Funny thing, I was just browsing Inceltears on a lark (RIP the non-toxic environment of r/IncelsWithoutHate), and I came upon this story. It's about a sex worker who had an encounter with an incel and a good part of it involved him interrogating her about what her boyfriend was like, and after she tears down all his blackpill arguments (her boyfriend is 5'7," pudgy, and has issues with self esteem, also likely an average-sized cock and not a lot of money,) he just gets angry and then talks about all the surgeries he's planning to do to Looksmaxx, even though he's "a completely normal looking guy. He had a good face, normal body, he was tall. His only noticeable physical flaw was some mild acne that easily could have been dealt with and even then I don’t think many women would be bothered by it." You'd think that at some point, he'd ask her something like "then what the fuck do I have to do to get a girlfriend I don't have to pay?" But the mindset is so entrenched that he can't think outside the blackpill. And the blackpill won't help him, because it's just reinforcing their helplessness and rage against him, and dancing around the big question:



Maybe the same mentality can apply to certain feminist groups, but at least feminists understand that for a lot of history it was the men who had all the cards (and still to this day, they still have most of them,) so they at least have the excuse of being accurate and not have an ideology built solely on self-serving bullshit. Partly, perhaps, but by no means entirely.

Ok, so, I've gone on and read up on some of the incel forums and the incel subreddits (which keep getting banned). Yeah, they're pretty nasty. Are they the same as feminists? Well, the more extreme, abrasive feminists have some in similar with them. I've found that it's less that they're really the same as much as they're equal opposites.

As for those extreme feminists, those kinda went down the tubes in 2016. When the president suddenly became a proud misogynist, they went from bitching about non-issues to bringing up legitimate concerns. I guess there's actually some good that came from the orange skinned sack of crap.

But I think the two biggest differences between incels and feminists are that, first, the really toxic incels kinda drive the movement while the really toxic feminists have fallen out of favor. Second, even the most toxic feminists try to be nice, try to claim they care about men and masculinity, but the incel groups, it's almost a given that they all seem to hate women and femininity.

(April 4, 2020 at 10:38 pm)Rev. Rye Wrote: You'd think that at some point, he'd ask her something like "then what the fuck do I have to do to get a girlfriend I don't have to pay?" But the mindset is so entrenched that he can't think outside the blackpill. And the blackpill won't help him, because it's just reinforcing their helplessness and rage against him, and dancing around the big question

That's because incels form an identity around negativity. What they don't have, what they aren't. And in doing so, become a black hole of angry nihilism.

Look, I know what it's like to feel trapped and frustrated. I even hid among MRAs for a while - it took the combined efforts of my wonderful mom and sister to pull me out of that hateful abyss. For me, my deep agony was over my gender dysphoria and a fear that I would lose everything, including my life, if I came out. Seven months later, I see how much that fear ruined my life and it leaves me in tears every now and then. It's horrible, feeling like you wasted your life and maybe damaged yourself forever. Feeling like maybe, even with therapy, you'll never recover and be who you were really meant to be.

I feel that for some who fall to the incel/MRA disease have a similar fear - a fear that when they make changes that will help them become their authentic self, they'll be torn apart by those feelings of regret, permanently lost opportunities and the soul breaking realization of how much of their life has been lost to their suffering. No, I'm not insinuating that they're trans (although some are) but that you feel a deep sense of loss when you start trying to pull yourself out of the hole occupied by despair. And handling it is not easy.

If you're not "living" but describe your existence as a "waiting room to die", then you're in dire need of help to overcome an issue within yourself. No amount of drugs, sex or hate can solve it, only mute or misdirect it briefly. I've lost nearly thirty years to the waiting room - I'm not interested in waiting any longer. I'd rather be myself, wholly and unconditionally, than pretend to be something I'm not. I confronted my deepest fear and embraced who and what I am. It's given me a sense of inner peace and a growing sense of self love. And I can see myself sharing that love with another, for the first time in my life.

Funny thing about that sort of shit, incels aren't in any way unfuckable aside from their being incels.

I wouldn't lead with it on a date.

(April 5, 2020 at 8:47 am)The Grand Nudger Wrote: Funny thing about that sort of shit, incels aren't in any way unfuckable aside from their being incels.  

I wouldn't lead with it on a date.

Some might currently look physically unattractive, I'll give them that, but I've learned a thing or two about physical beauty: it's more about knowing how to look good than just naturally looking good.  Hell, even people who have "natural good looks" put a lot of effort into looking good.  Skin care, hair care, eating healthy, taking care of your teeth, your smile, posture, fitness...... those are all things people put effort into.  Knowing what hair styles look good, knowing what clothes look good, reading people and knowing how to communicate effectively, those are all a part of being attractive.  I think, a lot of those incels, if they stopped with the self loathing and started thinking about what they can do to fix their problems, they would make a lot more progress.  But they don't.  It's a toxic community that just feeds on its own toxicity.

Ugly big-bodies with bad teeth, hair, and posture get laid with regularity. These fuckers have other problems, as you note.

(April 5, 2020 at 5:40 pm)The Grand Nudger Wrote: Ugly big-bodies with bad teeth, hair, and posture get laid with regularity.  These fuckers have other problems, as you note.

I recall seeing a Johnny Depp interview in which the host asked him something like, ‘Why do you think those stupid French bastards hate us so much?’ to which Depp replied, ‘Maybe because you just called them “stupid French bastards” ‘.

When you spend your online and real-life hours espousing a resentment of women for not sleeping with you, maybe THAT’S the reason women won’t sleep with you.

It ain’t rocket surgery, folks.

Boru

(April 5, 2020 at 5:40 pm)The Grand Nudger Wrote: Ugly big-bodies with bad teeth, hair, and posture get laid with regularity. These fuckers have other problems, as you note.

I have been banned from one forum ever.

I saw a quote on FSTDT from an incel website where the guy stated that every "bitch" and "whore" he had ever encountered always avoided him after their initial meeting, and that the two "relationships" he'd had ended quickly when the girls dumped him. He declared that he should therefore be able to go out and rape any "bitch or whore" he took a fancy to and there should be no consequence. And if the girl should get pregnant it's her own fault.

This compelled me to join said forum, quote him directly, and tell him that the common denominator in all those meetings and "relationships" is him and that perhaps he's so toxic in his attitudes that he drives people away.

I then suggested that he change and, if he is incapable of that, then he might find a way of removing himself from society with a handgun.

That SO unlike you. I am shocked.


Boru

(April 5, 2020 at 5:49 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: That SO unlike you. I am shocked.

Boru

I have NEVER claimed to be a nice person.