Is being a virgin a turnoff for girls in college

[Catholic_Lady]

Real talk right now, and I want to make it clear I'm speaking in generalizations, girls will find a guy that's a virgin a turn off.  Could you find a girl that is fine with you being a virgin?  Yes.  But in your age bracket there's slim pickings to find that unicorn.  Here's the thing though man, I'm not saying you're a lost cause, and whoever told you you were going to be a virgin the rest of your life is bullshit.  My advice is this:

1. Confidence.  Confidence is key man, out of any of the advice I give, if you at least have confidence you'll do fine.  Does physical attractiveness weigh in at a certain level, yes.  But take it from a fat dude, confidence will get you there by itself 90% of the time.  Girls are more attracted to us mentally, looks helps to fill in the gaps, and if you're a better looking guy then you can fill larger gaps.  Just get out there, start talking to girls, make interesting conversations with them.  You can talk about anything, just be interesting and outgoing.

2. Be funny.  This is kinda hard to give you advice on, because some people just are or aren't naturally funny, but this is important as well.  Just try and make an effort to be funny when you're talking to girls.  If you're not, at the end of the night, just kinda self review what you could have done differently and try to adjust for next time.

3. Look good.  You know how I said looks fill in the gaps?  Fill in those gaps.  There's only so much you can do if you don't have conventially good looking traits.  But you can hit the gym, dress a little better, get a nice haircut, etc.  Stand out a little bit.  Buy some cologne too.  It's one thing to not stink, it's an entirely different thing to smell good.

4. Don't be extra nice guy.  Now I want to clarify, you don't have to be a mega asshole or the douche that negs on girls all night.  But don't bend over backwards trying to make her happy or check in on her all night either.  Just let her do her thing and you do.  Honestly be a little bit of an asshole, but just in a teasing kind of way.  And do don't be afraid to tell a girl no either, don't get taken advantage of our their in the singles scene.  Be firm, and hold your ground.

I could really go on forever talking about this stuff, but that's the basics of what you should focus on right now, and try to get your horse out of the gate and on to the racetrack.

I agree with the confidence and with the look good. I'd say though, don't mistake confidence for being really talkative or outspoken. Just be at ease with yourself and don't be awkward. You can be shy in nature and a little quiet while still being confident. 

Being funny is a plus if that's how you are, but don't try too hard if it doesn't come naturally. It's kind of obvious and comes off dorky when you can tell a guy is trying to be funny to impress a girl. Just be yourself, and be at ease with being yourself. 

The 4th one I will completely disagree with though lol. There's nothing I dislike more than a guy who "plays games" and is a little bit of an A-hole on purpose. This doesn't mean you have to let yourself be taken advantage of though.  

Like others have said, every girl is different. That's just my personal take.

[account_inactive]

Fuck what everyone else thinks.

[Mermaid]

It's not a sign you wear on your forehead.

[brewer]

Lets take this in steps.

1. Watch the "40 Year Old Virgin" enough times to have it memorized.
2. Practice kissing on the back of your hand. Not to much tongue at first. 
3. Check out all of the mammograms vids you can find.
4. Give yourself a vacuum cleaner hicky. Lets the girls know your available.
5. Find an "older" woman that enjoys "teaching".
6. Stop telling girls that Bill Cosby is your hero. 

Actually, forget all that, except number 6. It'l happen when it happens. Your balls won't turn blue and your dick won't rot off.

[BrokenQuill92]

I'm 23, a junior in college and I've never slept with, kissed, made out or had sex with a single girl in my 23 years of existence! Someone told me once that I'll probably remain a virgin for the rest of my lifetime since girls find that to be a huge turnoff. I don't know, it doesn't help that I'm very shy either. I dress normally, not weird and have good hygiene. I usually wear black or blue vans with black socks and then tan or olive cargo shorts and a plain t shirt. Sometimes long, and short depending on the weather. And I'm usually wearing a baseball cap. I wear deodorant, take showers regularly and brush my teeth. But I guess since I'm not drop dead gorgeous girls just aren't attracted to me

I'm not expecting some super model to fall out of the sky and want to date me right away. But I just feel like I have zero attractive traits whatsoever and that girls just aren't attracted to me. 

Like I said, I'm not weird or anything. I'm just shy and keep to myself. I am a very nice person though. Maybe I'm too nice? My Mom has told me I'm quite a great listener as well. 

I don't live on campus either, I live by myself.

First can men stop with this "too nice" bullshit. There's no certain amount of niceness that's going to make a woman want to fuck you. That's not how it works. Now then, most women don't care about sexual experience. As a matter of fact personally I'm a girl who's a bit picky, I'd rather be with someone I can learn with together. Go read The Ethical Slut. Read some books on women by women. Talk to girls. We like connection. Conversations. Talk about things you have passion for, find people with similar interests.When it comes to sex just go slow, ask questions, it's totally okay to look stupid. There's no time limit.

[SteelCurtain]

Also, if you're really worried about it, don't tell any of the women you meet you're a virgin. Let it ride. Maybe you'll be a ringer and be good first time, maybe not.

[AceBoogie]

Quit worrying yourself man. Sex certainly is an important part of life, but it's nothing to fret over. My biggest advice is to just start talking to girls on a regular basis. I'm not saying to go out and try and get numbers, I mean literally just interact with females on a regular basis. You're going to have to deal with some of the awkwardness that comes with learning how to talk to women, period. That is unavoidable. But I'm just saying talk to girls constantly.

Make conversation with the cashier at Starbucks... make friends with girls, hang out with girls... would really help if you got to know a girl well that isn't family... After you get comfortable just interacting with women, then worry about getting laid.

After that learn how to start flirting with women. Even if it's a girl you're not particularly attracted to, learn to flirt a little. I'm not a big fan of "running game" on women (some of these "pickup artist" guys are basically sociopaths), but there are certain things you can do and say to build sexual tension between you and a girl, but don't worry about these things until you're simply comfortable with being around women.

Also, I would certainly look for a casual hookup before looking for a serious relationship. Sex is certainly an important part of a romantic relationship and you want to be comfortable with your body and your sexuality before you get into something serious with someone.

edit:

Definitely be confident in yourself when interacting with girls. It also doesn't hurt to be a little cocky, in a funny way. Don't take yourself too seriously

Stay clean, smell good, dress well (doesn't matter what your style is, just look presentable)

Have your own life, don't live to please anyone but you

be down to earth and make an attempt to actually relate to people



I lost my virginity a little late but now I don't even think about that. Sex is awesome and is definitely an important part of life but there's no need to stress yourself out because of this.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

It's not a turn off unless you talk about it for 30 minutes straight and explain to the girl you're just going to have sex with how it's affected your self esteem and general outlook towards life. Just pretend like you know what you're doing and you'll be fine.

[Amarok]

I'm 23, a junior in college and I've never slept with, kissed, made out or had sex with a single girl in my 23 years of existence! Someone told me once that I'll probably remain a virgin for the rest of my lifetime since girls find that to be a huge turnoff. I don't know, it doesn't help that I'm very shy either. I dress normally, not weird and have good hygiene. I usually wear black or blue vans with black socks and then tan or olive cargo shorts and a plain t shirt. Sometimes long, and short depending on the weather. And I'm usually wearing a baseball cap. I wear deodorant, take showers regularly and brush my teeth. But I guess since I'm not drop dead gorgeous girls just aren't attracted to me

I'm not expecting some super model to fall out of the sky and want to date me right away. But I just feel like I have zero attractive traits whatsoever and that girls just aren't attracted to me. 

Like I said, I'm not weird or anything. I'm just shy and keep to myself. I am a very nice person though. Maybe I'm too nice? My Mom has told me I'm quite a great listener as well. 

I don't live on campus either, I live by myself.

My friend I was a virgin til I was 27 your priority should be to find someone you really wanna have a relationship with. Love  is sometimes a marathon not a dash. and often the former has greater rewards. Hang in there your time will come.

[The Grand Nudger]

IDK, I can deal in a loveless marriage, not saying it's something I'd look forward too, but if the sex dries up, that's walking papers for me.  Love without sex is ten hours of listening to someone else's boyfriend problems then pulling a lonely handy in the shower before crying yourself to sleep.  Sex without love, otoh, is at least still sex. I've got the best of both atm, but it started out as mindblowing sex. Didn;t even know her name, couldn't have picked her out in a lineup the next day. Too drunk. Took a good long while to fall in love.