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Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
#31
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
(April 13, 2016 at 1:24 pm)drfuzzy Wrote: Didn't know whether to post this to Christianity or HUMOR.  This preacher actually believes this crap.  (And the comments that follow the article are fun.)  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mack...22324a02ee

A Christian author is warning women that “masturbation is a direct path to Satan.”

“Many of you who are reading this have sex toys in your possession right now. And whether you want to accept it as fact or not: those sex toys are an open portal between the demonic realm and your own life. As long as you have those sex toys in your home, you have a doorway that can allow demons to not only access your life at will, but also to torment you, hinder and destroy certain parts of your life as it relates to sex and your relationships.”

“There are such things as sex demons. And the danger in masturbating is that one could inadvertently summon a sex demon to attach itself to you through the act of masturbating. And once that demon attaches, it is difficult to get it to leave."

-- Apparently this is only a problem for women.  Or anyone that uses a dildo. 

Ridiculous.   Wacky  Cue jokes on 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

After reading this, all I can think is "Mammy, can I be a dildo when I grow up?"
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#32
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
(April 13, 2016 at 4:54 pm)Constable Dorfl Wrote: After reading this, all I can think is "Mammy, can I be a dildo when I grow up?"

Well, at least, I see nothing wrong with a sex demon attaching itself to me. I'm not getting any younger and the time for needing one is quickly approaching.
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#33
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
(April 13, 2016 at 4:58 pm)abaris Wrote:
(April 13, 2016 at 4:54 pm)Constable Dorfl Wrote: After reading this, all I can think is "Mammy, can I be a dildo when I grow up?"

Well, at least, I see nothing wrong with a sex demon attaching itself to me. I'm not getting any younger and the time for needing one is quickly approaching.

Ah you're outsourcing your labour ...

Just make sure the project management is up to scratch.
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#34
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
I can't believe no one has posted this yet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLCgThbzmkc
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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#35
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
Umm . . .



er . . . ..



uh . . . .




so if some one actually manages to snag a sex demon and put it on display at the municipal zoo, we will have confirmed Christianity ??
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#36
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
I don't wantz no Dex Semens Goddamnit!

Sex demons are just fine though.
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#37
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
(April 13, 2016 at 1:24 pm)drfuzzy Wrote: Didn't know whether to post this to Christianity or HUMOR.  This preacher actually believes this crap.  (And the comments that follow the article are fun.)  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mack...22324a02ee

A Christian author is warning women that “masturbation is a direct path to Satan.”

“Many of you who are reading this have sex toys in your possession right now. And whether you want to accept it as fact or not: those sex toys are an open portal between the demonic realm and your own life. As long as you have those sex toys in your home, you have a doorway that can allow demons to not only access your life at will, but also to torment you, hinder and destroy certain parts of your life as it relates to sex and your relationships.”

“There are such things as sex demons. And the danger in masturbating is that one could inadvertently summon a sex demon to attach itself to you through the act of masturbating. And once that demon attaches, it is difficult to get it to leave."

-- Apparently this is only a problem for women.  Or anyone that uses a dildo. 

Ridiculous.   Wacky  Cue jokes on 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

The guy must have been taking classes from this muslim cleric.  He says that women who masturbate may get themselves killed because they are not virgins.  That would be wrong and a sin against them.  But it might be OK to beat them.
http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/0/0/0/0/0/589/1308.htm
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#38
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
So, is "demonic realm" a euphemism for the vagina?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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#39
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
I dunno.

But it's certainly my favorite naughty place.
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#40
RE: Dildos are a portal to the demonic realm!!
(April 13, 2016 at 9:06 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: So, is "demonic realm" a euphemism for the vagina?

Only one week a month. AAAAAhahahahahahahaha
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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