional abuse towards my mom as just arguing and her sentience for him and my mom to get counseling (which we've tried before and it never works because Narcissistic Personality Disorder works that way) is proof of that she didn't take it seriously.

And her attitude towards him hurting me showed she just wrote it off as "Boys will be Boys" and "Brothers will be Brothers" because my statement clearly indicated that he didn't get hurt in the fight and I had not the ability to defend myself but she clearly read that as if I was hiding my side of the fight of which I guarantee I wasn't. If I was a woman she CLEARLY wouldn't have taken this lightly and give me a full protection order. But ofcourse the misandrist double standard must rule the world. No wonder more men kill themselves or turn to violence. And then we're to blame for the fucking double standard. Fucking gross.

[arewethereyet]

I hope the protection order helps and perhaps you can work hard during that time to find a way out.

Family crap is not fun and the courts and laws tend to shy away from any real help....at least that's how it sounds for your case and it is the norm here in the US.

[AkiraTheViking]

^Yup 100% the system is made to disenfranchise people.

[arewethereyet]

No matter how dysfunctional a family is...courts try to keep them together because that's supposed to be a good thing.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

No matter how dysfunctional a family is...courts try to keep them together because that's supposed to be a good thing.

I survived. It can be done. But not as often as Fred MacMurray would have us believe.

[AkiraTheViking]

∆With me, not so much. I'm 33 years of age and been trying to get out long before I turned 18. The job market here is a joke. Options are super limited and it's always depend on either who you know inside that can get you the job or if you have years of experance. Both should be illegal when hireing in my opinion. Ofcourse if you're a woman it doesn't matter if you're educated/know someone/have experance, you're guranteed to get hired, which is disgusting on all levels. It doesn't help that men are treated like crap in the workforce in my country, unless you work office. And because I am Indian they assume that I can do labour work ten times my capability. I'm literally 120lbs and skinny. Strengh comes from muscles not gender or race.

No matter how dysfunctional a family is...courts try to keep them together because that's supposed to be a good thing.

I honestly don't understand that mentallity. If anything it's counter porductive to society. But the 1% must keep us disenfrachised so we either settle for a job we don't like/is not good for us heath wise or turn to crime cuz either way they make a profit. Hell even killing yourself gives them money.

[GrandizerII]

Sounds like you're dealing with a crap judge who is pretty ignorant when it comes to matters of psychological abuse. But that aside, the law unfortunately is very black or white, so when it comes to emotional/verbal abuse, there's not much that can be done about that legally. Still, the judge could have shown some empathy for you and your mother and not act like a "flying monkey" for your brother.

[MR. Macabre 666]

I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go well for you and your mom, it fucking sucks. It's been a while since we last heard from you here on the forum, you've always got someone who will listen to you.
Hang in there.