OK, I located the page, in full it reads:

"To my darling Candy. Thanks for a glorious night. It was a shame I destroyed your soul afterwards. I regret that, so I dedicate this book to you, to sow the seeds of discontent among man so that he may suffer as I do."

I have showed it to Satan, and he has said it is genuine.

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(January 29, 2015 at 8:26 am)watchamadoodle Wrote: I was surprised to discover that there are serious Christian theologians that believe God is dead.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_God_theology

I'm not sure if any of them believe Satan wrote the bible, but that part is easier to accept.

Interesting! I hadn't heard of that. They were nearly right, but in fact god died well before then and jesus never happened.

No theists so far seem bothered they are worshiping Satan. Oh well, can't say I didn't warn you.

If you will notice in Genesis, Satan is cursed for what can essentially be considered trying to help mankind. He entices Adam to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil - wouldn't that knowledge seem to be a good thing? I'd say that he sounds like a hell of a lot better guy than the bloodthirsty YHWH.

BTW - note the parallels of Satan being punished for helping man and Prometheus being punished for giving man the gift of fire

Satan and woman brought knowledge to mankind. That seems like a pretty positive event to me.

Well knowledge is positive unless you're wanting people to believe in talking donkeys, magical gardens, and jewish god-zombies

Houston Stewart Chamberlain wrote a book "Foundations of the 19th Century" that created the myth that Jesus was not Jewish but an Aryan who tried to bring reform to Judaism, for which he was executed. The idea that Paul, a Jew perverted Christianity was something Hitler believed. This was a basic dogma of the Nazi German Christian Church.

(January 29, 2015 at 4:15 am)robvalue Wrote: As the title says, Satan wrote the bible. He killed God, and has been impersonating him ever since. I was there, I witnessed it all. I'm happy to answer any questions about this to back up the story.

Here is my challenge. Can you prove me wrong?

It does make sense because Lucifer was only mention so many times in the NT so yeah bad ol' Yaweh is dead and Lucifer is god.

Or....Maybe god is hiding waiting for the people intelligent enough to not take any holy book on blind faith so that he can bring only the smart people to heaven. After all, who would want to spend eternity with people who can't see that holy books are full of idiocy? We atheists and agnostics will go to heaven and the religious people will be in hell except they won't know that they are in hell. They will mistakenly think that Satan is god because he wants constant praise and be content worshipping him forever while the rest of us are enjoying a the biggest party ever.

(January 29, 2015 at 4:15 am)robvalue Wrote: As the title says, Satan wrote the bible. He killed God, and has been impersonating him ever since. I was there, I witnessed it all. I'm happy to answer any questions about this to back up the story.

Here is my challenge. Can you prove me wrong?

Very clever, throwing the "you can't prove it didn't happen" card back at them.

But maybe that's why the OT and NT are so different. The NT is Satan's parody of the Bible written for a contemporary audience. The possibilities are as awesome as they are endless.

Thank you! As expected, none of them are interested in trying to prove me wrong. I guess they are all consulting their lawyers. But this is fun anyway. I think it's dawning on them that it might actually be true. Which it is.

Satan can confirm that the NT is a parody, yes. He was seeing how much he could change things while claiming they were staying the same, and get away with it. Turns out: a lot. I might ask him later if jesus was even inspired by anyone when he wrote him, or whether he just made him up.

(January 29, 2015 at 11:12 am)Nope Wrote: Or....Maybe god is hiding waiting for the people intelligent enough to not take any holy book on blind faith so that he can bring only the smart people to heaven. After all, who would want to spend eternity with people who can't see that holy books are full of idiocy? We atheists and agnostics will go to heaven and the religious people will be in hell except they won't know that they are in hell. They will mistakenly think that Satan is god because he wants constant praise and be content worshipping him forever while the rest of us are enjoying a the biggest party ever.

Wait.... what if only the atheists get to go to heaven and the christians well the bigots go to hell and the ones that aren't too bad go to heaven. I mean i would like to on the off chance talk to god and be like... why you dis? really just why you are a terrible babysitter and we were all wondering where you were and most of us was starving and dying thanks a lot...