|
Is being a virgin a turnoff for girls in college
|
 (January 11, 2017 at 4:25 pm)Alasdair Ham Wrote:(January 11, 2017 at 4:13 pm)Alex K Wrote: The person I lost my virginity with couldn't help but laugh because I was so clumsy the first time. Well, as long as she's having fun. I'm a leftie, so...
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
Hey, let's leave the politics out of the sex talk commie!
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
 (January 11, 2017 at 3:43 pm)It_Was_me Wrote: I'm 23, a junior in college and I've never slept with, kissed, made out or had sex with a single girl in my 23 years of existence! Someone told me once that I'll probably remain a virgin for the rest of my lifetime since girls find that to be a huge turnoff. I don't know, it doesn't help that I'm very shy either. I dress normally, not weird and have good hygiene. I usually wear black or blue vans with black socks and then tan or olive cargo shorts and a plain t shirt. Sometimes long, and short depending on the weather. And I'm usually wearing a baseball cap. I wear deodorant, take showers regularly and brush my teeth. But I guess since I'm not drop dead gorgeous girls just aren't attracted to me Don't believe the lie that girls in general don't like men who are "too nice." Every girl is different, but the ones who like bad boys are probably not the type of girls you want to be with anyway. My husband's sweet, calm demeanor and his lack of being a "play boy" were actually some of the traits that attracted me to him the most when I first met him at 19 years old. He was a virgin at that time as well, though he had had one girlfriend but they never did anything past kissing. I actually really appreciated his virginity and the fact that he took those things seriously and wanted to wait for marriage. Don't think of yourself as lesser for not having had sex with someone yet. There is 0 reason to feel that way. As for some advice, beyond having good hygiene, try taking care of yourself as well... if you don't already. Work out, eat healthy, and dress appropriately. As a plus, you will feel more confident in yourself when you do those things, and that may help you break out of your shell and meet more people.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh 
I got mine at 19, thought I would die a virgin ... and it took me a long time to learn that women respond to confidence, and can smell insecurity a mile away. I'm average-looking, a little shy, but know how to put my best foot forward now ... after a bit of practice.
Stop aiming for sex, ask out gals you like, and don't let the first, or tenth, "no" stop you.  
In general it's like any other market place where experience and confidence is valuable.
But there's exceptions and nuances. For example among religious people experience in sex might be seen as a bad thing. Some people have natural confidence no matter what the circumstances but for me I very slowly gained confidence and experience over time. I lost my virginity at 18, and didn't have much sex until I reached 25 years old where I went a bit wild. Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them. Impersonation is treason. 
You'll be fine.
I agree with the majority of people here so far. By far the most important thing is confidence. If you are confident in yourself, not necessarily your sexual abilities/experience, you'll be just fine. As long as you know where things go, and you let the woman you're with guide you, the first time will be short and disappointing like everyone else's. Then you can get to practicing and honing your skills.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<--- 
Mortals. My first time was superb.
![[Image: rySLj1k.png]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.imgur.com%2FrySLj1k.png) If you have any serious concerns, are being harassed, or just need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me via PM RE: Is being a virgin a turnoff for girls in college
January 11, 2017 at 5:23 pm
(This post was last modified: January 11, 2017 at 5:29 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
"Letting the girl guide you" is a bit like letting jesus take the wheel. You're gonna hit that ditch either way. She's just as clumsy and twice as nervous. Might get some surprise 5th base, though, #silver linings.
@Iro. I knew I wasn't the only one.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Real talk right now, and I want to make it clear I'm speaking in generalizations, girls will find a guy that's a virgin a turn off. Could you find a girl that is fine with you being a virgin? Yes. But in your age bracket there's slim pickings to find that unicorn. Here's the thing though man, I'm not saying you're a lost cause, and whoever told you you were going to be a virgin the rest of your life is bullshit. My advice is this:
1. Confidence. Confidence is key man, out of any of the advice I give, if you at least have confidence you'll do fine. Does physical attractiveness weigh in at a certain level, yes. But take it from a fat dude, confidence will get you there by itself 90% of the time. Girls are more attracted to us mentally, looks helps to fill in the gaps, and if you're a better looking guy then you can fill larger gaps. Just get out there, start talking to girls, make interesting conversations with them. You can talk about anything, just be interesting and outgoing. 2. Be funny. This is kinda hard to give you advice on, because some people just are or aren't naturally funny, but this is important as well. Just try and make an effort to be funny when you're talking to girls. If you're not, at the end of the night, just kinda self review what you could have done differently and try to adjust for next time. 3. Look good. You know how I said looks fill in the gaps? Fill in those gaps. There's only so much you can do if you don't have conventially good looking traits. But you can hit the gym, dress a little better, get a nice haircut, etc. Stand out a little bit. Buy some cologne too. It's one thing to not stink, it's an entirely different thing to smell good. 4. Don't be extra nice guy. Now I want to clarify, you don't have to be a mega asshole or the douche that negs on girls all night. But don't bend over backwards trying to make her happy or check in on her all night either. Just let her do her thing and you do. Honestly be a little bit of an asshole, but just in a teasing kind of way. And do don't be afraid to tell a girl no either, don't get taken advantage of our their in the singles scene. Be firm, and hold your ground. I could really go on forever talking about this stuff, but that's the basics of what you should focus on right now, and try to get your horse out of the gate and on to the racetrack. |
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
