If you don't tell, you're a lousy friend.

Boru

(October 17, 2017 at 12:24 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you don't tell, you're a lousy friend.

Boru

People aren't going to believe you, even the friend you are trying to help is not going to believe you. You will cause a lot of conflict, mistrust, drama and in the end probably look like a jealous bitter guy. It will damage your friendship whether you manage to convince your friend or not. Even if you win...you lose.

I think it comes down to whether you value your friend or your friendship. It's a small difference but it makes a huge difference in this situation. If you shut up you will maintain your friendship if you speak up you will damage the friendship but if you value your friendship basic decency dictate you have to speak up...and lose your friendship. I think it's one of those situations where even if you approach with good intentions the results aren't going to be favorable.

What does speaking up prove? It can prove that you're a good friend because you spoke up or it can prove that you're a bad friend because you didn't care enough to maintain the friendship.

Who is the better friend, The one that value the friend more or the friendship more?

(October 17, 2017 at 1:22 pm)pool the matey Wrote: People aren't going to believe you, even the friend you are trying to help is not going to believe you. You will cause a lot of conflict, mistrust, drama and in the end probably look like a jealous bitter guy. It will damage your friendship whether you manage to convince your friend or not. Even if you win...you lose.

You don't know this.

And if your best friend doesn't believe you they aren't much of a best friend.

It just seems like a lazy and selfish way to excuse yourself from an ethical problem AFAIC.

(October 17, 2017 at 1:24 pm)Hammy Wrote:

(October 17, 2017 at 1:22 pm)pool the matey Wrote:

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People aren't going to believe you, even the friend you are trying to help is not going to believe you. You will cause a lot of conflict, mistrust, drama and in the end probably look like a jealous bitter guy. It will damage your friendship whether you manage to convince your friend or not. Even if you win...you lose.

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You don't know this.

The point is to consider the situation and think about what you will do, Hammy. That's what makes thought exercises interesting because you imagine being in a tough situation and wonder what you will do. You're not supposed to turn around and go "nope won't happen", you're supposed to consider it. Although if you don't want to, it's still okay, there is no pressure.

(October 17, 2017 at 1:38 pm)pool the matey Wrote:

(October 17, 2017 at 1:24 pm)Hammy Wrote: You don't know this.

And if your best friend doesn't believe you they aren't much of a best friend.

It just seems like a lazy and selfish way to excuse yourself from an ethical problem AFAIC.

The point is to consider the situation and think about what you will do, Hammy. That's what makes thought exercises interesting because you imagine being in a tough situation and wonder what you will do. You're not supposed to turn around and go "nope won't happen",  you're supposed to consider it. Although if you don't want to, it's still okay, there is no pressure.

Actually it was me that was thinking about the situation. I didn't say "nope won't happen" but you DID say "People aren't going to believe you." and "you will cause conflict."

It was me telling you that you don't know that. But nice try with projecting and trolling your own stupid threads again. The OP should have been an ethical dilemma without sexual assault involved... and your response to me should have been non-retarded. This dilemma would have been better posed by almost anyone else on AF.

If you don't want to participate then don't. I don't appreciate you just posting to insult me, cause drama and derail.

(October 17, 2017 at 1:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: If you don't want to participate then don't. I don't appreciate you just posting to insult me, cause drama and derail.

I did participate.

My point was that I DID think about the dilemma. It was you who simply assumed "No one is going to believe you" and "you will cause conflict". You completely misrepresented what I said while doing the exact thing you accused me of yourself.

But it's hardly surprising that all you did was focus on the insult because you knew very well that I was right when I said I was the one who was telling YOU to not make assumptions.

Again... instead of focusing on my insult.... how about focus on the fact that when you say "no one is going to believe you" and "you will cause conflict"... then when I say "you don't know that" it's fucking ridiculous to respond to me by saying that I need to actually think about it and that I am the one making assumptions. It was you who was making assumptions, hence why I said "you don't know that".

So many of these threads would be better if someone else made them. When people actually respond to your threads you shoot down what they say by misrepresenting what they say and basically trolling your own thread. It's so ridiculous.

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(October 17, 2017 at 1:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: If you don't want to participate then don't. I don't appreciate you just posting to insult me, cause drama and derail.

It's you doing that. When someone points out that you are making assumptions then projecting and misrepresenting what they say and then complaining that they insulted you is YOU derailing.

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The following is my bold:

(October 17, 2017 at 1:24 pm)Hammy Wrote:

(October 17, 2017 at 1:22 pm)pool the matey Wrote: People aren't going to believe you, even the friend you are trying to help is not going to believe you. You will cause a lot of conflict, mistrust, drama and in the end probably look like a jealous bitter guy. It will damage your friendship whether you manage to convince your friend or not. Even if you win...you lose.

You don't know this.

And if your best friend doesn't believe you they aren't much of a best friend.

It just seems like a lazy and selfish way to excuse yourself from an ethical problem AFAIC.

(October 17, 2017 at 1:38 pm)pool the matey Wrote: The point is to consider the situation and think about what you will do, Hammy. That's what makes thought exercises interesting because you imagine being in a tough situation and wonder what you will do. You're not supposed to turn around and go "nope won't happen",  you're supposed to consider it. Although if you don't want to, it's still okay, there is no pressure.

The bold shows how fucking ridiculous and unreasonable you're being. It was you making assumptions and it was you who was failing to actually think about the situation.

Just because someone doesn't make the same assumptions as you doesn't mean they're not thinking about it. And when you basically flat out tell people the way things would be as if you know your answer is certainly correct.... and then you tell OTHER people to not make assumptions when they say you don't know that... that's just so fucking ridiculous.

You're such a gigantically disingenuous prick.

I'm sick of this crap. Learn to have some goddamn intellectual honesty. When you tell someone what will happen and they say "You don't know this" don't respond with ridiculous fucking misrepresentations of what they said and act as if they're the ones doing what you're doing. You fucking troll.

Whatever, I'm not posting in this thread anymore. Bye.

I would tell my friend. If it was just an aquaintance, I wouldn't mess with.

(October 17, 2017 at 2:15 pm)pool the matey Wrote: Whatever, I'm not posting in this thread anymore. Bye.

And now you're playing the victim again. Classic Pool.