Don't prosecute spousal rape, she was wearing a nightie.

[Violet]

If someone is mugged, do you blame them for carrying around a wallet? If someone is hit by a drunk driver, do you blame them for driving in the first place? If someone's house is robbed, do you blame them for having nice things?

We had a long thread on that. Answer is: partially. For they are partially to blame

When someone is waving around they are at partial fault when they get mugged for it. That isn't saying the mugger shouldn't be dealt with or that the "victim" (nobody walks away from torture unchanged) should be penalized for its occurrence... but he is not faultless who writes a book detailing how to steal that book and then titles is 'steal this book!'.

[Cinjin]

What a shock ... a man practicing Islam doesn't have any understanding of what spousal rape is.


**rolling eyes ... not REMOTELY shocked**

[Phaedra]

We had a long thread on that. Answer is: partially. For they are partially to blame

When someone is waving around they are at partial fault when they get mugged for it. That isn't saying the mugger shouldn't be dealt with or that the "victim" (nobody walks away from torture unchanged) should be penalized for its occurrence... but he is not faultless who writes a book detailing how to steal that book and then titles is 'steal this book!'.

I couldn't disagree more.

[Autumnlicious]

Gotta love the victim blaming going on in this thread. "Why'd you marry an asshole in the first place?" Does it fucking matter?

Because some who aren't blinded by love and do not understand find it difficult to emphasize with someone making, and the sticking with, a critically flawed decision (i.e. stupid).

Unfortunately, that does little help for the love sick, even though most of the time, if they were to heed the other's warnings, they'd leave such broken relationships.

Love makes humans stupid.

It also makes them annoyingly tenacious, upbeat and positive.

What do you want? To make incredible mistakes that may cost you your life, or never have the opportunity to make those mistakes... or even triumphs.

Many people try their hand at the former. Some people choose the latter. And the rest of us are, unfortunately, occupying the latter state due to lack of applicable mates, personal issues, etc,.

[Kayenneh]

Well, why not? Some people still do remain married. I know a few woman who suffered abuse under their husbands, who were generally alcoholics and without a job. Yet they did not divorce them for some reason I don't understand. And well, she was also earning well, too, at least to Turkish standards.
Not that she loved him very much either..I don't know if she was ever raped or whatever...But I know that her husband beat her, she told me.

I suggest that you read up on some basic psychology.

Many successful women have been in poor relationships and are also under severe mental abuse, and that's why they can't leave. The first beating comes to many as a surprise and it's really hard for the mind to fathom that the man you loved actually hit you. Later on you become so brainwashed, that many believe that they deserve it, that they are inferior and that they wouldn't manage without their husbands. If there are children involved, she might not leave, because she doesn't want her children to live without a father. In almost all cases there is one thought in the back of such women's heads: "If I love him enough, it'll go away. He can change".

And I'd like to point out that women aren't the only one's to suffer from domestic abuse. Many men are beaten in their relationships and mentally abused too. People have become increasingly aware of the violence towards women, but men can still be laughed at when they say that their wives beat them.

[Violet]

@Phaedra:

If you disagree, then test that theory after reading this thread: http://atheistforums.org/thread-3722.html

A shame it was locked. Oh well.

Personal note: I despise feminism. I am irritated when people use the word 'objectify'. I become highly annoyed when people talk about 'victim blaming' as if they were not partially responsible for whatever occurred. I hate sexism as feminists often present it to me, and I wish death upon the very idea of caring about someone's sex/gender when they inquire for a job. I HAVE A GIGANTIC PET PEEVE WHEN ANYONE USES THE WORDS 'MALE PRIVILEGE'. I embrace my gender and all its associated advantages and disadvantages.

Pisses me off further that anarcho-feminists have stolen my color for their flag -_-

[Autumnlicious]

I 'objectify' every goddamn thing I see. Because guess what? We are goddamn objects.

And a concrete manner of dealing with matters is more sane than touchy-feely Chopra-woo.

[Phaedra]

@Phaedra:

If you disagree, then test that theory after reading this thread: http://atheistforums.org/thread-3722.html

A shame it was locked. Oh well.

Why would I change my opinion based on what was presented in that thread?
I wasn't born yesterday-I've had this discussion many times on other forums. It never goes anywhere and seems to do nothing but enrage people because there is no correct answer.

---

Love makes humans stupid.

It also makes them annoyingly tenacious, upbeat and positive.

Oh, you're one of those...

I like and enjoy seeing happy people.

What do you want? To make incredible mistakes that may cost you your life, or never have the opportunity to make those mistakes... or even triumphs.

Many people try their hand at the former. Some people choose the latter. And the rest of us are, unfortunately, occupying the latter state due to lack of applicable mates, personal issues, etc,.

Why do you see it as so black and white? It is anything but.

[Autumnlicious]

What do you want? To make incredible mistakes that may cost you your life, or never have the opportunity to make those mistakes... or even triumphs.

Many people try their hand at the former. Some people choose the latter. And the rest of us are, unfortunately, occupying the latter state due to lack of applicable mates, personal issues, etc,.

Why do you see it as so black and white? It is anything but.

I believe in some circles, this should be indicated with a *WHOOSH*. As in, it flew right over your head.

To rephrase into simpler terms -
1. Love is risk.
-- Worst case: you lose your life due to something going terribly wrong.
-- Best case: it's heaven.
-- Real world case: between the two.

2. If you're not playing the 'love' game, you have no risk, but no rewards as well.

3. Playing the love game and not playing the love game are binary states.
-- So black/white applies quite well here.

[Phaedra]

I believe in some circles, this should be indicated with a *WHOOSH*. As in, it flew right over your head.

To rephrase into simpler terms -
1. Love is risk.
-- Worst case: you lose your life due to something going terribly wrong.
-- Best case: it's heaven.
-- Real world case: between the two.

2. If you're not playing the 'love' game, you have no risk, but no rewards as well.

3. Playing the love game and not playing the love game are binary states.
-- So black/white applies quite well here.

No, I got it. I just don't think of it that way. But I always appreciate being talked to like I'm an imbecile.