new atheist need advice

[afrist34]

I became an atheist very recently.  I grew up evangelical Christian.  This past year I did a lot of questioning and searching and thought about joining different religions, but rejected this because I realized the same fundamental problems existed in each of them.  I tried universalism and agnosticism but eventually found myself confirmed in atheism.  Now I feel content in my beliefs but not at all comfortable sharing them with most of the people I know.  I’m very close with my parents and for those who know evangelical Christians pretty well you know that if they find out you don’t believe in their God they will evangelize you for the rest of their lives, even when you stand up for your right to dissent.  I don’t want to face that for the rest of my life with my parents yet I also hate living with a huge secret and really dislike still pretending to be a Christian.  Have any of you been in this situation –any advice?

[Chad32]

First make sure you're out on your own before telling your parents. That's generally the safe bet, so you don't have to live under the same roof with them. After that, you can take the chance with your closest family and friends. or you can just let it all out online.

[Mister Agenda]

Mileage varies, but usually Unitarian Universalism is compatible with atheism. It's a good place to meet other atheists. You might also check Meetup to see if there's a group in your area.

My father's side of the family knows I'm an atheist, and you're right, it's been nothing but evangelizing ever since. Fortunately I live in a different state; which may not be an option for you.

[mlmooney89]

Chad32 makes a very valid point. No reason to burn bridges while they support you. It is a little difficult giving advise when we don't know you, your family, or lifestyle because we might give what we think is good advise but in your situation could make things worse. I personally wonder if hinting at it to feel their reaction out might be a good way to start. Also making sure you make a point when it all comes out that you tell them you don't think they are stupid for believing what you now think is fake. They might feel attacked by your lack of belief.

[account_inactive]

Welcome to the forums!

[purplepurpose]

Padawn, how could you betray the magnificence of the light side? There is only death in the dark side of the force. Return to your righteous duty before its not too late.

[robvalue]

Hello, welcome to the forum and well done on fighting out of your religion

I'm sorry you're having to keep it to yourself. I quite understand. If you feel people around you will react poorly and start preaching at you, it probably is best to play along until you're independent. Use us as an outlet to vent your frustration and talk everything over.

If you find you really can't keep it in any longer, I have some advice on my website here for handling family and friends. It's a matter of weighing up the frustration versus the fallout, and only you can decide which is best.

[brewer]

Welcome!

[Whateverist]

Like everyone says: tough out whatever guilt you are experiencing and wait until you are completely solvent and independent to tell them. Think of it as preserving your relationship as much for them as for you, if that helps.

When you're ready to tell them, if it fits for you, you can emphasize that you're fine with their belief .. you just don't and can't share it. Many ways to go, but careful with the timing.

[Athene]

Hello, and welcome.

It would be helpful to know more about your current situation, such as how dependent you are on your family, whether they're dangerously insane or just overbearing and annoying, your generally ability to cope with with others' disappointment and disdain, etc. I would typically discourage anyone from pretending to believe, but I recognize that may not always be the best option for everyone, at least in the short-term.

I didn't inform my family of my view change for a good while, because I just didn't feel like hearing the yammering. They figured it out soon enough though, because I never felt compelled to pretend to believe; Apparently, silence actually does speak volumes. A few, including my mother didn't take it well at all. I was "banished" for a bit, though I've been banished many times for many things, to be fair. I learned how to get by without my family long ago, so it was no big deal to me. 

They got over it, at any rate. 
I should say that my situation is a bit unique in that my family has come to rely on me in certain matters though, and I don't rely on them on them at all; so they really had no choice.