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rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 11:37 am
It's time once again to rewrite the bible 
If you want to add on feel free to do so.
Priest hood
1. Children are not welcome into church.
2. No proselytizing your beliefs.
Foreshadowing
There may or may not be something after we die
it doesn't mean we shouldn't take care of this world let's
take care of it for the future generations.
Practical application
praise [insert being of origin here] for doing nothing.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today.
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 12:40 pm
???? Why did you start a new thread? Are you planning to abandon your last thread when you get in over your head, and move to this one?
Do you think I'm going to just let the other one go without something to say in this thread?
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 12:49 pm
(March 14, 2016 at 12:40 pm)Drich Wrote: ???? Why did you start a new thread? Are you planning to abandon your last thread when you get in over your head, and move to this one?
Do you think I'm going to just let the other one go without something to say in this thread?
No i am rewriting the bible one chapter at a time i still have a long ways to go.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today.
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 12:51 pm
(March 14, 2016 at 12:40 pm)Drich Wrote: ???? Why did you start a new thread? Are you planning to abandon your last thread when you get in over your head, and move to this one?
Do you think I'm going to just let the other one go without something to say in this thread?
I'm sure it will be as fucking worthless as everything else you have to say, too.
Why don't you tell us about your stupid-assed bible again, Drippy?
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 2:08 pm
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Oh yeah tatoo's they are fine as well.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today.
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 8:30 pm
(This post was last modified: March 14, 2016 at 8:31 pm by Cecelia.)
(March 14, 2016 at 12:49 pm)dyresand Wrote: No i am rewriting the bible one chapter at a time i still have a long ways to go.
You could save yourself some time. Two topics.
Old Testament: Yahweh is God. Worship him, or you'll go to hell. Also don't eat shellfish, pork, wear clothes of mixed fabric, or have gay sex. There's also some fairy tales about Yahweh committing genocide but having a guy named Noah save two of every animal on earth in a wooden boat, along with his wife and kids and their wives. Another about Adam and Eve eating an apple from a talking snake. And then there's the one about Moses saving Hebrews from being slaves and Egypt. And one about Lot's wife getting turned into a pillar of salt for looking back at a city Yahweh Destroyed. Oh, and the most important one of all: Yahweh lets Satan fuck with Job's life, kills his kids, his wife, takes everything from him all because of a bet. Not the best of bed time stories for children, especially the one with the woman who's lover had genitals that were like those of Donkey's and who's emission was like that of Horses.
New Testament: Jesus is Yahweh. The Father is Yahweh. The Holy Spirit is Yahweh. But Jesus isn't the father, and Jesus isn't the Holy Spirit. Jesus said "Golden Rule is Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" then said "fuck it," and decided the new golden rule was that you had to believe in him. He then got nailed to a cross by some Romans, came back to life three days later. He performed miracles like turning water into wine, walking on water, and getting the White Sox to win a world series (actually the last one's not true) (Spoilers: the others aren't true either). Also some guy named Paul was involved in all of this, and Peter.
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 8:32 pm
The whole story does seem rather silly, doesn't it?
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 9:40 pm
(March 14, 2016 at 8:30 pm)Cecelia Wrote: (March 14, 2016 at 12:49 pm)dyresand Wrote: No i am rewriting the bible one chapter at a time i still have a long ways to go.
You could save yourself some time. Two topics.
Old Testament: Yahweh is God. Worship him, or you'll go to hell. Also don't eat shellfish, pork, wear clothes of mixed fabric, or have gay sex. There's also some fairy tales about Yahweh committing genocide but having a guy named Noah save two of every animal on earth in a wooden boat, along with his wife and kids and their wives. Another about Adam and Eve eating an apple from a talking snake. And then there's the one about Moses saving Hebrews from being slaves and Egypt. And one about Lot's wife getting turned into a pillar of salt for looking back at a city Yahweh Destroyed. Oh, and the most important one of all: Yahweh lets Satan fuck with Job's life, kills his kids, his wife, takes everything from him all because of a bet. Not the best of bed time stories for children, especially the one with the woman who's lover had genitals that were like those of Donkey's and who's emission was like that of Horses.
New Testament: Jesus is Yahweh. The Father is Yahweh. The Holy Spirit is Yahweh. But Jesus isn't the father, and Jesus isn't the Holy Spirit. Jesus said "Golden Rule is Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" then said "fuck it," and decided the new golden rule was that you had to believe in him. He then got nailed to a cross by some Romans, came back to life three days later. He performed miracles like turning water into wine, walking on water, and getting the White Sox to win a world series (actually the last one's not true) (Spoilers: the others aren't true either). Also some guy named Paul was involved in all of this, and Peter.
My rewrite of the bible has [insert being of origin here] only doing nothing just a much more
practical version of the bible that is based in reality.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization join today.
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RE: rewriting the bible part 3 - Leviticus
March 14, 2016 at 9:50 pm
Can we invent new, more interesting characters?
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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