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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Ways to Get Out of Going to Church

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Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
Nitsuj Offline
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#1
Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 10:06 am (This post was last modified: August 21, 2011 at 10:07 am by Nitsuj.)
These can be serious or they can be funny. Go for it.

Set all the clocks in the house back an hour so when my dad's alarm rings, church is already over.
Trudging through endless religion one step at a time.
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Napoléon Offline
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#2
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 10:14 am
Claiming god spoke to you and that he told you not to go. They will believe that right?

I mean, I can't possibly conceive of any reason why they wouldn't Wink
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Darwinian Offline
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#3
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 10:38 am
Just say no!
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Ace Otana Away
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#4
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 10:45 am
Just say get fucked.
Of course you could always sneak out at night and brick up the church doors. Or just pour some cement in front of the door.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan

Mankind's intelligence walks hand in hand with it's stupidity.

Being an atheist says nothing about your overall intelligence, it just means you don't believe in god. Atheists can be as bright as any scientist and as stupid as any creationist.

You never really know just how stupid someone is, until you've argued with them.
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The Grand Nudger Offline
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#5
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 10:54 am
Tell your dad you can't miss happy hour at the Man-hole.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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frankiej Offline
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#6
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Walk on water.
Cunt
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Gawdzilla Offline
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#7
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Burn church down. Bonus points if pastor is in it. Double bonus points if pastor and church ladies are in it.
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8BitAtheist Offline
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#8
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Don't go. Easy way to get out of going.
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Napoléon Offline
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#9
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm
(August 21, 2011 at 3:51 pm)8BitAtheist Wrote: Don't go. Easy way to get out of going.

That is THE most original post I have ever seen.
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Rayaan Offline
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#10
RE: Ways to Get Out of Going to Church
August 21, 2011 at 6:01 pm
And if none of the above works, unfortunately, then tell your parents that you want to go to mosque. Big Grin
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Ways to Get Out of Going to Church

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