meaningless sex, or loving affection?

[Catholic_Lady]

A spin off from Rob's poll which I found very interesting but not quite specific enough. 

Poll Question: If you could only choose to keep one, which would it be? Meaningless, affectionless sex with a person/persons you don't care about, or non sexual, genuine affection (kissing, hugs, cuddling, etc) with someone you love and who loves you? 

[brewer]

Neither.

[Iroscato]

Chemical castration.

[Neo-Scholastic]

If in a terrible car crash my wife was paralyzed from the waist down I would continue to faithfully love her for the rest of my life...for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

[Mystical]

Before I vote..Why is it either or and why is there an "other" choice?

You can have meaningless sex with people/s and genuine affection from a loving partner (who may just be able to fulfill you sexually as well!), so, why not have both?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the...ionships-1

For people in monogamous relationships, it can be hard to imagine how polyamorists can nurture emotional connections with multiple partners simultaneously. In a society with too few rites of passage, “settling down” into a monogamous relationship is one of the few remaining hallmarks of maturity. Non-monogamy, in contrast, can appear immature, insincere, and insecure.

Having to face their insecurities, question their motives, and consider their own boundaries almost forces poly people to either get to know themselves, or leave the relationship style. Much like some serial-monogamists, those polys who neither come to grips with their issues nor leave the relationship style tend to go from one dramatic relationship explosion to the next.

[Catholic_Lady]

Before I vote..Why is it either or and why is there an "other" choice?

You can have meaningless sex with people/s and genuine affection from a loving partner (who may just be able to fulfill you sexually as well!), so, why not have both?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the...ionships-1

For people in monogamous relationships, it can be hard to imagine how polyamorists can nurture emotional connections with multiple partners simultaneously. In a society with too few rites of passage, “settling down” into a monogamous relationship is one of the few remaining hallmarks of maturity. Non-monogamy, in contrast, can appear immature, insincere, and insecure.

Having to face their insecurities, question their motives, and consider their own boundaries almost forces poly people to either get to know themselves, or leave the relationship style. Much like some serial-monogamists, those polys who neither come to grips with their issues nor leave the relationship style tend to go from one dramatic relationship explosion to the next.

It's a "if you had to pick just one" type question.

[Divinity]

Meaningless sex. At my age, I doubt I'm going to find a partner who wants to do the whole 'falling in love' bullshit. I've already had enough kids, and I'm too old to have any more.

[Catholic_Lady]

If in a terrible car crash my wife was paralyzed from the waist down I would continue to faithfully love her for the rest of my life...for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

Of course! 

[Joods]

I voted other.

Simply put, I'm in a relationship where currently, I have zero sexual desire. I'm tired all the time and I have some physical health problems that I need to deal with. At the same time, I get frustrated because I feel like I have to constantly remind the other adult in this house to step up and help out around here because I physically cannot do much. That said, we still love each other. We still hold hands - even when driving in the car. We put our arms around each other and we are affectionate with one another.

So when I get back to being myself physically, I see no reason to continue having this lack of sexual desire. And when I do want to have sex again, It will only be with my man because I am faithful to him and him only. As he is to me. I was raised that if you are so miserable in a relationship that you feel you need to stray, be considerate enough to leave that person and not cheat on them.

[Mystical]

If in a terrible car crash my wife was paralyzed from the waist down I would continue to faithfully love her for the rest of my life...for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

Fair enough but lets reverse the role situation--since she's still able to be emotionally amd physically intimate with you (youd just have to do the legwork for her so to speak), what's the comparison you're trying to make? And why specify waist down? Is neck down paralysis off the table for you?

How bout if you were paralyzed waist down? What if she couldn't handle i you not being able to be sexually intimate with her? Would you let her have sex with someone else, try to please her with other means (ie: vibrators), would you pull the "till death do us part" celibacy by circumstance card, or would you set her free *if she was unhappy. I'm NOT saying you cant have a fulfilling relationship in such a circumstance, I'm just wondering your thoughts on an actual relationship crisis situation?

---

Before I vote..Why is it either or and why is there an "other" choice?

You can have meaningless sex with people/s and genuine affection from a loving partner (who may just be able to fulfill you sexually as well!), so, why not have both?

It's a "if you had to pick just one" type question.

But.. but.. whats the  "other" choice, then?