(September 1, 2016 at 8:28 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm vouching for several people I've never met in person. I trust them more than almost anyone I have actually met. These are people I've chatted with extensively on Skype. I don't trust people to this level easily, so they are people I've been through a lot with and who have demonstrated that they can be trusted, time and again.

I do understand a reluctance to do so. But this forum is a little different to just chatting to strangers one on one. It's a whole network of trust. But of course, everyone should continue to be vigilant and careful. I'm not suggesting complacency.

I don't know that it's terribly different at all. I've made what I thought were close friends online, hosted them at my house, and found them out to be other than what they've told me, face-to-face, late at night knee-deep in a bottle of wine.

No, I want to read someone's eyes before I pronounce them friends, any more.

(September 1, 2016 at 8:51 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote:

(September 1, 2016 at 8:26 am)abaris Wrote: I have strong sympathies for a number of people here, but how would I vouch for someone I never really met? Real life relies on so much more than occasional web conversations or PMs.

I met someone online who I quite quickly came to know more than anyone in so-called 'real life'. Someone who has opened up to me and been more honest towards me than even my own family who I lived with every day for over 25 years. My family have barely even confided anything in me.

Because guess what... the internet is real life too. It's only not real if people are bullshitting. Presence of physical contact and absence of physical distance =/= reality.

The problem with this logic is that distance abets falsity when those folk are so inclined. And it happens.

Or as we say down here in Texas -- A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be sitting next to you saying, "goddamn, wasn't that fun?"

If I say that I read the title of this thread as "How many people would you punch?", will you all promise not to Freud me? Accurate though it might be.

(September 1, 2016 at 2:23 pm)Losty Wrote: I was only saying that it is possible to build real meaningful relationships over the Internet with people you've never met. Sure there's always a slight risk even then, but so is there afk. People can lie to you in person too.

Absolutely. Apart from a very select few people in so-called real life, the closest friends I've ever known in my life have been on the other end of a wifi connection. I can honestly say that most of them are here.

I find that looking into eyes, reading body language, is more reliable. I can be zoomed by many online, but it's very few who get inside the hurt-zone if we get face-time.

Would vouch for me?

One, but she's fucking insane so I wouldn't trust her.

To me, this is a proxy question for "Do I matter to anyone?"  (Answer: Yes)

I have 2 close friends in real life that are like sisters and I'd also vouch for my brothers.
One of my friends I've vouched for in a legal document - She's in my living trust and would handle all my affairs if I kick the bucket while my daughter is a minor.

I have some online friends that I care about deeply but I wouldn't vouch for any until I met them in real life.

(September 1, 2016 at 9:16 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: I find that looking into eyes, reading body language, is more reliable. I can be zoomed by many online, but it's very few who get inside the hurt-zone if we get face-time.

See, that wouldn't work for me. The eyes are what attract me and make me fall in love with a person, so they could tell me anything and I'd just accept it.

Apart from "fuck off and stop staring into my eyes, you fucking creep."

1.5

I think one of them would try their best to keep things in confidence, but if they felt telling someone else would ultimately help me, then they'd squeal.

I actually think more than a few people here would potentially fit the bill (Rob, Losty, etc.), but I'd still like to know them more/better.

(September 1, 2016 at 10:04 pm)Stimbo Wrote:

(September 1, 2016 at 9:16 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: I find that looking into eyes, reading body language, is more reliable. I can be zoomed by many online, but it's very few who get inside the hurt-zone if we get face-time.

See, that wouldn't work for me. The eyes are what attract me and make me fall in love with a person, so they could tell me anything and I'd just accept it.

Apart from "fuck off and stop staring into my eyes, you fucking creep."

If people respond to you like that, kill them with an axe.