CIJS: don't fuck yith j a c k the wrong way

(January 6, 2018 at 4:02 pm)mh.brewer Wrote:

(January 6, 2018 at 3:35 pm)Haipule Wrote: Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for listening when I didn't have words. Thank you for holding me when I cried in despair. Thank you for making sense out of chaos. Thank you for loving me when others abandoned. Thank you for allowing me to love you even though others said it was wrong. I would never have survived with out your love. It's with my deepest gratitude I say thank you to my God for not abandoning me, as you were there when I needed you most. I will never forget what you did and I will love you forever!

This is either touching or disturbing, depending on the object. (object is still a sentence thing, right?)

The "object" in these sentences is "you". "You" is a same-ager woman who befriended me when I fragmented. She helped put back the pieces and help me to keep it together.

This is the disturbing part; five years ago I suddenly, out of nowhere, became symptomatic with PGAD--Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. What the FUCK is this!? What in HELL is going on? Alrighty, who is doing the voodoo? It got worse and worse until I was having orgasms in public for no fucking reason! Virtual 24/7 sexual pleasure that isn't even real! Yet, feels exactly the same! It's ok if you want to laugh! I laugh too.

Talk about confused and fragmenting! I was a complete basket case! It didn't want to confide in my wife. I didn't want to confide in anyone. But, I confided in "You" and "You" helped me research the problem and we discovered together that this problem had a name and that I wasn't the only one. However, learning that this was a rare disorder and extremely rare in males, and also, had no known cause, no known effective treatment, and no cure, was a bit disheartening. No off switch! Suicide is the cure of choice among sufferers. Works every time!

I saw doctor after doctor, whom never heard of such a thing, and confused the snot out them! They did every scan/MRI you can think of--nothing!

Living with the constant bombardment of serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin on the pleasure center of your brain is inhuman.

Without the love and empathy of "You": I don't think I could have survived that first year.

(January 6, 2018 at 5:38 pm)Haipule Wrote:

(January 6, 2018 at 4:02 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: This is either touching or disturbing, depending on the object. (object is still a sentence thing, right?)

The "object" in these sentences is "you". "You" is a same-ager woman who befriended me when I fragmented. She helped put back the pieces and help me to keep it together.

This is the disturbing part; five years ago I suddenly, out of nowhere, became symptomatic with PGAD--Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. What the FUCK is this!? What in HELL is going on? Alrighty, who is doing the voodoo? It got worse and worse until I was having orgasms in public for no fucking reason! Virtual 24/7 sexual pleasure that isn't even real! Yet, feels exactly the same! It's ok if you want to laugh! I laugh too.

Talk about confused and fragmenting! I was a complete basket case! It didn't want to confide in my wife. I didn't want to confide in anyone. But, I confided in "You" and "You" helped me research the problem and we discovered together that this problem had a name and that I wasn't the only one. However, learning that this was a rare disorder and extremely rare in males, and also, had no known cause, no known effective treatment, and no cure, was a bit disheartening. No off switch! Suicide is the cure of choice among sufferers. Works every time!

I saw doctor after doctor, whom never heard of such a thing, and confused the snot out them! They did every scan/MRI you can thing of--nothing!

Living with the constant bombardment of serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin on the pleasure center of your brain is inhuman.

Without the love and empathy of "You": I don't think I could have survived that first year.

So then touching. Can you guess what the disturbing "you" object might be???

CIJS

Smoking with you on that balcony in the middle of the night, looking out at the moon. That was probably the most calming and intimate moments I had in a while. That whole night was magical but you made it special. Time disappeared so hard. I liked feeling you lying next to me. I liked everything about it.

Am I paranoid, or do you feel at least kind of the same?

Please please please come on the trip with us. Please. Being around you for so long sounds like a dream. I just want to smoke with you forever.

(January 6, 2018 at 5:45 pm)mh.brewer Wrote:

(January 6, 2018 at 5:38 pm)Haipule Wrote: The "object" in these sentences is "you". "You" is a same-ager woman who befriended me when I fragmented. She helped put back the pieces and help me to keep it together.

This is the disturbing part; five years ago I suddenly, out of nowhere, became symptomatic with PGAD--Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder. What the FUCK is this!? What in HELL is going on? Alrighty, who is doing the voodoo? It got worse and worse until I was having orgasms in public for no fucking reason! Virtual 24/7 sexual pleasure that isn't even real! Yet, feels exactly the same! It's ok if you want to laugh! I laugh too.

Talk about confused and fragmenting! I was a complete basket case! It didn't want to confide in my wife. I didn't want to confide in anyone. But, I confided in "You" and "You" helped me research the problem and we discovered together that this problem had a name and that I wasn't the only one. However, learning that this was a rare disorder and extremely rare in males, and also, had no known cause, no known effective treatment, and no cure, was a bit disheartening. No off switch! Suicide is the cure of choice among sufferers. Works every time!

I saw doctor after doctor, whom never heard of such a thing, and confused the snot out them! They did every scan/MRI you can thing of--nothing!

Living with the constant bombardment of serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin on the pleasure center of your brain is inhuman.

Without the love and empathy of "You": I don't think I could have survived that first year.

So then touching. Can you guess what the disturbing "you" object might be???

I, being male, realized when I wrote the first post that someone might assume I was referring to a male. Yes, that would be disturbing. I have male friends too that didn't abandoned me. Being around males is actually soothing. Being around females is cranking me up as high as a kite! But, with "You", being a very beautiful same-age single female, at least everything I was feeling made sense. IOW's, it was connected to someone and not willy-nilly.

She confided in me that she fell in love with me at first sight. But, she is a strong Christian woman and would never allow herself to cross that line seeing that I am married. In fact, if I would have crossed that line, she would loose all respect for me. So we made a pact that if one of us was weak, the other must be strong.

Friendship between a man and a woman is not impossible but it is difficult because of the sexual tension. I feel that that tension made us both cry at times. She once said to me, "You would be the funnest man in the world to torcher!" Yes, we both became very weak at times but managed to be as strong as was necessary.

Even though, to me, she is "uneaten bread and unlived days", we never violated that line in the sand but it was not easy. She has remained a great friend and I'll never forget how much her love means to me. Yet, I also realize she made selfless sacrifices for my wellbeing.

You deserve so much better. Thank you for loving me anyway.

(January 6, 2018 at 7:01 pm)Haipule Wrote:

(January 6, 2018 at 5:45 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: So then touching. Can you guess what the disturbing "you" object might be???

I, being male, realized when I wrote the first post that someone might assume I was referring to a male. Yes, that would be disturbing. I have male friends too that didn't abandoned me. Being around males is actually soothing. Being around females is cranking me up as high as a kite! But, with "You", being a very beautiful same-age single female, at least everything I was feeling made sense. IOW's, it was connected to someone and not willy-nilly.

She confided in me that she fell in love with me at first sight. But, she is a strong Christian woman and would never allow herself to cross that line seeing that I am married. In fact, if I would have crossed that line, she would loose all respect for me. So we made a pact that if one of us was weak, the other must be strong.

Friendship between a man and a woman is not impossible but it is difficult because of the sexual tension. I feel that that tension made us both cry at times. She once said to me, "You would be the funnest man in the world to torcher!" Yes, we both became very weak at times but managed to be as strong as was necessary.

Even though, to me, she is "uneaten bread and unlived days", we never violated that line in the sand but it was not easy. She has remained a great friend and I'll never forget how much her love means to me. Yet, I also realize she made selfless sacrifices for my wellbeing.

I know you're a POE, are you being intentionally dense? Think man, think!

(January 6, 2018 at 7:19 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: You deserve so much better. Thank you for loving me anyway.

Aloha Catholic_Lady: Really? With your beautiful eyes, beautiful mouth, glorious hair and scrumptious long neck? Really?

(January 6, 2018 at 8:11 pm)Haipule Wrote:

(January 6, 2018 at 7:19 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: You deserve so much better. Thank you for loving me anyway.

Aloha Catholic_Lady: Really? With your beautiful eyes, beautiful mouth, glorious hair and scrumptious long neck? Really?

You do realize that CL is more than her looks, right? 

Why do men continue to objectify women this way?

---

(January 6, 2018 at 7:19 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: You deserve so much better. Thank you for loving me anyway.

I'm here if you need to talk

(January 6, 2018 at 8:04 pm)mh.brewer Wrote:

(January 6, 2018 at 7:01 pm)Haipule Wrote: I, being male, realized when I wrote the first post that someone might assume I was referring to a male. Yes, that would be disturbing. I have male friends too that didn't abandoned me. Being around males is actually soothing. Being around females is cranking me up as high as a kite! But, with "You", being a very beautiful same-age single female, at least everything I was feeling made sense. IOW's, it was connected to someone and not willy-nilly.

She confided in me that she fell in love with me at first sight. But, she is a strong Christian woman and would never allow herself to cross that line seeing that I am married. In fact, if I would have crossed that line, she would loose all respect for me. So we made a pact that if one of us was weak, the other must be strong.

Friendship between a man and a woman is not impossible but it is difficult because of the sexual tension. I feel that that tension made us both cry at times. She once said to me, "You would be the funnest man in the world to torcher!" Yes, we both became very weak at times but managed to be as strong as was necessary.

Even though, to me, she is "uneaten bread and unlived days", we never violated that line in the sand but it was not easy. She has remained a great friend and I'll never forget how much her love means to me. Yet, I also realize she made selfless sacrifices for my wellbeing.

I know you're a POE, are you being intentionally dense? Think man, think!

Well, I wasn't talking about Jesus on AF in a thread started by J a c k. That would be a dense POE. I give up.