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Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 1:01 pm
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/08/24...nd-of-gay/
Quote:Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay.”
“All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” Rev. Robertson. “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.”
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Isn't he dead yet?
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Poor God. People wont listen to him so he has to use earthquakes. Pretty soon he may actually have to come down himself and kick homosexual ass. But I doubt it.
If I die and god is real, im so screwed.
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 1:43 pm
(August 24, 2011 at 1:01 pm)Minimalist Wrote: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/08/24...nd-of-gay/
Quote:Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay.”
“All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” Rev. Robertson. “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.”
Why do people listen to this dumb arsehole who doesnt have the first clue how the world actually works.
And what about all those god fearing straight guys killed by earthquakes?
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 1:44 pm
(August 24, 2011 at 1:43 pm)downbeatplumb Wrote: (August 24, 2011 at 1:01 pm)Minimalist Wrote: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/08/24...nd-of-gay/
Quote:Evangelist Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s broadcast of his 700 Club program by saying that yesterday’s mild East Coast earthquake was God’s revenge on people “who act kind of gay.”
“All across the Eastern seaboard, there are men who get manicures, wear designer eyewear and know about thread counts,” Rev. Robertson. “God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved.”
Why do people listen to this dumb arsehole who doesnt have the first clue how the world actually works.
And what about all those god fearing straight guys killed by earthquakes?
Because they are dumb arseholes who don't have the first clue how the world actually works?
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 1:46 pm
(This post was last modified: August 24, 2011 at 1:50 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Hehehe, poor old Pat, constantly maligned in the media.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funny...ertson.htm
I think the Fatwa at No. 2, and the alternative history of Haiti at No.1 definitely earned their place.
Also...
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/...quotes.htm
(for those who can never get enough)
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 2:23 pm
(This post was last modified: August 24, 2011 at 2:32 pm by Anomalocaris.)
(August 24, 2011 at 1:01 pm)Minimalist Wrote: .......God finds this somewhat gay-like behavior confusing, and He responded by getting mildly peeved........”
Wow, he psychoanalyzes omnipotence and discovers befuddlement within omniscience.
Talking about projecting yourself into your god.
That this dude has a following amongst christians says something about just how much surplus idiocy there must amongst the jesus following nincompoop, over and above lofty level of stupidity already required for faith.
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Wait...so the evangelicals who wear designers labels and get blowjobs in airport bathrooms...aren't...kinda gay?
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Nah, they like rough men, not pansies. Meth addiction gets bonus points.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Borowitz: Pat Robertson on the Earthquake
August 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm
(This post was last modified: August 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm by reverendjeremiah.)
LMFAO..great parody article.
I was i the bath tube when the quake happened..it made me sick to my stomach, and my bath water started to make waves like an ocean.
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