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(November 13, 2015 at 12:49 am)prmptuscerus Wrote: After attempting my life, I begged doctors for euthanasia, but they obviously denied it to me. Why? Why did they deny this to me? Sitting where I am, doing what I'm doing, locked in this hell of meaninglessness, why would they not grant me peace?
t looks down on me for what I've become? You can't leave, but what you are is terrible.
Why can't I die if there is no meaning and no hope?
I felt the same way when I was suicidal and I too have attempted suicide in the past. I took 10 times my daily dose of Lithium 5 years ago when I was 22.
I can empathize with what it's like to want to be allowed to die. I've been at the absolute bottom too.
5 years later and I'm very happy and declared mentally well. For me the mental unwellness was a 7 year long hellish road but that road didn't feel 7 years it felt like an eternity, but however long it was.... it did come to an end and life is worth living.
(November 13, 2015 at 2:06 pm)drfuzzy Wrote: I have been suicidal - quite a lot in my life. I've been there. I'm actually quite amazed that you are here, searching for responses. When I have been at my worst points, I really didn't care what anyone had to say to me. I still have my moments. They aren't fun.
But in retrospect, even though life can still be really nasty sometimes, I'm glad that I didn't succeed. I'm glad that I didn't hurt my brother and my cousins. (The only family I have left.) Because life has had some really lovely moments too. I can name many times when I have thought "I would have missed this. I would have never gotten to experience this, if I had succeeded." And while I'm very introverted by nature, I have learned that I am healthier when I have human interaction. Get out, do something. I heartily recommend something that helps those less fortunate than yourself.
I don't think suicide is a sin - - although the pain it can cause your family and friends could be horrific. However, if you are not in physical pain, then you have hope of finding your way out of the mental/emotional pain. I think there are times when suicide can be justified. I think there are many more times when it is a waste of potential: potential to do good for others, to create something of value, to appreciate beauty. We are more than just human breeders, you know.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.
(November 13, 2015 at 4:00 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote:
(November 13, 2015 at 2:06 pm)drfuzzy Wrote: I have been suicidal - quite a lot in my life. I've been there.
I'm actually quite amazed that you are here, searching for responses. When I have been at my worst points, I really didn't care what anyone had to say to me. I still have my moments. They aren't fun.
But in retrospect, even though life can still be really nasty sometimes, I'm glad that I didn't succeed. I'm glad that I didn't hurt my brother and my cousins. (The only family I have left.) Because life has had some really lovely moments too. I can name many times when I have thought "I would have missed this. I would have never gotten to experience this, if I had succeeded." And while I'm very introverted by nature, I have learned that I am healthier when I have human interaction. Get out, do something. I heartily recommend something that helps those less fortunate than yourself.
I don't think suicide is a sin - - although the pain it can cause your family and friends could be horrific. However, if you are not in physical pain, then you have hope of finding your way out of the mental/emotional pain. I think there are times when suicide can be justified. I think there are many more times when it is a waste of potential: potential to do good for others, to create something of value, to appreciate beauty. We are more than just human breeders, you know.
Aw, thanks Rocket! (what a cutie!) And I would have missed meeting the folks here on AF . . . !!!
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
November 14, 2015 at 1:10 am (This post was last modified: November 14, 2015 at 1:13 am by Edwardo Piet.)
First thing I said after after the 8 weeks on an acute mental health ward after my suicide attempt: "I'm glad I failed."
I know that feeling Drfuzzy.
And in my case even today, I feel glad to be alive.
And I mean more glad than before I was ever ill in the first place 3 years before my attempt. I mean I feel lucky. Massively appreciative to be here. I could have died.
Same here.... and I used to be even more stubborn than I am now: and not just because I was depressed and everything bad felt like it would last forever!
I become less biased as I get older and it's my greatest achievement of my life thus far: To be more and more free from bias. Also to be less egotistical. And more tactful and prosocial. And both more realistically cynical and less unrealistically cynical.
November 14, 2015 at 1:48 am (This post was last modified: November 14, 2015 at 1:50 am by Alex K.)
I've never felt even remotely suicidal, nor have I ever suffered from serious mental health problems. Therefore I cannot relate at all to your problem on a personal level. So all I can say is - get all the professional help you can, for the chance that things will improve and there will be a day when, like others here, you will say "I'm glad that I'm still around". And don't listen to Kitan, he is a fan of murdering random innocent people to curb overpopulation, too.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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