(October 10, 2014 at 8:42 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: When that feeling started to go away how were you? Were you caught up with thoughts about God a lot?
I was in my late 20s. I thought about it a lot. Daily. For about two years. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to get myself to believe again.
(October 10, 2014 at 8:42 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: When it away, how do you know it was baseless?
I didn't. I wondered if I was being tested. I wondered if I were to die during this time in my life, would I go to hell? Would that be fair?
It took me around six months after I stopped believing to be able to admit to myself that I didn't believe. Eventually, I realized the only reason I was worried about Christianity was because that's what I was raised to worry about. I'd never worried about going to Muslim hell for not following the five pillars of Islam.
Looking back on it, that feeling I had was something I've felt and still feel other times in my life. I've gotten it times you wouldn't expect it to be God (such as thinking about atheism). For all I can tell, it's just a dopamine rush when I like what I'm thinking about (or, rather, I like what I'm thinking about because of the dopamine, probably). For all the times people have told me they've "felt God", it's always vague, and they can't explain it, but they're certain it's not just endorphins, because they say so.