Supporting Your Loved One without Supporting Their Religion? How?

[Rhondazvous]

I love my mother. She’s the greatest woman in the world. But I hate what the Church has done to her mind. She has actually told me that she is believing god that I will find myself in a situation where I have no choice but to call on Jesus. The last time we talked about god, we got into a terrible argument. It was all the more terrible because it was Mother’s Day. Now though she seems to have decided to just pretend like I’m still a Christian. Needless to say, I’ve not tried to encourage nor disabuse this delusion.

She is a singer and has a new CD of gospel music that she is promoting. Most of the songs I wrote myself when I was a Christian, my mother’s voice can take a song to heights and depths to which mere sound has no business going. Coupled with the lyrics that came straight from my heart, it’s a dynamic CD. She wants me to get really involved in promoting the music. Trouble is that while I want to support my mother, I don’t want to promote Christianity. As a professional web designer, I created a website for her music company. I told myself that I was doing this as a professional. But I wonder just how far I can go. More than once people have joined something based on what I had written. I’ve consoled myself by just doing my job as a web designer without putting any creative energy into promoting the music. But this is my music and my mother. I feel at the same time guilty and angry at being put in this position.

Have any of you had to choose between supporting a loved one and promoting religion? How do you strike a balance?

[brewer]

Myself, my wife, parents, sister, son........... all learned not to talk about it. It made them more uncomfortable than me. My wife and I just tease each other about it now. Every day she asks what the "atheists" are up to today? And every day I respond "not brain washing people".

[jenny1972]

if you are managing a website that promotes Christianity then you are managing a website that is promoting Christianity you can tell yourself your not putting any creative energy into it but isnt that what a website is creative energy to promote something ? if you are the administrator of the website it seems like you would have inside access to the distribution of this christian propaganda and are in a unique position to derail it somehow without your activities being detected ( make it difficult for people to order , lost orders , website problems , viruses' , exc. )

[Chad32]

I've got a christian grandmother that believes prophesy proves the bible, and she doesn't want to go to hell. I don't bring up religion unless she brings it up, and it's kind of awkward because I don't want to be snarky with her like I sometimes am over here. Plus I'm not as articulate in real life as I am on a board where I can organize my thoughts into a coherent post. I just count myself lucky that she's not nearly as hardcore as some christians I've heard of.

[vorlon13]

A very good friend of mine is really big on MCC. I tolerate his practice by noting the mere existence of a predominately LGBT Christian denomination drives the fundies/evangelicals nuts.

Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha.


I also try to refrain from sending him atheist funnies, etc. He's aware of my hostility to the fundies and evangelicals and actually shares in it.

[Minimalist]

She has actually told me that she is believing god that I will find myself in a situation where I have no choice but to call on Jesus.

Happens to me all the time.....


When my yard needs cleaning I always call Jesus



and he brings a few disciples.

[Rhondazvous]

if you are managing a website that promotes Christianity then you are managing a website that is promoting Christianity you can tell yourself your not putting any creative energy into it but isnt that what a website is creative energy to promote something ? if you are the administrator of the website it seems like you would have inside access to the distribution of this christian propaganda and are in a unique position to derail it somehow without your activities being detected ( make it difficult for people to order , lost orders , website problems , viruses' , exc. )

Kim David may have had such advice in mind.

Deviousness is not an option for me. Even if no one else ever knows, I will know. I have to sleep with myself and look myself in the mirror. If I sabotage the website, then I turn uncertainty into cowardice.

[Athene]

Business is business. If you think there's a possibility this endeavor could be lucrative for your mother and yourself, go for it. If there's little chance of that being the case, don't get sucked in....limit your involvement to a bare minimum, if at all.

[drfuzzy]

I read this post earlier today but did not have a good response.  I can relate, though.  I'm surrounded by very devout people.   And you have written some of the songs, you have a history of supporting your Mother in this way, and she expects it.  (Good luck with sales, btw.)   

It's really a puzzle, isn't it?   

I think what I would do in your shoes is to increase my support as webmaster, even though it supports Christianity.  I would try to think of it as just supporting your Mom's music.   (Which was once, or is, your music.)   Because you want her to have fun with this, enjoy it, and have some success, even if it is Christian.

I would swallow my irritation with the message.  Find a way to give support from a distance, and try to bite my tongue to keep from starting fights.  If you take the high road, but somehow manage to stand your ground on the overt support of Christianity, your Mother will see that you are being loving, controlled, and mature.   That should help with future ventures.