Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake

[thesummerqueen]

I can't believe you felt it. Not a peep down here.

[reverendjeremiah]

Many people think I am making that up..but I felt what I felt. Everything I had hanging from my ceiling was swaying back and forth and my son noticed it as well. I knew it was a quake, and then about an hour later my wife texted me to tell me a quake happened. I wasnt suprised.

[thesummerqueen]

Dad just called to explain why his time was being wasted. (My dad is Min's age, and enjoys calling me during work where he can bother me most)

Apparently the woman who was leading a team project he was on (she's not his boss) bitched that he un-assed (his word) the building without waiting for her say so.

He told his boss that when his common sense was at war with her "procedures," his common sense was going to say "fuck you" to her, every time.

[Minimalist]

(My dad is Min's age

Old fucker, huh?

[thesummerqueen]

yup. I'm told the fact that he's 10 years older than my mum is probably why I like older men.

I think personally it has to do with older men generally having bigger wallets, but whatever psychobabble makes you comfortable, I guess.

[The Grand Nudger]

My daughters came up and gave me a hug this morning before we went to the store....and lifted my damn wallet. I found it on the ground in the kitchen with everything but cash left in it. Must be an inborn talent. For reference, they've never taken the slightest interest in their little brother.

[Minimalist]

yup. I'm told the fact that he's 10 years older than my mum is probably why I like older men.

Oh, no. Another woman with Daddy-issues!

[DeistPaladin]

You'd think Yahweh could come up with a more effective way of communicating than by a medium that is completely indistinguishable from common natural occurrences.

This is the same god who, in the days of Moses, could talk through burning bushes (and often didn't even bother with that). Later, during the years of Jesus' ministry, he spoke as a booming voice from the sky telling people "this is my son, hear ye him." Yahweh had no trouble speaking in words back then. So how come all he can do now is hit people with earthquakes and hurricanes?

Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess, got his tongue?

[Minimalist]

So how come all he can do now is hit people with earthquakes and hurricanes?

Passive-aggressive motherfucker.

[The Grand Nudger]

Wife probably gave him shit for chatting to strange men all night.