The transition between faith to no faith.

[Mystic]

The hardest thing for me is that I'm schizophrenic and I've had a lot of mystical experiences which I know is only a product of my mind. Yet in this insanity, I felt I did see potential beauty, glory, and greatness but that these were archetypes that exist in me and is both imaginative but has some basis to reality. I don't know. I feel like I know spirituality can have high levels, intense levels of devotion to God can lead to high stages, I feel like I witnessed some of these high stages even though I was going through psychosis. I feel like I witnessed what it means to be holy.

At the same time, since I'm schizophrenic, I question all my beliefs to the supernatural. I feel like I have a soul but how do I know this isn't delusional? I feel there is stages of closeness to God but how do I know this is not delusional.

At the same time, if we do have souls and God did in grain us with spiritual knowledge, I would be hasty in just giving it up saying I don't know absolutely or based on evidence therefore should do away with these feelings. Or giving them up simply because I have a mental illness.

I don't want hold beliefs that are delusions and not based on knowledge but I don't want to give up on spiritual knowledge if God gave that to me.

That put's me between a rock and a hard place it feels.