Just Water

[Rokcet Scientist]

[Cinjin]

Why God never received tenure at any university...

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

lol ... brilliant!

[Jaysyn]

Jesus Christ enters a hotel, hands the receptionist 3 nails and says:

"Will you put me up for the night?"

Thumbs up if if know where this joke is from.

The Crow. But it was innkeeper, not receptionist.

Rep please

[Thor]

A priest and an attractive young nun are in a car returning from a meeting. The priest is driving and he notices the nun's knee is partially exposed. Unable to control himself, the priest reaches over and touches the nun's knee. The nun replies, "Father, are you familiar with Psalm 117?"

The priest quickly pulls his hand away and apologizes profusely.

A little while later the priest again reaches over and touches the nun's knee. Again, the nun asks, "Father, are you familiar with Psalm 117?"

Again, the priest pulls his hand away and apologizes, saying "The flesh is weak!"

They continue down the road and the priest keeps glancing at the nun's shapely leg. Once again, he reaches over and touches her knee. For the third time, the nun asks, "Father, are you familiar with Psalm 117?"

Once again, the priest pulls back his hand and begs forgiveness, repeating "The flesh is weak! The flesh is weak!"

They finally return to the church and the priest and the nun go their separate ways.

The priest returns to his office and pulls out his Bible to look up Psalm 117. When he reads it, he finds it says, "Continue on! For further up you shall find glory!"

Moral of the story: BE PROFICIENT IN YOUR JOB!

[Rokcet Scientist]

Now there's a useful reference to use on catholic bimbos! Cheers!
Gotta remember Psalm 117!
That's one for the arsenal.

[Kayenneh]

A priest was staying at a motel and since the receptionist was quite attractive he asked her to have a drink at his room. When he started to touch her leg she asked: "Father, is this appropriate?". The priest answered: "Yes, it says so in the Bible." Thus they proceeded to have sex all night long. In the morning the receptionist asked the priest to show her where in the Bible it said that last night was ok. The priest opened up the first page of the book, on which someone had doodled: "The receptionist will fuck anyone!"

[Rokcet Scientist]

[Atheistfreethinker]

A priest, a lawyer, a school teacher and a group of children are on a sinking ship. When the rescue boat arrived the teacher said: "Children first" and the lawyer said: "Fuck the children" and the priest said: "Do you think we have time"?