Alonest = being alone either by distance, or by state of mind. (A third, fourth, etc., state is not disallowed, but please explain.) 

Time wise, state of mind, the first eighteen years of my life. The other people in the house were pretty much drones, I can't remember ever having a "conversation" with any of them. 

Spatially, one week in Death Valley living in a cave. Friends dropped me off in a place they knew with food and water and an emergency radio. I haven't smoked since the SUV ride out there.

My ex wife left me and took my 1 yr old daughter with her.
I didn't see my little girl for 4 months.
I thought often about ending it all, but I knew a girl who had suicided on the 5th anniversary of her mother's suicide.
I didn't want to take the chance that she gets older, goes through a rough trot and thinks it was ok for dad so she'll do it too.

Second loneliest time was when I was in Adelaide and my girlfriend left me over the phone, so I went out drinking, had my wallet stolen and all I had left was a bus ticket to Perth.
River flooded halfway there, so the trip took 42 hrs and I was starving when I got there.
Slept in some toilets to keep out of the rain, ate food out of bins, hitched a ride to donnybrook to get some fruit picking work, found an abandoned house with half the roof missing, found some work picking apples, found out my dad was dying of cancer, went out drinking and got my faced kicked in by a Maori.
I stumbled home and a big storm came through that took a bit more roof off, but I barely noticed it, sitting in the corner, crying and so very lonely.

A Thanksgiving about 15 years ago. I had split from my ex husband that year and a coworker asked me to stay in her house and take care of her animals while she traveled for the holiday. I cooked a sad turkey dinner for one and went for a walk in the neighborhood. As I walked, I could see homes with lots of cars parked in the driveways, lights on and people inside. And there I was, meandering around alone.

-Teresa

Now..

When my oldest daughter moved out of the house. All my other kids were out already. Having a house full of kids for most of your life... it's unsettling how it feels when there are none anymore.

My teenage years. No friends or relationships. Felt misunderstood by my family and out of place in the world. Being in high school without friends is scary and depressing. You feel very vulnerable. 

A blessing in disguise.

Since I enjoy being alone, compared to sociable people, I doubt I can adequately respond.

(October 31, 2017 at 1:01 pm)Lutrinae Wrote: Since I enjoy being alone, compared to sociable people, I doubt I can adequately respond.

I'm guessing your 'alonest' moments involve being in crowds.

(October 31, 2017 at 1:01 pm)Lutrinae Wrote: Since I enjoy being alone, compared to sociable people, I doubt I can adequately respond.

I enjoy that now. I still don't have friends or relationships but my attitude is different. I use to feel more lonely around people but now it doesn't bother me.

Good question. I really have no clue. Being disabled from birth, I was often left out of the popular social circles, and either left literally alone or embraced by socially impaired misfits that I wanted nothing to do with. Now? I dunno, but after some talks with my psychologist, I realize how important age peers are, and having missed out on a lot of that, I have missed out on that kind of human development. Nowadays, it's hard to know who I fit in with, especially as that can change from moment to moment. I just feel like a stranger in my own body at times.