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I'm back if you'll have me
#1
I'm back if you'll have me
Hey everyone! It's been a couple of years since I left, I've spent the past few weeks kinda just perusing through the forums and debating whether or not I should post anything and finally decided to do it. Reason for the self conflict of coming back is because a few things have changed since I last posted anything here, the main thing being that I am now Born Again. Easter of 2015 I was "re-baptized" after having a moment with God a month earlier following a near death experience with an escaped lion from a local zoo. He showed me that the path I had taken was one full of Sin, Depravity, and Immorality. That denying His love was not only causing hurt to myself, but also my family, friends, and the people I love and hold close to me.

As I prayed and spoke with God one night, He reminded of my past. Of how I denounced Him and my faith during a dark point in my life. He reminded me that not only had I rejected Him, but I had also encouraged others to do the same. Here. On this very forum. This Internet forum proudly defies God, and it does not go unnoticed. In fact many of the members here have been seen by His eye, he knows you and he knows that you deny his love. And thus God gave me a mission. My mission is to be the Shephard to this flock. To guide you all from away from the path you have taken, as I once did. And lead you back, away from the gates of Hell. It is my duty to remind you all of that which you have chosen to forget, as I once chose before finding Him in my heart again.

I will be your light, your beacon of faith. I know many of you will reject what I say, but please understand that I am not here to insult you or discredit your dirty heathen thoughts and feelings. I am simply here to be a humble servant of the Lord, and therefore I will be the mouthpiece of Him. And He wishes for me to tell you that he does not demand much, only that you devote your life to him, so that your eternal soul will be forgiven the transgressions that you have made on this mortal world. He also wishes for me to tell you that above all else, He loves you unconditionally. However if you do not denounce your heathen beliefs, your soul will descend into Satan's grasp.

And so now, if you truly believe that your disbelief can withstand the power of Faith, the power of Hope, the Power of God; then read the contents of God's Words.


His Message

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#2
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
Jumped the shark with the escaped lion.

Welcome back, man!
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
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#3
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
(January 8, 2017 at 6:20 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Jumped the shark with the escaped lion.

Welcome back, man!

Damn and I toned it down from acid trip in the Andes Mountains!
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#4
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
Welcome! Good read!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#5
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
NO YOU FOOL, SCIENCE HAS PROVEN THERE IS NO GOD!!!
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#6
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
I remember you! I was Ivy/Fruity back then. Glad to have you back. Scared me there for a moment.

I'd say you can find some titties in A69, but the boob traffic in that place is dead. You'll find lots of male butts, though.

Anywho! Welcome back Big Grin
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#7
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
(January 8, 2017 at 6:32 pm)Alex K Wrote: NO YOU FOOL, SCIENCE HAS PROVEN THERE IS NO GOD!!!

And God had proven that there is no science! Take that Galileo! Got riggidy riggidy rekt son!
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#8
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
This  will not end well.
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#9
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
(January 8, 2017 at 6:40 pm)Minimalist Wrote: This  will not end well.

He'll come around. The superiority of Dawkins Big Bang Hawking evolution will bring his Christ logic to his knees.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#10
RE: I'm back if you'll have me
But Hawking's brother proved that God's farts are real and knocked the apple off the tree onto Newton's bonce.
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