Question to those who,

[Calmedady]

have walked this path before.

I am a father of two, my oldest is ten. She (the ten year old) spends alot of time with my wifes parents (after school, before school). They are believers that tend to transcend their belifs of god and where people go when they die and yada yada yada on her. My daughter has even started telling her younger sister things. :/ Around this time of year it becomes frustrating for me because I obviously dont believe the same as them and really dont want my daughter to be filled with this garbage.

My question to you is, How do I go about approaching this subject with out making it sound like Im calling my in-laws liars. I have made comments to my daughter before but my attemp always seems futile.

Any comments will help, thank you.

[Erinome]

Hello there. I am a mother of 3. My children are 7, 5, and 3 years old, and their father, as well as the rest of our extended family, are christians. This is a very touchy deal. I am afraid that you might have decided to start this dialogue with your children a bit late, but there is still time. She isn't going to believe you because the truth is less fancy, and she is going to wonder why you are just now relaying the facts to her. I am afraid there is no easy way, but I believe that the best way would be a direct approach. Comments are so passive. What you need is a dialogue.

Sit her down and make sure to make it clear that you want to have a serious conversation with her, but try not to be too somber. Explain to her that her grandparents' beliefs are one set of many beliefs that are held by many different people all around the world. Tell her about Judaism, Hinduism, Wicca, and any other religion you can think of. Tell her that her grandparents aren't liars, they're great people who love her, but they believe in their god, which is only one of thousands of gods that have been worshiped throughout history, and no one has ever seen a god. Tell her your reasons for not believing in gods, and try to make it relevant to her by comparing religion to fairy tales. Also, tell her that you want so much more for her than a life spent worrying about what is going to happen when life is over.

She is going to go her own way, as they all do, but the best thing would be to open a dialogue about it, and keep it open. Don't just make it a one time discussion. I play a game with my kids where we make up our own religions. Each one of us contributes several different rules, sins, descriptions of deities, creation stories, and afterlife scenarios. This helps to keep them in touch with what's real and what's contrived. Educate her about science and history! That is a must! Talk about it every other day if possible, and encourage her to skeptically interrogate everything she is told, even the things you tell her yourself.

I am a firm believer that if we teach our children to question everything, especially authority, and be passionate about the truth, there is no possible way they can believe a myth like christianity.

[Minimalist]

They are believers

Right there is your problem.

You could try telling your daughter that they are deluded or mistaken or have simply failed to keep up with scientific developments....for the last 300 years.

The problem is how will your daughter interpret what you say. The difference between "lying" and "being wrong but shouting it from the rooftops" anyway might be lost on a child.

[Erinome]

Also, you might want to have a talk with the in-laws. As her parent you have a right to speak your mind about what you think of all the bullshit their presenting to your kid as truth. You have a right to tell them to cool it.

[frankiej]

Just tell your kids that they in-laws are liars... Call it as it is

[Voltair]

I do not have Children but Aleia's suggestion seems to me to be the most peaceful/logical one you could use. That way you don't smash anyone in the face and family peace, maybe, can be maintained.

[frankiej]

Smashing people in the face is sometimes needed

[Cinjin]

I told my parents and in-laws to keep it to a minimum, and by minimum, I mean, no direct teaching.

They seem to respect my wishes for the most part and for the little bit of bull shit my son hears, I correct that the same way Aleialoura says.

The best way to combat stupidity is to use that stupidity against them. Explain in detail, the Genesis story and Noah's Ark and Jonah's Whale ... it won't take long, and your kid will realize that fairy tales are fairy tales and even the Bible has no more validity than the Brother's Grimm.

Kids are smarter than we all realize. When she's old enough you can even use their own Bible to show how disgusting their angry desert god truly is.

[Erinome]

Even though my kids are very young I read them the more heinous parts of the bible because the two oldest asked me why I don't think the bible is a good book. My theory is that if a child can think up a question, they are ready for an honest answer.

[Erinome]

Check it, I was just talking to my son about this. Seems strange, I know, but we have conversations about all kinds of crazy things. Anyway, he suggested letting her watch American Dad, Family Guy, and all kinds of other "no bullshit" cartoons like that.

LoL

Gotta love that kid!