Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
(May 19, 2012 at 10:39 am)zentor Wrote: I became xtian at 16 , I'm 23 now, and before I was a happy normal guy
But that is when my mental problems started. Id randomly start crying and wanted to die.
Joined airforce after hs, got discharged after a year for suicidal personality.
Worked like 6 jobs that year, all fired/quit from mental breakdowns.
Been trying to do college, I join every year but havnt finished a semster cuz the breakdowns.
And I have been in treatment sincfe my af discharge. I do my best but I know god hates me and wants me to suffrr
I even try being agnostic but he still fuks me
I finally got a job at retail, yesterday wsa my second day and I again became suicidal and just left.
I can't live and I can't die - this is truly being fuked by god. There is no escape for me. Or hope. My grandma always told me, when god punishes us, he ties us up first so we can't escape.
If god loves me, why did he make me bipolar?
Tthats like telling a friend, "let me cut off one of ur arms, but its cool cuz ill help u do stuff sometimes"
Ok, it seems that you're getting very worked up by this whole religious thing. Obsessed about the idea that this god has it in for you.
Now I think the first thing you should do is distance yourself from religion. It's a load of bollocks to begin with. There is nothing to fear when it comes to religion. You're not going to hell, it doesn't exist. You're perfectly safe.
Focus on what you want out of life. Who do you want to be and how do you wish to live your life. What you do is entirely up to you. Put aside religion and focus on your life. You seem completely afraid of the idea of being harmed by this 'god' through hell. So, I think you should remove such ideas from your head. They have no basis in reality. It's religious nonsense made to scare people into religion. Ignore it.
Distance yourself from it. You do need to seek professional help.
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan
Mankind's intelligence walks hand in hand with it's stupidity.
Being an atheist says nothing about your overall intelligence, it just means you don't believe in god. Atheists can be as bright as any scientist and as stupid as any creationist.
You never really know just how stupid someone is, until you've argued with them.
zentor Wrote:I been in therapy and medications since 16!! I'm 23 now...noothings helping even they change my meds...
I'm not bipolar myself; I am unipolar. I have, just like you, been in therapy and on medications since I was sixteen. I'm 32 now, and only recently, within the last 2-3 years, did I finally gain enough control over my depression so that the majority of the time I am not depressed. It can take long periods of time to mature enough and learn enough to truly control mental illness.
The worst part can be when you start showing a little progress, and then life kicks you in the face leaving you no better off than when you started. I suggest doing some reading about how to control you emotions, and above all, never feel as if there is no way out. There always is, and hope that things will change is your most powerful weapon.
(P.S. Worrying about why god would do this to you isn't going to help the matter. It just distracts you from what you should be concentrating on. Focus on getting better, then deal with the god issue.)
I have not much more to add beyond what FNM said. I have bipolar disorder myself (onset at 16-17, misdiagnosed for 25 years). Finding the right medications is frustrating but very important. What was most helpful was therapy. Hang in there.
I split this thread off, because this was going way off topic from the OP's search for help.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
(May 19, 2012 at 10:39 am)zentor Wrote: I became xtian at 16 , I'm 23 now, and before I was a happy normal guy
But that is when my mental problems started. Id randomly start crying and wanted to die.
Joined airforce after hs, got discharged after a year for suicidal personality.
Worked like 6 jobs that year, all fired/quit from mental breakdowns.
Been trying to do college, I join every year but havnt finished a semster cuz the breakdowns.
And I have been in treatment sincfe my af discharge. I do my best but I know god hates me and wants me to suffrr
I even try being agnostic but he still fuks me
I finally got a job at retail, yesterday wsa my second day and I again became suicidal and just left.
I can't live and I can't die - this is truly being fuked by god. There is no escape for me. Or hope. My grandma always told me, when god punishes us, he ties us up first so we can't escape.
If god loves me, why did he make me bipolar?
Tthats like telling a friend, "let me cut off one of ur arms, but its cool cuz ill help u do stuff sometimes"
Please feel free to browse and participate in the thread I'm linking in this post. I would be more than happy to talk to you about your issues and try to lend a supportive ear. If you would rather keep it private, my inbox is always open. Please hang in there.
For the record, StatCrux, I agree with Phil and others: it is remarkably unethical and wildly inappropriate for you to hijack a thread by someone with genuine mental anguish to trash-talk atheism. While I usually appreciate your contributions in these forums, what you have done here is simply disgusting.
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when
called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
(Oscar Wilde)
