Interesting line on the radio today: "Marriage isn't about finding the right person, it's about being the right person."

Or it's about both.

or it's just another tired cliche that doesn't mean anything since a successful marriage, like most anything else, is not contingent on a single premise, but rather a myriad of thoughts, actions, ideas and platitudes.

(September 17, 2013 at 10:22 am)John V Wrote: "Marriage isn't about finding the right person, it's about being the right person."

The problem with that is what i consider myself as being the right person, someone else could consider me as being the wrong person.

My first fiance was a mamma's girl who was never going to move out of the house or do anything to upset her mother. Her mother identified me as a threat to that relationship and eventually worked on her daughter enough to break it off. All the love and devotion on my part made no difference. Had we married, we'd have eventually divorced.

My second fiance was in love with me and I was trying to return the feelings. "Trying" being the operative word. In retrospect, I wasn't doing her any favors by making the effort for something I was never going to feel. Had we gotten married, I can't imagine it would have been a happy one for either of us.

My wife's first husband was a very abusive man. Her self-esteem was much lower than it is now. Her devotion to him only prolonged the pain for her and delayed the inevitable divorce.

It's about both FINDING and BEING the right person. Deficiency in either one will cause the marriage to fail.

(September 22, 2013 at 5:12 pm)Cinjin Wrote: or it's just another tired cliche that doesn't mean anything since a successful marriage, like most anything else, is not contingent on a single premise, but rather a myriad of thoughts, actions, ideas and platitudes.

You'd think that from the way Christians think and act Jesus had come to abolish all shades of grey.

(September 22, 2013 at 9:11 pm)Faith No More Wrote:

(September 22, 2013 at 5:12 pm)Cinjin Wrote: or it's just another tired cliche that doesn't mean anything since a successful marriage, like most anything else, is not contingent on a single premise, but rather a myriad of thoughts, actions, ideas and platitudes.

You'd think that from the way Christians think and act Jesus had come to abolish all shades of grey.

Since the christards interpret their religion any way they feel on any given day, I'd say that jesus invented the "grey area." Hell, Glidden should have a color called 'Jesus Grey.'

If you want to fuck someone else, leave your current partner, or make rules with them that make that OK because they get to stray, too (this has worked out for several couples I know, but I'll be damned if I know how).

I've never cheated. I never would. If I was that hot and bothered by some other guy, I'd leave the one I have, and that would be a big mistake- ergo I'm not that hot and bothered about some other guy.

My advice? Have LOTS and LOTS of sex with hot people while you're young and unattached (but use a fricking condom, people!). Then you'll not only know special when you see it, but remember how special it is when temptation comes a callin'.

If you married young, I don't know what to tell you.

If I cheat, don't take it personally.

The person might be right at one point, but things happen and maybe at another point you realize that you are no longer right for each other.

Move on with freedom or stay there with loyalty. You pick.

I think "love forever" is rare. Then again, I'm not sure I've ever been entirely in love. My heart is dry when it comes to romance. I'm a skeptic and broken from the start. So, my opinion probably shouldn't matter.

Just sayin'. You can be free, or you can be with someone knowing that you must be loyal. You can't have both, unless the other person agrees.