(November 5, 2013 at 2:46 am)Ivy Wrote: My last pastor:

"The day my son masturbates will be the day I failed as a pastor."

No joke.

So I guess he failed when the kid turned about 12 or 13? Seriously, how does he expect to prevent that? And if he's successful, that kid's going to have serious sexual hangups when he's older.

I remember how horny I was when I was that age, and if I didn't have some sort of release I'd probably have gone crazy from testosterone poisoning, not to mention walking around with a permanent hard-on.

I tried to go cold turkey at age twelve because I thought I was sinning.

That went about as well as you'd expect.

The most important thing I learned in church is how much I detest lutefisk. Yet my grandma and dozens of other elderly Norweigian women ate that shit like it was candy when the local Lutheran church sponsered its annual lutefisk luncheon. All these years later, I still shudder to think of it. In comparison, the sermons weren't that painful.

(November 5, 2013 at 1:48 am)Godschild Wrote:

GC

Fix'd

(November 3, 2013 at 12:51 am)ToriJ Wrote: Just thought I would share some quotes from Christians I have interacted with that still to this day stands out in my mind. Even theists that I have shared these with have done double takes at them so I'm really interested to see what you guys think about these.

Quote:Good people go to hell, saved people go to heaven.

I was told this by the pastor of the baptist church I went to. It's interesting to me because usually they'll justify it by saying the people have done bad things, but he is actually bold enough to use the word good. But wait, there's more:

Quote:Satan doesn't torture people in hell, God does.

I wish I was joking. This is usually where they blame Satan. Not this time. The idea that God tortures people for eternity for not believing in him isn't too much of a stretch if you researched the old testament. He isn't exactly shy about getting his hands dirty. But the idea that there are people who actually accepts it is kind of terrifying...

Quote:People will believe anything to avoid the truth.

This speaks for itself.

Quote:Global Warming doesn't exist because there's no proof that it does.

....

Quote:Harry Potter is bad, he breaks the rules and gets his friends in trouble and magic is bad. Also, wizards are fighting other wizards, a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Paraphrasing since I can't remember the exact quote, but still. Huh? 1.) It's a work of fiction. 2.) Was there really a need to throw the bible quote in there?

Quote:Lesson: how to witness to cults

Okay, this sounds interesting. What do you got?

Quote:Cults: Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, Muslims, Wiccans

one man's cult is another man's religion.

Quote:People who believe in evolution are only throwing mud at the wall in the hopes that it sticks.

If that's them winging it I DO NOT want to see them when they're using their brains.

So, thoughts? Comments? Have anyone heard similar lines before or have their own they would like to share? Floor's open.

IF Global Warming does not exist - because there is NO PROOF it does - then why accept existence of the gods of religions - when there is NO proof any of them exist either?

(November 5, 2013 at 1:18 am)Bucky Ball Wrote:

(November 4, 2013 at 4:25 pm)ronedee Wrote: What would you call a group that follows a leader who talks about leaving behind your old life and to follow him?

The Charles Manson family ?

I didn't write that quote. Get your authors straight.

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(November 4, 2013 at 4:34 pm)Doubting Thomas Wrote:

(November 4, 2013 at 12:38 am)ronedee Wrote: Which brings us to "answers". If indeed you are looking for them. You have to think more like God.

Unfortunately Christians claim that God's mind is unknowable.

No... God actually claims that! And of people like yourself being the perfect model.

(November 5, 2013 at 4:18 pm)ronedee Wrote: I didn't write that quote. Get your authors straight.

He flubbed the quote. It happens. It's irrelevant to the question you were asked.

In church I learned that Krispy Kreme doughnuts are delicious, and the Worldwide Church of God was creepy.

(November 5, 2013 at 2:53 am)missluckie26 Wrote: FUCK that guy. and Fuck your whole goddamned congregation. The day you had to stand up in front of hundreds and apologize for being pregnant would have been the day I taped a red A to the pastors chest and flipped off the whole lot while yelling God isn't even real you stupid motherfuckers! I still can't believe people watched that shit.

LOL! What if (hypothetically of course) your president lied to you about .....say...healthcare?

....would you then [not] trust anyone at that point to tell you the truth about healthcare?

This is classic hypocrisy! Throw the baby out with the bath water stuff!

There are bad people around every corner! So, stay in your house and barricade the doors!!

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(November 5, 2013 at 4:22 pm)ToriJ Wrote:

(November 5, 2013 at 4:18 pm)ronedee Wrote: I didn't write that quote. Get your authors straight.

He flubbed the quote. It happens. It's irrelevant to the question you were asked.

How would you like me to misquote you? It won't matter?

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(November 5, 2013 at 4:24 pm)futilethewinds Wrote: In church I learned that Krispy Kreme doughnuts are delicious, and the Worldwide Church of God was creepy.

And what did they learn from you?

(November 5, 2013 at 4:29 pm)ronedee Wrote: How would you like me to misquote you? It won't matter?

Goofing up a code and intentionally misquoting someone are two different things. You still haven't answered my previous question.