RE: The Last Movie You Watched
May 8, 2019 at 7:19 pm
(This post was last modified: May 8, 2019 at 7:23 pm by Rev. Rye.)
This week in the Deep Hurting Project is The Master of Disguise.
This is the first film in the Project so far I actually saw in full before the year (and the Project) began. And remarkably, when I watched this the first time, I actually enjoyed it. So it can amuse autistic kids. But the last time I saw this film, it was on VHS. How well does it hold up to an autistic adult with a decade and half's worth of additional media sophistication? Honestly, for a movie with such a horrible reputation (it's still on IMDB's bottom 100), I think it may be the second-best film in the Project so far, behind Guardians. It's not actually good, mind you, and the problems are a lot more obvious, but there are times I can actually see a potentially decent film.
First, the major problems, just so we can get them out of the way:
That said, knowing about how it came to be, it makes you wish there could have been a decent version of this concept. In 1997, Dana Carvey underwent surgery for a blocked artery, and initially, the doctor went for the wrong goddamn artery. It took a while for him to recover, but he did, and he won an $8 million malpractice suit, and when he was well enough to work, he found a script that seemed to be interesting, and it had the dual advantages of playing to Dana Carvey's strength (giving him a chance to play multiple roles in a way that he couldn't really do since SNL or The Dana Carvey Show), and actually being family-friendly enough for his kids, certainly more family friendly than seeing Bill Clinton breast-feed puppies. No, I'm not kidding about that:
And people wonder why it only lasted eight episodes.
And seriously, a spy comedy with a disguise gimmick sounds like it would be amazing. At any rate, the Austin Powers series was sort of similar, with Mike Myers playing four roles, and the last movie was released the week before this movie was. But a superspy with a borderline-superhuman ability to become radically different people, played by a comic legend (at least at that time), that's a fascinating idea for a film. It's a shame it had all those problems mentioned above and more, derailing Dana Carvey's career so badly he didn't get another decent role in a movie until The Secret Life of Pets 14 years later.
But there is one more aspect of this I want to touch on, and I think it may be the reason I gave this movie so much leeway: Pistachio Disguisey (Dana Carvey's character) almost certainly has autism himself: when he's not in his disguise, he has one default facial expression that covers everything from delight to finding out his girlfriend dumped him (I myself have trouble actually expressing emotion); his habit of muttering to himself is a lot like something I do; an unnatural-sounding accent (the worst fake Italian accent I've ever heard, even though he lives in America and his mother is Edie McClurg), almost like actually speaking isn't natural for him; and most obviously, he has so little social awareness that he thinks nothing of mimicking people's vocal patterns (I shit you not, even I sometimes feel tempted to mimic other people's accents; I do know enough that other people might not see imitation as the sincerest form of flattery.) Indeed, the scene where he's talking with the Texan guy and he has a whirlwind of voices in his head seems like an (admittedly shitty) audiovisual representation of sensory overload.
And I think the film could have been much better if they played up the autistic savant angle with Pistachio. Fun fact: I was slow to learn how to talk, in fact I learned to read before I could actually talk properly, and I think it was looking at closed captions that I actually finally figured out the rudiments of learning to talk. And how did I get as eloquent as I am? Becoming obsessed with old movies, and a lot of the time, I ended up impersonating those famous actors with the distinctive voices. I legitimately think that if we saw shit like that, and we saw the struggles that he had to go through as a kid and how he coped by impersonating people, maybe showing him watching some famous old movies (Columbia no doubt has several worth watching in their library), it could go a long way in making the movie (and especially Dana Carvey) tolerable. And it certainly would have actually been longer than 80 minutes and they wouldn't have had to pad out the credits. Then again, if they turned a dark comedy about homophobia and gay marriage into I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, I can't expect Happy Madison to create a legitimate autism spy comedy.
This is the first film in the Project so far I actually saw in full before the year (and the Project) began. And remarkably, when I watched this the first time, I actually enjoyed it. So it can amuse autistic kids. But the last time I saw this film, it was on VHS. How well does it hold up to an autistic adult with a decade and half's worth of additional media sophistication? Honestly, for a movie with such a horrible reputation (it's still on IMDB's bottom 100), I think it may be the second-best film in the Project so far, behind Guardians. It's not actually good, mind you, and the problems are a lot more obvious, but there are times I can actually see a potentially decent film.
First, the major problems, just so we can get them out of the way:
- Many of Dana Carvey's personae are just loud and obnoxious (kind of defeating the whole point of being a "master of disguise") and most of them wear out their welcome in the span of 5 seconds. Not quite at Pauly Shore levels, though. And at least some of the disguises are good, especially the ones where Dana Carvey doesn't actually say anything; well, maybe some of the impressions (like Dubya), or maybe Terry Suave, just because he's less obnoxious (at least as long as you don't listen to the vacuous words he's actually saying).
- Apart from the cliche storm of a plot (secret agent coming out of retirement, save the parents, assigning a single mom to be Pistachio's assistant/love interest, theft of national treasures across the world), the writing is just shit. At one point, he actually says " And yet, Backstreet Boy, this is one girl who isn't content to be the Malcolm in *your* middle!"
- Ridiculous plot holes, many of which come from the studio's insistence on not having Grandpa help Pistachio, except when he's a pre-recorded hologram who responds to events he could not possibly have known about. Or the bad guy's decision to steal all this shit and sell it on eBay. Okay, Black MarkeBay, but still.
- Obvious low production values. Not quite at "CGIing Mike Myer's adult face on a child's body," but they're pretty clear, especially when we see the Disguiseys removing their disguises.
- The humour is juvenile, with lots of fart jokes, butt jokes, and Dana Carvey pretending to be a turtle and biting a dude in the face. Honestly, it was kind of obnoxious even then. And they still seem to expect kids to recognise Tony Montana and Quint from Jaws. Well, at least I did.
- Lots of padding, and it's just over 80 minutes. The credits are insanely long and bloated with outtakes and one of the longest post-credits scene I've ever seen in a film (2 minutes, 25 seconds!), involving Dana Carvey fighting with (and having a conversatio with) a dwarf dressed like Mario and asking the audience why they're still here.
- A dog named The Cuteness.
That said, knowing about how it came to be, it makes you wish there could have been a decent version of this concept. In 1997, Dana Carvey underwent surgery for a blocked artery, and initially, the doctor went for the wrong goddamn artery. It took a while for him to recover, but he did, and he won an $8 million malpractice suit, and when he was well enough to work, he found a script that seemed to be interesting, and it had the dual advantages of playing to Dana Carvey's strength (giving him a chance to play multiple roles in a way that he couldn't really do since SNL or The Dana Carvey Show), and actually being family-friendly enough for his kids, certainly more family friendly than seeing Bill Clinton breast-feed puppies. No, I'm not kidding about that:
And people wonder why it only lasted eight episodes.
And seriously, a spy comedy with a disguise gimmick sounds like it would be amazing. At any rate, the Austin Powers series was sort of similar, with Mike Myers playing four roles, and the last movie was released the week before this movie was. But a superspy with a borderline-superhuman ability to become radically different people, played by a comic legend (at least at that time), that's a fascinating idea for a film. It's a shame it had all those problems mentioned above and more, derailing Dana Carvey's career so badly he didn't get another decent role in a movie until The Secret Life of Pets 14 years later.
But there is one more aspect of this I want to touch on, and I think it may be the reason I gave this movie so much leeway: Pistachio Disguisey (Dana Carvey's character) almost certainly has autism himself: when he's not in his disguise, he has one default facial expression that covers everything from delight to finding out his girlfriend dumped him (I myself have trouble actually expressing emotion); his habit of muttering to himself is a lot like something I do; an unnatural-sounding accent (the worst fake Italian accent I've ever heard, even though he lives in America and his mother is Edie McClurg), almost like actually speaking isn't natural for him; and most obviously, he has so little social awareness that he thinks nothing of mimicking people's vocal patterns (I shit you not, even I sometimes feel tempted to mimic other people's accents; I do know enough that other people might not see imitation as the sincerest form of flattery.) Indeed, the scene where he's talking with the Texan guy and he has a whirlwind of voices in his head seems like an (admittedly shitty) audiovisual representation of sensory overload.
And I think the film could have been much better if they played up the autistic savant angle with Pistachio. Fun fact: I was slow to learn how to talk, in fact I learned to read before I could actually talk properly, and I think it was looking at closed captions that I actually finally figured out the rudiments of learning to talk. And how did I get as eloquent as I am? Becoming obsessed with old movies, and a lot of the time, I ended up impersonating those famous actors with the distinctive voices. I legitimately think that if we saw shit like that, and we saw the struggles that he had to go through as a kid and how he coped by impersonating people, maybe showing him watching some famous old movies (Columbia no doubt has several worth watching in their library), it could go a long way in making the movie (and especially Dana Carvey) tolerable. And it certainly would have actually been longer than 80 minutes and they wouldn't have had to pad out the credits. Then again, if they turned a dark comedy about homophobia and gay marriage into I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, I can't expect Happy Madison to create a legitimate autism spy comedy.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
![[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/yxR97P23/harmlesskitchen.png)
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
