(October 1, 2014 at 12:54 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote:

(October 1, 2014 at 12:43 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Next time, MLA, don't ask if you can sit next to some one, just do it!

You aren't in high school. People are less clique-y in college. Don't ask, just sit down next to a person, and don't force a conversation. When you think about it too much, when you try too hard, that's when it gets awkward. Don't try to impress people, don't focus on whether they like you or not, just be you. I know that sounds like a bunch of platitudes. But seriously, college is a time when you find out who you are. The first year can be full of transformation and growth. You have to get yourself out of the dorm, go to some events on campus. Even ones you might not have any interest in. Go to some sports events, go to some voluntary lectures, go to some student concerts. Find out what things you like, and you will be socializing at the same time.

The key is finding some confidence in yourself. You have to find a way to become confident in who you are. What other people think of you, how they respond to you, all these things become less important when you have confidence.

My guess is this guy thought you were hitting on him, and he got awkward and bounced in a hurry.

I want to chop off my own head.

Why? Don't let people dictate your emotions. He's one person and not all people will act that way. The world is filled with all kinds of people. And not everyone will accept or like you.

I would echo the part about not asking if you can sit somewhere - just do it.

If for whatever reason they don't want to talk to you, meh, move on to someone else.

For all you know they could be a serial killer and you dodged a bullet. Or worse, a JW.

(October 1, 2014 at 12:54 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote: I want to chop off my own head.

No self-mutilation necessary, it's college, don't care too much what people
think, you'll find a group that accepts you as you are. And hitting on someone isn't even illegal
Just be a bit more arrogantly comfortable with yourself (not too arrogant, just don't question your every move - you don't have to change completely to fit in, I don't think that works in the long run anyways).

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(October 1, 2014 at 1:00 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: I would echo the part about not asking if you can sit somewhere - just do it.

One might ask "is this seat taken" rather than "can I sit next to you". The former is polite and appropriately confident, the latter sounds a bit too middle school.

I hate people. I wish I could go stab someone.

(October 1, 2014 at 1:22 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote: I hate people. I wish I could go stab someone.

You might want to up the filters a bit and keep that shit from escaping the ol' brain case.

(October 1, 2014 at 1:22 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote: I hate people. I wish I could go stab someone.

For that little awkward situation? Pfff, get real, it's not a big deal. Save the stabbing for when they are trying to kill you.

(October 1, 2014 at 1:27 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote:

(October 1, 2014 at 1:22 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote: I hate people. I wish I could go stab someone.

You might want to up the filters a bit and keep that shit from escaping the ol' brain case.

Whatever. I hate living. I go through life, hating every moment of school, worrying about school and my own wellbeing, feeling miserable every day while everyone else lives their disgusting happy friend filled lives. There's no help. I have been to psychiatrists since I was like 8. It just fucking hurts. I hate my life. I don't give a fuck if I say something violent. I won't do anything. I just wish everyone who misinterprets me would just fucking slowly get churned feet first into a meat grinder. Fucking cops, students, parents, teachers, people who give me weird looks. I wish them the worst.

(October 1, 2014 at 1:34 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote:

(October 1, 2014 at 1:27 pm)JesusHChrist Wrote: You might want to up the filters a bit and keep that shit from escaping the ol' brain case.

Whatever. I hate living. I go through life, hating every moment of school, worrying about school and my own wellbeing, feeling miserable every day while everyone else lives their disgusting happy friend filled lives. There's no help. I have been to psychiatrists since I was like 8. It just fucking hurts. I hate my life. I don't give a fuck if I say something violent. I won't do anything. I just wish everyone who misinterprets me would just fucking slowly get churned feet first into a meat grinder. Fucking cops, students, parents, teachers, people who give me weird looks. I wish them the worst.

You..do know that many, many people have their own issues too, right? Even on this forum we have people that have gone through and are currently enduring some pretty rough shit. Acting like "everyone else" is having "disgusting happy friend filled lives" is not only inaccurate, it's harmful to yourself. And throwing out all this bile and vitriol against them sure as hell won't make you feel any better.

(October 1, 2014 at 1:34 pm)MusicLovingAtheist Wrote: Whatever. I hate living. I go through life, hating every moment of school, worrying about school and my own wellbeing, feeling miserable every day while everyone else lives their disgusting happy friend filled lives. There's no help. I have been to psychiatrists since I was like 8. It just fucking hurts. I hate my life. I don't give a fuck if I say something violent. I won't do anything. I just wish everyone who misinterprets me would just fucking slowly get churned feet first into a meat grinder. Fucking cops, students, parents, teachers, people who give me weird looks. I wish them the worst.

I doubt they wish the same for you. But hey, sometimes our own brains are our worst enemies. I hope you feel better soon.

You should be telling these things to a mental health professional; perhaps you are.

But, if the intent is to have friends and be happy, you might want to analyze the mind-set expressed in your violent-fantasy posts, and see, perhaps the problem is not those around you.

As one who has had many a conversation with psychologists, you do come to a point where you recognize your thinking is skewed, incorrect, whatever.

And, if you *truly* want to change things, you yourself must change. No one else can do it for you.