(January 3, 2016 at 7:46 am)excitedpenguin Wrote: Been there, done that.

You should try writing, if you have a knack for it. Or maybe even keep a journal. Try practicing lucidity, or try out meditation - I'm sorry I didn't know about those when I was in the loony bin.

Good luck.

I've tried journalling, I don't have much of a knack for it, but I see the value of it.

(January 3, 2016 at 8:02 am)excitedpenguin Wrote: Mine was fucking hell. Boredom. I hate the shit out of boredom. And medication I didn't need that made me write really shitty prose. Betrayal and a lot of other stuff.

I will say though I was kind of an alpha male over there, despite being a fifteen year-old kid stuck with adults. But then again, I might've been one of the few people there who were admitted both illegally and for no good reason.

Yeah, boredom is a constant problem. I'm lucky they let me keep my smartphone, though I have to have the nurse keep the charger cable (along with belts, shoelaces, etc). No, I'm not suicidal, but they don't take chances.


I remember being a kid (barely 18) amongst adults back in 85. That was weird.

PTSD?
Another unsung hero doing it hard for Uncle Sam.
Fuck Uncle Sam! Fuck war! Fuck Everything!
Rob, you got your finger on the red button? Press it. You have my full support.
It will stop all suffering instantly. Can't lose.

How's the food? When I was in (three weeks, severe depression over the death of my father), I remember it as being quite good, as institutional food goes.

Boru

I've never had a suicidal thought in my life, but I can sympathize, I guess. Well, I did slightly play with the idea of killing myself later in life if I didn't make it or simply because I would get old, but that was in my early teens and am not sure if it counts so much as a genuinely suicidal thought as maybe just a romantic indulgement.

Can you tell me why you would want to kill yourself? And please tell me if you don't want to talk about it, because I know this isn't actually so much about you as it is about your current environment.

Actually you could PM me about it, if you feel like it and would accept my companionship.


So what's it like there, anyway?

(January 3, 2016 at 8:13 am)ignoramus Wrote: PTSD?
Another unsung hero doing it hard for Uncle Sam.
Fuck Uncle Sam! Fuck war! Fuck Everything!
Rob, you got your finger on the red button? Press it. You have my full support.
It will stop all suffering instantly. Can't lose.

I am a veteran, but my PTSD is not service-related.

(January 3, 2016 at 8:14 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: How's the food?  When I was in (three weeks, severe depression over the death of my father), I remember it as being quite good, as institutional food goes.

Boru

It's pretty shitty. They don't have a kitchen here, so the trays are brought over from the main hospital campus about half an hour away.

Blech.

Well, I hope you get things sorted out. Good man yerself, CD. All the best.

Boru

How many Napoleons are there?

(January 3, 2016 at 8:16 am)excitedpenguin Wrote: Can you tell me why you would want to kill yourself? And please tell me if you don't want to talk about it, because I know this isn't actually so much about you as it is about your current environment.

Actually you could PM me about it, if you feel like it and would accept my companionship.


So what's it like there, anyway?

I actually don't want to kill myself, though I am haunted by suicidal ideation. Why? Aside from being mentally ill for over thirty years, four years ago I became suddenly physically disabled and I've had difficulty adjusting and coping with it. It's not a major disability but it has had a profound impact on my life, and it will likely get worse. I struggle with the prospect of completely losing the use of my legs. That combined with the lifelong struggle in my own mind has taken a heavy toll.

What's it like? It's 62 paces from one end of the ward to another. The exterior doors are locked. There's a dining room, group therapy rooms, patient rooms and a nurse's station. It used to be a medical ward. Everything has been made safe from self-harm (e.g. so that patients would find suicide difficult). There's a couple of lockdown rooms for patients who act out (hasn't happened in the time I've been here - since last Tuesday).

There's little to do. I've read all the magazines, the TV is inaccessible almost all the time, and what books they have hold no interest for me. I suppose I could read the damn Bible again (uh, no).

There's a bed check every 15 minutes at night. Can't go outside at all. It would suck to be a smoker, thankfully I no longer am.

There's a lot of routine. Meals, group therapy, meds, vitals, etc.