(December 28, 2019 at 5:11 pm)Fake Messiah Wrote: Mine was when I was fighting terrorism in Iraq. I remember our airplane broke and we crash landed in the desert and only I survived. Since the terrorists were chasing me I had to hide my tracks like when I had to shit I first had to remove eyes from corpses and shit into the eye sockets so I wouldn't leave a trail.
Then I had to make some improvised weapons like bow and arrows from leg bones and nerves as a rope. But no matter how much you fight terrorists catch you and I ended up as a POW in a bunker made of steel. Now this was Russian steel which means you could throw an atom bomb on it and the explosion wouldn't make much as a dent on it. So in order to escape I took two brains from two dying POWs, wired them with my own brain by pulling nerves to my brain through the ears and achieved telekinesis for few minutes, which was enough to puncture that steel wall and escape.

But the worst thing was when I encountered an atom bomb set to detonate in few minutes. Now terrorists don't give you blue and red wire to cut and stop the timer, oh no, that's just some movie bullshit. What I did is that I lied down on the bomb and held it really tight, so that when it started exploding I squeezed every peace of it back to the bomb and explosion was negated.

I call those “Tuesdays”.

My late mother when she was still driving, long ago, took a trip to Alabama to go to a wedding one of her former students invited her to. We shared driving, and on the way, she was driving, blew a stop sign, and I swear, we were inches away from getting t-boned by a semi.

Nearest death experience? I have no idea. The Valkyrie ripped off her GPS tracking collar a while ago.

1. Ca '71, I was driving my '64 Malibu on Little Tujunga Canyon road at something above the posted speed limit. I went into a curve posted for 10 MPH at about 30 MPH, and slid to the edge of the road on the opposite side. I didn't teeter over like in a B-movie, but I was right there at the edge. 500 foot+ sheer drop. 

2. In '74, in the US Navy I had a mis-diagnosed ruptured appendix. I didn't die, (surprise!) and it was taken out 6 weeks later. 

3. In '96, I had an intestinal blockage due to swelling from the flu and scar tissue from the above-mentioned appendicitis. I lost 30 pounds in that go-round, in three weeks. 

Dunno. I had the whole archetypal light at end of tunnel, OOBE, nonsense. It did not impress me. Neither jebus nor any god rocked up.

1989 - passenger on a UH-1 (military helicopter) that very narrowly avoided a midair collision.

2011 - bilateral pulmonary embolism, and as serious as that was....

2013 - complications from influenza. It's frightening to know how quickly flu can go from just miserable sick to you-might-actually-die. That was -grim-.

(December 29, 2019 at 12:45 am)Jackalope Wrote: complications from influenza.  It's frightening to know how quickly flu can go from just miserable sick to you-might-actually-die.  That was -grim-.

Yeah. Some years ago, I went to my doc with an apparent pulled muscle. Promptly found myself in ICU with DVT at high risk of a heart attack or stroke. In fairness, the medics jumped on it straight away. Scary, but not a bit sorry because I am still vertical.

(December 29, 2019 at 12:58 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote:

(December 29, 2019 at 12:45 am)Jackalope Wrote: complications from influenza.  It's frightening to know how quickly flu can go from just miserable sick to you-might-actually-die.  That was -grim-.

Yeah. Some years ago, I went to my doc with an apparent pulled muscle. Promptly found myself in ICU with DVT at high risk of a heart attack or stroke. In fairness, the medics jumped on it straight away. Scary, but not a bit sorry because  I am still vertical.

Yep. That day, I felt off. Weak, fatigued. Drove myself to urgent care, nearly passed out ten feet from the door. Still sporting a filter in my inferior vena cava.

(December 29, 2019 at 2:15 am)Jackalope Wrote:

(December 29, 2019 at 12:58 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote: Yeah. Some years ago, I went to my doc with an apparent pulled muscle. Promptly found myself in ICU with DVT at high risk of a heart attack or stroke. In fairness, the medics jumped on it straight away. Scary, but not a bit sorry because  I am still vertical.

Yep.  That day, I felt off.  Weak, fatigued.  Drove myself to urgent care, nearly passed out ten feet from the door.  Still sporting a filter in my inferior vena cava.

Odd, is it not. The more mileage one accumulates, the more jebus seems to care not a whit whether one lives or dies. Almost as if biology was real, no?

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(December 29, 2019 at 2:15 am)Jackalope Wrote:

(December 29, 2019 at 12:58 am)Abaddon_ire Wrote: Yeah. Some years ago, I went to my doc with an apparent pulled muscle. Promptly found myself in ICU with DVT at high risk of a heart attack or stroke. In fairness, the medics jumped on it straight away. Scary, but not a bit sorry because  I am still vertical.

Yep.  That day, I felt off.  Weak, fatigued.  Drove myself to urgent care, nearly passed out ten feet from the door.  Still sporting a filter in my inferior vena cava.

Odd, is it not. The more mileage one accumulates, the more jebus seems to care not a whit whether one lives or dies. Almost as if biology was real, no?

Had a seizure last week while cleaning the oven and hit my head on the floor