And really bad puns ...

[thesummerqueen]

Espressofrog made me stop crying and start laughing with these ridiculous babies last Thursday...

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

[Rayaan]

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

[thesummerqueen]

There's a hidden comedian behind that solemn muslim exterior...

[frankiej]

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

Haha, that one amused me quite a lot

[Rayaan]

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang but, eventually, it came back to me.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

It's true that I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub it in my face!

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive!

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: Their feet smell and their noses run.

[Cinjin]

What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids

[Dotard]

Gay Dinosaur known as MegaSoreAss.

[Rayaan]

Dear Arial,

Let's face it, you just aren't my type.

Sincerely,
Times New Roman.

[Rayaan]

[Rayaan]